Eternal poetry

A Prayer in Springby Robert Frost

2012-02-09T23:09:00.001-08:00

Oh, give us pleasure in the flowers today;
And give us not to think so far away
As the uncertain harvest; keep us here
All simply in the springing of the year.

Oh, gives us pleasure in the orchard white,
Like nothing else by day, like ghosts by night;
And make us happy in the happy bees,
The swarm dilating round the perfect trees.

And make us happing in the darting bird
Tha suddenly above the bees is heard,
The meteor that thrusts in with needle bill,
And off a blossom in mid-air stands still.

For this is love and nothing else is love,
The which it is reversed for God above
To sanctify to what far ends He will,
But which it only needs that wee fulfill.

சில நினைவுகள்

2012-02-04T20:42:00.000-08:00

நொடிகள் எல்லாம் நிமிடங்களில் கரைய
நிமிடங்கள் ஓடி மணிக்குள் மறைய
மணிகள் கூட நாட்கள், வாரங்கள், மாதங்கள் என்று
காலம் கரையும் கணக்கை வார்த்தையில் எப்படி?

நினைவு குமிழிகள் உடைந்த கனவுகள்
வெறும் சோப்புக்குமிழியாய்
சத்தம் இல்லா காற்றும் இல்லா
தடமே இன்றி வெறுமை நிறைக்கும்

சில நினைவுகள் போல
கனவில் மட்டும் கலராய் நிறைந்து
விழித்த போதில் நீரில் கரைந்து -விழி நீரில் கரைந்து
கானல் நிஜமாய் கனவின் உருவாய் ...

Familiarity and Comfort

2012-01-30T11:57:00.000-08:00

Are familiarity and comfort synonymous? To me they look like. I do like to venture in the unknown territory, and enjoy the sense of achievement after completing a challenging something. I love exploring the brand new, unlearned avenues of knowledge. I also find comfort in the familiar.

It is like - when I take off on a drive to a completely new destination - I do get excited.But I just don't start driving before doing some basic planning. Let me think a little bit more about it.

- Know the destination.
- Plan the route.Take GPS. Still check out the maps online before starting :)
- Plan buffer time for any unexpected delays.
- Make sure got enough gas in the tank.
- Other stuff to prepare kids, yourself etc are intuitive!

So I reach, and return. Happy, excited and satisfied. Yet, when I reach the freeway I know, the exit I need to take, a complete sense of safety washes over me. And that is why I think familiarity and comfort are synonymous. Though I would never want to be in a comfort zone for ever, I would want to return to the comfort zone and familiar settings to recharge and venture out more.

Silence

2012-01-25T10:12:00.000-08:00

Silence - can mean quite a few things. The meaning of silence is very circumstantial and subjective. Acceptance, Rejection, Aggression, Submission, Love and plain simple passive laziness... Silence does acquire a lot of shades.

Being silent and being feeling silent are two completely different things.

Being silent can be for a lot of different reasons, ranging anywhere from the list mentioned above. This sort of silence sometimes is more dangerous than a ship wreck. This drowns the person who is observing silence in a lot of different feelings such as anger, self pity, injustice and stifling anguish. This silence needs to be broken. Unless the person speaks or vents, the person is never going to feel at peace with him/herself or life.

On the other hand, feeling silent is just the opposite. The silent feeling descends on an individual or two When there is content, complacence and may be friendship, love etc. When two people understand that silence is not a void to be filled by noise, rather a vacuum devoid of noise, and cherish the moment, feels the silence - life becomes more beautiful.

Whatever it is - understanding the power of silence and trying to practice it at times, at appropriate times, can bring peace to our existence.

Pooh bear and Eeyore

2012-01-21T22:18:00.000-08:00

Just a little difference. Being happy or being sad. Pooh bear and Eeyore - both lived in the 100 acre woods. I had always liked the silly old yellow cuddly bear. And never had any sympathy for that so tired looking sad donkey :)

I just looked at the ever present silly old yellow cuddly Pooh bear in that corner. What a beautiful symbolic reminder of happiness it is. Never once had I thought pooh bear in association with more deeper meanings of life!

Life comes in the same package for everyone. Colorful, morbid, scary, dangerous, funny, foolish, silly - whatever. Its our reaction to the life. A friend motioned her chance encounter with her co worker. Her coworker always brought sunshine. And my friend had never had an opportunity to go beyond the casual "hi - bye". Yesterday, she had a little bit more time for chitchat. And found out the coworker has a born blind 13 year old child. She didn't complain about the child or God. She had accepted the fact as it is and living her life to the fullest. She is not sad, bitter and unhappy.

And here I am complaining and shouting at my blessings almost on an everyday basis. Why? Because I am looking at life from Eeyore's perspective. Looking for a happiness that is in my mind. Not looking at the happiness that is present- right in front of me!!!!! Oh the silly old pooh bear must have had a good laugh all these years.

Well this doesn't mean the reactions are going to be tailored and always pleasant and happy. But will definitely start trying!

நினைவுகள்

2012-01-20T23:45:00.000-08:00

வெளியே மழை.
நனைந்த இமைகள்.
கனமாய் மனது.

மழை மாலை

2012-01-20T18:38:00.000-08:00

கரு சுமந்த மேகங்கள்

இருள் நிறைந்த அந்தி வேளை

தலை குளித்த மரம் நிறைந்த

கார் வண்ண நெடுஞ்சாலை -

கடந்து செல்ல நெடுந்தூரம்

துணையிருக்கும் மெல்லிசை

மழைகால மாலை கூட

சிலநேரம் சுகமாக ...

நினைவலையின் சாரலிலே

நனைந்தபடி மெதுவாக

நேரத்தை துரத்தாமல்

நிஜ நிழலில் ஒதுங்காமல்

சுகமான சிறு பயணம்!

இசை

2012-01-18T21:09:00.000-08:00

எங்கோ பிறந்து
எதிலோ கலந்து
காற்றாய் நுழைந்து
பாட்டாய் கரைந்து
மனதை வருடி
இதயம் நிறைக்கும்
இசையின் வடிவம்
யாரோ அறிவார்?
காலம் வென்ற
காதல் சொல்லி
மரணம் என்ற
வலியும் சொல்லி
உறவின் அருமை
பிரிவில் சொல்லி
எல்லாம் சொல்லும்
இசையின் வலிமை
மனிதம் இருக்கும்
வரையில் இருக்கும்.

If you can -

2012-01-13T10:57:00.000-08:00

Accept who you are
Understand your strengths
Know your weaknesses
Practice what you believe in
Fearless when it comes to truth
Agree each of us are different
Look beyond personal differences
Love yourself and never pretends
Do things to your highest level of satisfaction
Take criticism on your work positively
Ignore criticism on your genes
Just move on.
Keep going.
Don't stop for praises.
Don't ignore criticism.
Don't think about what you don't have.
Do what you can do to be beautiful from inside out.
Not the other way round.
It’s your life.
You have the right to live it.
Just don’t step on your neighbors toes :)

Time

2011-12-30T14:01:00.000-08:00

As the time slips into eternity never to return...I reflect on the upcoming New Year and all that, that had passed.

year after year, second after second we do make resolutions and that is not what is on my mind just now. Its not only the meaning of life and death that amazes me often. It is also everything in between. The broken promises, lost friendships, forgotten talents...in the pursuit of money and material happiness.

I am of course involved in that pursuit and very much journeying the direction of material happiness, career bliss, harmony at home etc etc. Still I want to take time to reflect upon all that I am blessed with and all that I long for. And all that I had lost.

The very human existence is just a huge piece of puzzle and we always miss the two basic pieces to complete. Wonder what are the missing pieces ever, anyone? The LIFE and DEATH. Where do we come from and what happens after. And without that knowledge the puzzle is never complete. yet, even with the broken puzzle we are so stuffed with attitudes and everything else - we forget we are just one piece of incomplete puzzle in the universe...

Oh well....whatever it is, I have to stop. Because I am not even half way done with cleaning the kids closet...then I got think about dinner...And life goes on.

Time...

2011-12-22T20:33:00.000-08:00

...slips into eternity, never to return. Every second ticking away dutifully not stopping to pause or wait or stay.

What we do and how we live sometimes gets into auto mode. We forget to notice not just time, even life slipping by. To wake up with a sudden jolt at moments and then again to be buried into mechanical inertia.

Spark

2011-12-20T00:22:00.000-08:00

A spark can both burn down or enlighten. Depends on how the spark originates and is handled. However it originates, the power of creation or destruction are endless. It is how we handle the fire, gives the result. Sometimes it enables us to cook a fabulous meal, read a beautiful book, light an entire city, or burn down a lush green forest forever.

Bharathi wrote in beautiful Tamil "Agnikkunjondru..." I feel I cannot bring in the feel and power of those four lines by translation. But while thinking back on the sparks - too many are let to die un attended...

I wonder how ever to bring the light out from the darkness. What??? Bring light out from dark?? How can darkness engulf light? When it is clouded by dark smoke or darker clouds we cannot see the light right? In smoke and cloud, even light can be hidden behind darkness. Some darkness, such as ignorance and arrogance are such strong clouds that they can hide even the brightest sparks.

With gentle breeze of wisdom, strength, and the determination of the waves, navigate the smoke away to enjoy a sweet brightness.

Choices

2011-12-13T14:52:00.000-08:00

To be or not to be is an every day dilemma for every single human in every waking moment. From what to wear to work, what to pack for lunch, do I need to say yes or no to something in life. Its the choices that we make at those moments shapes our everyday destiny. So the relationship between the dilemma, destiny and choices can define what we want to be from what we are.

For most of us, what we want to be is entirely different from what we are. And most do regret the choices made. Most often the choices are not reversible too. The underlying factor? Make choices and stick with them. How to make the choices? Think, discuss, analyze and decide. But after deciding - don't think, discuss or analyze the decision. Nope - that wont help you or the person you are discussing with. You can do all these three with further actions, but not about the decision itself.

Being happy with our own choices or working to be happy with our choices will definitely help us to be content. And being content is the first step towards enjoying the moment and appreciating life.

Nature

2011-11-28T15:47:00.000-08:00

It was a lovely reprieve from the fast paced everyday reality. The woods were simply gorgeous, romantic and so very real with marks of human invasion. Who planted all those sequoia trees all over the region? Very famously known as the red woods – after recently reading the native American history and life style, all through the train trip – I was completely immersed in the life, beauty and hardship of aborigines in America, India and elsewhere. How close they lived with nature…and how they co existed with nature. After standing with me on the open observation car, looking at the tall trees all the way to Northspur.
My son asked me – “Mom, why do we cut the trees? Can we not just use the naturally fallen trees to make paper? And use something else for other things?” Well though I didn’t have a reasonable answer, I am happy to see an environmentalist in the making. I got to admit – the fear of unknown is much stronger driving in the night through the dense thick lush and dark forest with no light other than the car headlights. Can’t beat the sense of scared adventure J
I feel close to God when I am closer to nature (and without the chores to remind my human existence that is)!!!

On demand

2011-11-21T16:38:00.000-08:00

Can everything in life be on demand? What about family and friends? Some times for some folks everything including these two basic features of human existence seems to be necessary only on demand. And that makes me wonder - how does it make the person being approached on demand feel.

May be for the first few times, its OK. If the one that is approaching on demand is really in need of support....and after the need it satisfied, the friend or family vanishes into oblivion. What triggers that sudden outbursts of needy clingyness and equally strong estrangement?
When they approach to unload, never once do they ask if its convenient to the other or do they have time, or are they doing well etc, etc. This truly makes me think on the purpose of investing time, energy and honest caring to the person.

May be in future, we will have businesses such as "Friendship On Demand" and "Family On Demand" booming. Are am I being ignorant of any existing businesses like that now?

Safe Haven

2011-11-12T09:28:00.000-08:00

And so it began....Reading Nicholas Sparks. Reading has always been my safe haven. So on a rainy day in dull spirits, I started Nicholas Sparks' Safe Haven. Well as a Danielle Steel fan - I do read a mixture of books, from Dante to Danielle Steel.

Now hooked on to this writer I have never read before. Apparently he has been on the bestsellers list. But after my unhappy encounter with Eat Love and Pray I tried to stay away from books that are hailed as best sellers :). I started considering best sellers as a big no no - though my mind of reasoning kept telling me not all best sellers are like "Eat Love and Pray". I did like "Three Cups of Tea"....

If you are looking at some light reading to get entertained during travel, waiting etc...Niccholas Sparks can sparkle the time away.

Loss

2011-11-03T12:56:00.000-07:00

It hurts the darkest recesses of heart
Dealing with it becomes an art
Enigmatic realizations of the end
Engulfing waking moments with no mend

Sudden bolts of bittersweet moments
Fills minutes with dazed remnants
Silent screams fill the air
Like a dumb singer memories fare...

An enchanting enigma...

2011-10-07T23:33:00.001-07:00

...was Steve Jobs. Right to the very end. His charisma, business sense and beyond everything else, the gleam of naughty genius in the eye...everything was amazing, simply AMAZING about Steve Jobs. The fact that I lived in the same city as him, I am able use the products he launched from the podium wearing the iconic black turtleneck and the almost impish grin, is a memory I will keep close to my heart until my end.He was indeed the most successful and fiercely private person. his guarded secrecy about everything and shunning the celebrity status, made him be the most wanted in the techie world. his enigmatic nature enchanted the tech world and more. His vision, conviction and courage - vastly unknown to the world came to light in his end. In his end he attained the beginning of a fame he would have avoided. The outpouring of love on his death - is completely believable.rest in peace Steve Jobs. We love you.

A dream and a nightmare...

2011-10-05T11:18:00.001-07:00

When I learned about America, I was in awe of the American Dream. For those of you wondering what an American Dream was here is the little definition from Wikipedia:

"In the definition of the American Dream by James Truslow Adams in 1931, "life should be better and richer and fuller for everyone, with opportunity for each according to ability or achievement" regardless of social class or circumstances of birth.[1] The idea of the American Dream is rooted in the United States Declaration of Independence which proclaims that "all men are created equal" and that they are "endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable Rights" including "Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.""

I believed in it and came here to live the Dream. Slowly the dream is turning into the nightmare. I was looking for life of equality, fraternity and comradeship where everyone lives and let live. Today most die and let die - kill.

The bitterness, failure, economy, anger, frustration that is so wide spread in America is completely unbelievable. Whatever has happened to you America?? What chaos is engulfing the once glorious land of freedom? The stock market meltdown, real estate meltdown, job market meltdown...all these meltdown has melted the human emotions and stripped the humans into barbarians...

Where do we have the power? What’s the law? What happens to law abiding citizens? GOD - it’s crazy to think about. Now anything can happen anytime. I just don’t mean the nature's delicate balance and natural disasters...I am talking about all random people owning gun and shooting at anyone they want to shoot. What requires a person to own a gun? What government lets its people own guns? Deadly weapons are deadly. Simple. So why have them at home?? The politicians talks about laws for abortion, circumcision and what not. But no one talks about abolishing the gun ownership in common man.

What triggers me to write this? This morning we woke up to the sounds of helicopters and cop cars flooding the corner of our street. An armed person shot at people at random at a meeting and killed 2, wounded many...my heart goes out to people that lost their lives. They are dead and their family will live in fear, memories and unjust anger. The suspect is still at large - 7 hours after the shooting. What madness has come upon the human kind? The mere anarchy not only scares me but question the wisdom of having kids - what do have to give them? Fear? I don’t know.

Their lives should be filled with love, good memories, good people, like a happy dream. Instead the world turns it into a nightmare...God Help Us and the world.

Musings...yet another...

2011-05-24T11:58:00.000-07:00

There is time and then there is the 'sense' of time. Time seems to be vanishing behind the routine but then it seems to be on a standstill. I have not accomplished anything great, I have not accomplished anything bad. On wel;l, that is pretty good - no bad, no hurts and no pain. But, I haven't even spent time with the family. Looks like I am being a robot, operated by the demands of work and family - not really paying attention to both.

We go on and about everyday and things happen - time just moves on. What impact do we make in our lives and in the lives of others that depend on us? Primarily the kids...how many days have I skipped reading to the daughter? How many days have I told myself "I should check the homework every night" in the past three weeks? So I feel we still have the time elemts but its the lack of the sense of time that makes thigs slip by - we notice but pretend as if we do not.

A very mysterious enigma

2011-04-02T14:32:00.000-07:00

....is the human mind. Such is life. Science cannot decode life, the human mind and attitudes. Who has ever tried to decode the mysterious depths of the thought process of a single human mind? Being a human - a sensitive human that cares for the fellow human, has brought me to many potential situations of totall embarrassments and baffled moments of silence. Oh well...it makes life interesting and also makes me feel so unbelievably stupid for being what I am. The intricate human relations that brings on a possessive entanglement to the cohabitants.... The utterly self centered nature that keeps everything else except the "me', devoid any emotional balance toward the rest of the world... The unnatural sense for call for power, money and everything else that gives humans the total material advantage... Being a part of this world IS very intricate and complicated at times. And trying to surface for a breath of fresh air with like minded, sensitive and not to selfish individuals is what keeps one going as long as the forces of nature and life let us walk over the earth.

Whats with the world?

2011-03-26T10:11:00.001-07:00

It is staggering and insanely bothering. I am putting off reading the Merc until after everyone sleeps because of the intensity of the messages the articles conveys. And yes, my family calls me the wimpy. Because I get upset or worried about stuff that does not matter to me. How can the stuff not matter to me? We can be a tiny little particle in the Universe....we do live on this earth and have a convoluted responsibility to where we live. And I DO believe the things happen around us, DOES affect our lives in one way or another, directly or indirectly, if not today then another day.

W.B. Yeats comes to my mind almost everyday these days...

"Things fall apart; the center cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosened upon the world
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity."

Some poets are by all means prophets.

The natural disaster and on top of it the nuclear one in Japan...
The passionate intensity of ONE man that floods the streets with blood in Libya...
The never ending conflict and outbursts of agony in the middle east...
The eternal politics that ensnares reality and tramples over general public in India...

on top of all these things...I do read about the gun and crime on our local streets here. How is it possible for a teen to own a weapon and use it at their own discretion????

Whats happening?

Compromises

2011-02-14T17:39:00.000-08:00

Life is not exactly a bed of roses (by the way, is a bed of roses is of whole roses or just the petals? The reason behind this question is, if its whole roses, we might still have hidden thorns)..

Is life an everyday reckoning to handle with as much force as possible and try to defeat it? Is life a journey, that is not really under our control - that we need to float with the flow and go where the currents take us? Is life an experiment to try, find out and live? What if an experiment fails and we have no more chances to retry the same, as often happens?

Well well looks like I am sounding as morbid as can be...thats not the idea.

Sometimes things do not happen the way they should or the way that is more productive and positive. Or even the way we think is good for everyone around. How does a human nature react to being challenged in an unexpected unfair manner?

I have so many questions like this all the time....mostly without any answers. Is it common and am I just getting older?

Time numbs the pain but the scar stays.

2010-12-09T11:37:00.001-08:00

Nine years ago, today God gave us a huge lesson on loss. As young and expectant parents we had lot of dreams for our first child. Skeptical, scared and careful, treading softly on the stairs, eating exactly as the doc and books suggested, shunning coffee and anything caffenie completely, we were so excited, thrilled and happy the first few months...a little more than few.

I was on the table waiting for the ultrasound technician to tell me the baby is doing fine. I even had the courage to ask her, can you please tell me the sex of my baby? that young tecnician apparently baffled by my question and what she saw on the screen got teary eyed and called another experienced technician. I needed to use the rest room so badly. In those days they make you drink gallons of water before ultrasound, if you are pregnant. Well I asked her can I use the restroom. She said, somehting like oh can you please wait, I'll call the senior technician. And then the senior technician came. With every person near the table my husband's grip on my hand was getting tighter and his face getting ashen. I, totally clueles, asked again "can you please tell me the sex of my babay?"

And she asks, do you want to use the rest room. I still had no clue something was amiss. Well...restroom, of couse. And apparently they told my husband when I was in. I came out. She said, your doctor is waiting to see you in her room. What?? Why? We do not even have an appointment today. We came in for an ultrasound. Well my husband hushes me and takes me by hand. Very unusual for him to hold my hand in public back then. I still had no clue. And I go to the doctor's office. Doctor hugs me. Tells me my baby is dead in womb. Well....

Nine years later and two blessings after, I still have a lingering question that disturbs my sleep especially on Dec 9th...why?

Paradox...?

2010-12-08T16:38:00.000-08:00

Away from home, on a business trip, all alone for three full days. Well I wish for it very infrequently when the kids drive me crazy. But when it actually happens, sitting alone in your hotel room, with all the time in the world to do whatever you want to do, all you can do is to think about the family. I am away...well not really. Oh what did they have for lunch....are the shoes scattered everywhere, were they picked up on time...are they missing me etc etc, thoughts that crowd my mind and I am staring at the CNN channel and newspaper spread in front me me.

Darn it! come on hey wake up...you wanted to be away from them and you got the opportunity. Enjoy that. Relax. Take a Walk. Read the W.B Yeats you had unread for about 3 years now. Oh no, she threw up this morning..s she coming down with a cold? Or is it a new kind of virus that is going around...oh when is the school winter program? oh shoot, what time is it??? Run into the shower, rush through the process...phone rings...oh no I am getting late for the session. Oh where is the relaxed morning that I was thinking to have alone? huh? Relax? well...shove down the breakfast buffet...resist the urge to call yet again to see if they are ready on time to school...all the while smiling and making small talks to the people on the breakfast table.

Well..its a whole different story at the training sessions...I am so engrossed, I forget the coffee breaks! I am not even aware that I am away from home, so love the product that I am working on right now and all I can think about is ways to get to the nuances that were so elusive before...What exactly is it that keeps me at both poles? the mommy paradox?

Delicate balance...

2010-10-19T15:37:00.000-07:00

I was watching a program on volcanoes. Looking at the magma and lava pouring out of the earth's darkest inner most regions got me dumbfounded. As always thoughts soared to all other natural disasters possible...the earth quakes, tsunamis, hurricanes and what not.

Anything is possible and the very existence of every human being is so dependent on so many natural and man made un reliable factors. hanging on such a delicate balance over inferno, we are so hung up on our attitudes!!! Gosh I cannot believe that. Seriously, life is as always I say, sooo ephemeral. Anything can happen any moment. The San Bruno gas explosion, who expected that? The Tsunami that washed aways thousands of people with no warning...the earth quakes that mutilated and killed thousands...not to mention the everyday road accidents, health issues....I shudder.

Well I am not trying to be so gloomy and negative. On the contrary. I am trying to understand the very value of our existence and be thankful for the life. Thankful in a way we value every other human being and treat fairly and not hurt...

Frangrant memories

2010-09-29T14:47:00.000-07:00

Ah…the fragrance of Jasmine…instantly transports me to those late 80s and early 90s in Trichy. With long hair and wearing typical South Indian outfits, those were the days when all young girls prided ourselves with the length of our hair and appropriate adornments. And adornments were mostly flowers and especially for me it was specifically Jasmine.

Though I stayed away from home in an all women’s hostel/school/college combo, we had access to flowers through – we all called her “pookara patti”, every single day. None of us knew how old she was. She used look fairly young may be in her early 40s. Still we called her patti. And buying the jasmine was my single most expensive treat of teen years. Comb hair, tie up with ribbons and adorn it with oh so heavenly smelling Jasmine. The pink Star gazer jasmine (Jadhi malli) one day, little whity white bulb like Gundu malli, and the thin, white, Mullai the other day….

I am almost a life time away from those places and fragrances now. But my afternoon Jasmine tea brings back a rush of thoughts that crowds my thinking with days back then…

This never stops!

2010-08-09T21:19:00.001-07:00

Yes, this never stops!! The learning curve never hits a plateau in life. Every moment in life is filled with experiences richly covered with enigmatic knowledge to get wiser from. Looking at the moments superficially, we miss the hidden messages. But when we start observing every passing moment at words as well as silences and wait to absorb the information, a light bulb gets on.

Its the aha moment of truth- and if we identify this moment, we get richer in experience and knowledge. We're able to relate to poeple in the right degree required. No iota more or less. Keeping life balanced and taking moments to think before to talk can enhance the learning experience through our everyday experience.

Most beautifu part of this learning from experience is - its never too late to learn!

Work Etiquette

2010-05-25T14:09:00.000-07:00

From a novice, for beginners…Experience makes a great teacher!

Be nice and talk less. People and co workers need not essentially keep lively conversations every day. What really matters is work, satisfactory work and learning. Learning process never stops. Until the day we die – because that’s when we learn what death isJ! So to get back to what I am thinking about…ah, it is important to learn, and do justice to the money we get paid to work in any place. No one needs to have “friends” at work place. Being cordial, pleasant, well mannered, respectful and helpful are the only and very essential qualities at work. Make sure you do not forget these. Avoid over sharing, giving unsolicited advices, unsolicited help (unless it’s a critical situation), trying to sound like a know all and being Ms. Smart pants.

Learn to talk like a diplomat. You can really present the bitterest of information in the sweetest and confident voice – and better still, get the message across. If you get all sweaty, panicked, angry and bitter, the message you want to convey to your team or boss gets lost in the pool of your emotions. All they’ll care is how you have taken this incident or a success or failure – rather than the actual success or failure. I am not trying to say behave like Buddha. It’s more like being balanced in the way you write your emails, talk to your co workers and boss and communicate with the rest of the crowd at work. Don’t be curt, but be right on target. Keep the focus. If you can, spice up the focus with little pleasantries. But don’t get carried away in pleasantries and forget your focus.

Understand everybody is different. Everyone you work in any work place is hired based on certain virtues. Learn to accept their knowledge and understand your differences. Just because you do certain things well does not under estimate your co worker’s ability to do something else better. As we are all so unique, so are our specialties and talents. Always be willing to learn and share your knowledge. But never try to share what you know – if no one asks you. Keep to yourself until you are asked to talk. Sometimes, you may be very nice to share your workarounds for a specific task with your co worker… But they might think you are being imposing and demanding that you want everyone to follow “your” way. You know that is not so. Why do you want to get into such a messy situation? Zip your mouth until you are asked for help or an explanation. If you are never asked, write it down for your reference later and forget it.

Greet, Listen and Smile. Being good and nice to people is important and also listening to people. Nobody wants to know if you folded your cloths all night long. But everybody would be happy if you wait for a little minute for them to answer your “How are you?” question. Remember you are not asking a rhetorical question when you smile at someone and ask how they are doing? Show you really consider them as your fellow human being. So listen, answer appropriately and sympathize.

Be yourself. It’s important to be polite, not to create an argument or come across as a strong willed and adamant personality. It’s equally important to show your originality. Showing originality does not mean hurting others or stomping your foot down on somebody’s ideas. You have to agree with people but when something they say does not match your ideas and life style, you can definitely disagree gracefully. You don’t have to stop listening or walk away or get mad. Just listen quietly, let them talk, vent out or anything. If someone ask for your opinion, say “Sorry, I respect your point of view but differ from it, this is my reason” and stop right there. You need not engage in a passionate tirade of reasons to substantiate your points.

Keep your commitments. Before committing for a deadline, gauge your work. Take everything involved in your work into consideration and then some time for review and unexpected delays. But never miss a deadline. You can over estimate a wee little bit and assign a day or two extra for the completion. But when you say a date, deliver the final product, right on time. And make sure you had two days before the deadline to review the final version and make all necessary edits. A final hand off should look like a final hand off – in any stage. Not like a half baked corn bread that’s gooey and crumbles to the touch. If at all you have to miss a deadline for some reason, let them know, in advance. Look at your plate before accepting additional tasks. If your plate is already full, don’t overload it! It’s a big no no for dieting and work!! Eat only what you can, and stay healthy! Same way get only what you know you can accomplish and stay peaceful!

Fear.

2010-04-28T14:47:00.000-07:00

My 4 year old said, "you know waht mommy, I'll die when I am seven years old". First time, I missed a beat for a moment. Horrified and in total fear, I explained, no baby - we do not talk about death. She said okey mommy. Today, driving her to school, I heard the same sentence repeated again from the back seat. Uncanny it is and gives me shivers to think...but I wonder where she has gotten this idea from.

I honestly do not know how to react. SImply told her, honey we all die oneday, but we do not talk about it. She asked why. What do I say to a almost four year old about death? I remember my no 7 yrs old talking about it. He simply asked me about death after listening too all of us talk about my young cousin who passed away. It was easy for me then, I told him people die when they get 100 years old. And he asked why she went to God early. My naive explnation of God does not want some special people to suffer ill health, sufficed at that point.

How can I explain to my 4 yr old that she is not supposed to nurse that idea and repeat the this conversation? After all I understand our life is so ephemeral. We neither know when we come and when we go nor where. WIth the kids of disasters on earth, tsunamis, earth quakes, fires and other horrendous crimes that take peoples life away everyday, I know we are not invincible - nor do I want to be that. But sometimes when it comes to unknown - I think ignoring the inevitable is better for our life on earth than fretting over.

So why does she make such statements and unleash such powerful sense of fear in me?

Identity?

2010-03-11T13:14:00.000-08:00

I had this conversation with a few of my friends recently. They were surprised by the fact that I still use bindi and mangal sutra, even after beginning to work in a multi national environment on a 9-5 job. I don't know if they were trying to imply I am a conservative or so tight on my "old" practices etc. Though I need not have explained why i do all that, I did on the peripheral level. I do not know what everyone believes in and I do not plan to change any body's practice.

But as person, as an Indian from Tamilnadu, I have some beliefs and practices that has given me the identity. I value that identity and I am at Peace with who I am. I do not feel the need to change myself and my faith to live in America and respect this country. Do the women from middle east remove their head scarf just to mingle in "society"? We do not question them. It's totally agant personal law. And I respect them for not loosing their identity and still valuing this diverse nation.

I do not feel the need to stop using bindi or mangal sutra, to feel one among the citizens of America. The feeling does not come from external modifications. It comes from within. I care for my community, I take care of my surroundings, I do not litter, do not waste electricity or water, donate for good causes, I volunteer for my school, I do what I can for the society I live in. I think that makes me more of an American than not using Bindi or taking off my mangal Sutra.

Anybody with me?

On Budget and Schools...

2010-02-09T23:09:00.000-08:00

Shaping the future pillars of soceity is very much in our hands. Looks like its just running away like the ginger bread man, so innocently to end up in some clever fox's mouth. Every time I meet up with a fellow mom, we do not start our conversation with the weather. Its "oh did you hear so and so is going to let go of next year?, Did you read about our school district? Did you hear about the class room size increase etc...etc".

As parents we all want the best for our children. As a community we all want to provide our children with the best education that can guide them through life forever. But when many devoted teachers are gone, and the available teacher's are left to deal with larger classrooms, how chaotic is the situation going to be? May be the principal and school district can justify it with a serious explanation of series of numbers. But what boils down is the confused kids, parents and equally confused teachers.

I heard from another mom that the school district is supposed to pay 3 million as fine to the state for increasing classroom sizes. I did not check this statement yet. But if thats true, is this a wise move??? First pay a 3 million fine and increase class sizes. The spend a few more millions on infrastructure to accomodate 33 kids in a class room designed for 20 kids. Then spend few more millions in training teachers to handle 33 kids instead of 20, they are used to. Does it make any sense? Not to me. Why not use all the money on the existing teachers in the same existing classroom set up?

Hello fellow moms, with school age children, any suggestions on voicing our thoughts and getting some help?

I have some Dreams...

2010-01-25T23:45:00.000-08:00

Forgive me Dr. MLK, for borrowing your famous words. I neither aspire greatness nor flaunt erudite imagination. My simple encounters with life makes me dream big every single day. Some vanish in thin air, some stay strong - sending spiral waves through my whole being until I can stand it no longer.

I have some dreams, mostly basic, may be lofty....

For a world filled with people who care...

For a day I can be completely honest and not be snickered upon.

For the kids to listen to us on a single loving word. (Not make us steam so hard with frustration to get them eat a single meal, know where it comes from).

For us to take kids as kids and not loose cool at the simplest form of non responsiveness :)

For a world where equality in ALL form.

For a world where there is NO WAR.

For honest politicians who care for people in the real sense.

For Humanity to reign supreme vanity to vanish.

2010-01-14T22:26:00.000-08:00

இதயம் நிரப்பிய
வார்த்தைக் குமிழிகள்
ஊமையின் அலறலாய்
உள்ளேயே தஹிக்கும்

இமைகள் நிரப்பிய
ஈரங்கள் கூட
இறங்க மறுத்து
அலையென பொங்கிடும்

நிஜமாய் தெரிந்த நிழல்கள் எல்லாம்

நிறங்கள் கரைந்து வெறுமை நிறைக்க

கனவுசுமையும் உள்ளே புதிதாய்

நினவுசுமையும் இதயம் நிறைக்கும்.

School Woes...

2010-01-14T11:55:00.000-08:00

Can you understand trimming the roots and wanting the tree to grow tall, lush & healthy? I cannot. But that's what the country & the state are pushing the city & the school district do. Cupertino school district is one of the highly sought after, school district with good teacher student ratio, community and test scores.

But the latest announcement says they are going to lay off at least 30% of the teachers due to budget woes. Strikes a nerve at a place that hurts most. Imagine children cramped into a classroom with a teacher who can barely handle them with individual attention.

As a classroom parent volunteer I see how the teacher really have to be behind some students to get the work done - even in a 20:1 class. the teacher now makes sure every student gets the time and attention they deserve. Teacher can talk about every students pluses and minuses. If the class room size increases, how is this going to be possible??? I'm so sorry that our children are going to suffer because of something that we did not want happen. The war.

This monster's claws can reach out far and tear away the flesh with no conscience at all. We still call ourselves the best. I wonder.

Up in the Air!!!!!!!!!

2009-12-24T11:55:00.001-08:00

This is what I call Up in the air :) A photo from San Jose Holiday Parade, 2009! Loved every minute of the parade and the enthusiasm the performers (most of them school kids around the bay area) showed on the cold gray morning, made even the dreary weather sparkle!

People

2009-12-22T11:46:00.000-08:00

Well another random outburst from a personal experience. I, like many other consider my blog where I can unload my rubs with life's experiences and raw emotions.

People come in all colors, shapes and sizes. A line I read some where, may be in a book that I read to my children about the human diversity. Yep RIGHT! People do come in all shapes and sizes and mentalities.

Treat thy neighbor as yourself. Excuse me??? What are you talking about?? Why the hell should I treat my neighbor as I would treat myself? Its a free world, I can do whatever I want, what ever I like. I don't need to worry about how its affecting my neighbor! This is the new rule. you don't come preaching me goodness!!

I have lot of pet peeves when it comes to people. People who call you at odd hours to talk about their comfort and who do not even want to return a genuine call of distress or a problem - mind you a problem that bothers you and not them. People who shamelessly manipulate every other individuals with a serious self focus, cannot think about how it inconveniences the other person. People who always say they never have the kind of time to return calls. People who do not respond to emails. The kind that never feels sorry or say sorry for a mistake they commit, the kind that takes you for granted to suit their own purposes all the time, the list goes on with a few more kinds.

Sometimes I wonder if something is wrong with me, because I always return my calls, respond to emails and really follow up on issues people share with me. And someone important to me always tells me not to do all these. I respond with - well that is what I am. I like to respond to people's call or emails. But he says because you do that, people think you have nothing better to do. Is that right? I'm not sure.

Mayday...Mayday...

2009-12-11T23:30:00.000-08:00

Ye fellow parents! To read about budget woes is disheartening and to read how budget woes are affecting the future - which will lead to more budget woes is...oh soooo cruel. Confused what I'm talking about? Take a moment to read below.

http://www.mercurynews.com/cupertino/ci_13978995?source=rss&nclick_check=1

America can spend trillions for war and justify it. Also America can cut millions from schools and justify it. Schools that produce the future generation. Future generation that shape the society. The society that plan another budget with aother crisis.

I was talking to my friend just yesterday who was longing for Clinton Era. She - lucky one who had experienced the Clinton Era said, everything was prosperopus and beautiful. What happened to all those prosperity in a decade? Did we give everything to the war - so much so that we are ready to deprive our children with essential education?

With misplaced priorities the whole humanity is tumbling into a void. God Save the Humanity.

A Decade of Decline???

2009-12-11T08:51:00.000-08:00

Surfing yahoo news article I had a glimpse of a headline - after 10 years they still cannot decide a name for this decade. It was just a passing, but as I hit the hay for the night - that one line robbed me of slumber for a good hour.

First of all - why should we name any decade?? Time passes. Every minute we live is gone. And what we do in that particular minute or year sometimes alter the whole world, environment to a great extent. So we can think about doing something worthwhile - simply like avoiding Styrofoams utensils, using less paper towels etc to protect the environment. May be using less energy by less web time?? Yeah I guess that counts in too!

If at all they - whoever they are - are still thinking about naming this decade - My humble suggestion - How about A DECADE OF DECLINE? I do have my reasons, valid ones that you all will agree.

In this past ten years, I am noticing the following increasingly declining:

Moral Values - in personal life & business.
Honesty - in general. What is once considered dis honest is now cloaked as business tactics.
Modesty- Slutty seems to be the new fashionable.
Privacy - I don't see any privacy in common communication. People tend to discuss every little personal detail in public forums.

Not to mention the economic woes, poverty, war, natural disasters and the crime rate increases. What do we have to be proud of in the larger sense to name this decade? So why not a decade of Decline?

But once we live...

2009-11-20T16:14:00.000-08:00

We know neither where we came from nor where we are headed, but we are here, now and that's only once. May be we can say our origin is our parents. But that scientifically explained fact is still a mystery to me.

Life cycle, highs and lows with all the ups and downs never fail to baffle me. People, Human being - I consider a wonderful creation of God or supreme being tend to deviate from being human many a times. From my perspective - based on the understanding of life - not hurting a fellow human being, with words or deeds - can give a general peace. Simple, isn't it?

But today's world seem to think otherwise. An unsuspecting teen who answer's the knock on the door is shot. Spouses cheat on each other. Moral values are so old fashioned. Everywhere the wanting for more is so much.

So how and what do we achieve in our journey to nowhere?? What are we accumulating through this journey? Literature has called life a drama - we're all but players. Excuse me as much as I love literature, I beg to differ. Life is a great journey - that starts from the separation in womb, goes through multiple layers of separations until one fine day we separate from this world to we don't know where.

So as we are very faimiliar with the shortness, suddenness and unexpectedness of our departure to nowhere - don't you think we all should be happy to have a life as long as it lasts and spread the happiness and goodness around? Instead of making our lives a living hell for ourselves and the world at large??

From unexpected quarters...

2009-11-19T17:54:00.001-08:00

I had taken my car for an oil change this morning. A small nearby store with an aura of friendliness and good service. Ever since we moved here, we have always taken our car here. Instead of dropping off the car and walking back home, i decided to sit and read my newspaper in a corner while they worked on my car.

The gentleman in the store offered coffee which I gratefully accepted. And a nice warm cup of fresh coffee warrants conversation. I don't remember how we started about disciplining today's children, the feeling of entitlement that's so prevalent in today's children, the feeling of guilt in parents etc etc. he was telling me how his daughter successfully disciplines his grandchildren. And told me "I just gave my daughter one lesson, a lesson that was handed down to me by my dad - Never try to discipline your child when you are angry".

Wow I had a feeling of enlightment! I think as parents mom or dad - we try to do exactly that and cry foul if the children do not listen to us. That gentleman today told me that walking away from what might become a parent/child confrontation and approaching the situation with calm sensible questions and answers will make the child understand that parents mean business!! How very simple and true!! I have read many parenting books and I'm sure they all professed the same thing - but it never struck a note as it did today!

We learn life's important lessons from every single person we meet, that is if we care to look closely and understand!

A situation

2009-11-13T22:40:00.000-08:00

Should I call it delicate or tough??? Tell me someone!

We were taking a freeway from some exit today while driving back home. Out of no where my son made an inadvertent comment - this is the way we take to go home from my friend's place. Ah...we exchanged glances. Dad told the boy - you know they do not live there anymore. That ensued more questions. I determined to keep quiet for once.

Do they still live in this city? Why did they move out? Do they still live in California? Well I think its very hard to explain certain phases of life to very young children. Understanding separation, living with one parent and not getting to meet a friend - all these can add a lot of questions to inquisitive minds and may be a lot of fears even. So how to I tell my boy that his friend is in a particular phase in his parent's lives and that is why you don't get to meet him at all these days?

Pray some...

2009-11-12T20:56:00.000-08:00

I had to listen to few conversations in the past two days. Conversations that so disturbing about the intriguing inevitability. Yes, you guessed it right. The same inevitable we do not want to discuss, but always have at the back of our minds. About an accident and cancer...and death.

What really happens after death? This question nags me sleepless sometimes. Well accidents - any accident I come across in real life, or the accidents I hear about and read about always bring back memories of the dear one lost years ago. Couple of days ago a person was robbed of life in the middle of his biking on De Anza boulevard. Who can imagine what were his plans for lunch? Or where was he coming from at that fatal intersection? And what would be the predicament of the individual who had to be the cause of a fatality? I passed that spot about 2 hrs after that had happened. And travelled 16 years behind in memory - to the accident that changed my outlook on life. The exuberant young boy we lost in a similar fatality. Life does have a lot of quetions un answered.

Ah the conversations...two people I know were talking about one of their family member's over night nightmare dianosis and how that had categorically changed her life. A person who was considered very healthy one fine day is diagnoised with Stage 4 cancer. She is dealing with the blow - the whole family is systematically supporting her throu chemo and other gruelling things required.

Cancer doesn not stop its claws with older adults - a child barely 6 yrs old is going through life changing treatment for recovery. How very cruel it is for the parents to see their child suffer the pain and how agonizing....

And here we are complianing about the season and every day little things..I pray god to give me the Peace of mind with whatever he has blessed me with and the compassion to pray for those people who suffer. God, Give them the confidence to tide over and please Take care of them.

A heart breaking holiday.

2009-11-08T22:15:00.000-08:00

With veteran's day around the corner, my son was singing "No schooool Wednesday, we're ooofff". I asked him why do you think you have off on Wednesday. "Oh its veterans day mommy". next moment"Daddy what are we doing on Wednesday?"

Well again that was enough to set me off on a lecture on Veteran's day. Suddenly I realized the little mind was too cramped with information about World War II, Korean War, Vietnam War, War memorial that we visited in Washington DC and a lot of other stuff I was rattling off.

And now reading through today's Mercury News Local news section, I read about the San Francisco Veteran's day event and Google's VetNet. The magnanimity of those selfless people caught me dumbfound. I am able to sit in my room and type whatever i want to because some one is risking their lives to keep this nation fearless. We're able to wander around on the Golden Gate Bridge any time we want because some one again is braving hostile climates to protect our nation from those who might want to destroy us.

Dear GOD, I can only imagine the pain and agony of those parents, wives, brothers, sisters, children and friend's of those loved ones lost in war. Even to think of their losses is so heart wrenching. Those getting deployed to Afghanistan do not know if they are coming back. They still do not fear to go. And those who have come back from wars past have their lives irrevocably altered by what they saw and did in those wars.

I hope the magnanimity of veteran's day is not diminished by retailer's sale ideas. Now that this nation so diverse with immigrants culture, I wish someone takes the initiative to teach the children of today about the significance of Veteran's day. This is not just yet another holiday. Let us do some little thing, at least a little prayer to keep our people in uniform safe.

How Friendships work...

2009-11-05T15:44:00.000-08:00

I got rather an interesting fwded email today with the title:

"HOW FRIENDSHIPS BREAK ? "

This is what it said:

"Both Friends Will Think The Other Is Busy
And Will Not Contact Thinking It May Be Disturbing..
As Time Passes
Both Will Think Let The Other Contact
After That each Will Think Why I Should Contact First ?
Here Your Love Will Be Converted To Hate
Finally Without Contact The Memory Becomes Weak
They Forget Each Other."

Well as usual that unleashed scores of long locked away thoughts and memories! The fwd was rather interesting!

Life had taught me many lessons on friendships. And I had let many lessons pass through, without recognizing the impact. But a few lessons, I had learned the hard way and still learning - not intend to forget them ever - just to save some sanity! God has blessed me with few good friendships - and here is how I think friendships work.

Any friendship is a two way track! A railway track that is. We share, care and respect each other and stay together until the very end. Does not mean we have same interests, same faith or same kind of life. If we have same feelings for each other - thats what make us a nice railway track that can carry our friendship till our final destination.

Friendships are built on trust! Once we become friend's with some one, we do not let any other person sway our trust on our friend - somewhat similar to a marital bond. We trust each other.

Friendships are open! We need not pretend to our friend. If we start doing it - then the friendship doesnot exist there. If we have a question about or for the friend, we sld be able to discuss it in the open with the friend - and not talk about it to a third person.

When friendship is present between two individuals, Ego is absent. Friendship and Ego are mutually exclusive. We do not hurt our friends by words, actions and /or thoughts. If we inadvertantly do - we do not hesitate to say sorry.

And like my favorite poet Robert Frost says, we maintain our own fences - keep our space to ourselves and respect our friend's space. We do not encroach upon their cherished corner. Playing nosy poky and being possesive are sure fire ways to endanger a good friendship. "Good fences make good neighbors".

And yes, Friendships do need nurturing. But does not mean that those not nurtured die. Lives can take friends far away from each other. We can try to keep in touch. In this world of social networking, keeping in touch is not a tough issue at all. But what about those that are not touched by social networking kind of stuff?

I beleive, if we are able to be in touch with our friends - its great. But as machine of life churns on - we are barely left with time to deal with our everyday rumblings. So if we're out of touch with a friend for a long time and call suddenly one fine day - its pleasure that seeps through the conversation. We both feel happy about that call. We may not talk to each other for another year. In this case - the feelings of friendship does not die.

But when we as people nurture friendships in heart it does not die. But when we let ego take the reins, friendship takes back seat and rides too far away to return. God bless good friends.

திரும்பல்

2009-10-13T22:34:00.000-07:00

திரை கடலோடி திரவியம் தேடி
நிறைவான போதில் மகிழ்வான திரும்பல் ...
இத்தனை ஆண்டுகள் வாழ்கையின் சுவடுகள்
இனிமை நிறைந்த கானல் நினைவுகள்
புதிதாய் ஒரு வாழ்க்கை செய்ய
பழைய இடத்துக்கு நீண்ட பயணம்...
புதுமையும் பழமையும் அனுபவம் கொடுக்க
பழையதில் புதியதாய் ...
இருக்கும் சில மனதுகள் மட்டும்
இரண்டும் கெட்டான் உணர்வுக்குள் தவிப்பு.

Questions...questions...

2009-09-09T08:19:00.000-07:00

"Which was the first drop of water that made the ocean?

Is sami real?

Why does Hanuman have Rama and Sita in his heart? Why is he showing that? Does it mean Rama and Sita are lost?"

-These are a few question samples I get from my 6 yr old - right when we're rushing through our morning rituals to get in time for school. Any insightful answers anybody???

Drifting...

2009-09-04T13:22:00.001-07:00

Smetimes thoughts just drift by and sddenly there is a void. You loose track of what you were doing/thinking in that few secs. I don't really know how many have experienced such a state. But trust me - such voids, when we experience - feels kind of good. Consider it quaint, weird...I don't care.

Living a mechanical life most of the time, going through life's chores keeps us from the down time to "sit and stare". So getting into short voids of nothingness - be it through yoga, prnayam, meditation whatever or like me - simple drifting. Like it happened today. i picked up the phone, dialed a number and hit their machine. Suddenly I forgot who I dialed, switched off and just sat there, a be a few seconds. it was blank. With a child playing around me, half way thru cooking - i wa able to experience a quietness. Wow - felt good :)

To think of it the otherway - is my memory deteriorating??? or is it the early sign posts for alzheimers??? No clue. but i liked the quiet, the void, so comforting!!!

A journey through hell

2009-08-17T06:26:00.000-07:00

I am sure most of you are familiar with the journey from India to America - most specifically from Chennai to San Francisco. Just before we started from India we (my kids and me) attended a wedding in a temple city about 100 km from home. While driving back my son fell sick with food poisoning. After lots of medications and doctor visits we started our 8 hr drive to Chennai to fly to SFO in the same night. We had to make many stop overs for my son's sick needs. Poor little boy - he knew mom is worried sick about his condition and was trying to put a brave front for the journey.

He stopped vomiting right before we started for the airport. Praying that everything sld go fine, we boarded the plane. Kids were fine I was constantly watching the older one, while the younger was playing, and trying to watch TV, Due to some circuit problem all the 3 TVs on 39 K,J, H in SQ 16 was not working through the Journey. The journey had been pretty eventless until we boarded Seoul.

It was 11 hrs to SFO from Seoul and right after we boarded, my little one wanted food. None of us had eaten anything from Chennai, until Seoul, Save for the coffee and muffins I bought in Singapore airport. Not that they ate it there either. So I asked stewardess for food. Understandably, since we had just boarded they needed to get everything settled, heat the food before they can serve. Thank God they did not give food at that time. Because few minutes after my daughter started vomiting violently, nothing but water. The saliva water mixture was so forceful that we had borrow 7 blankets. She did 20 times. And the un controllable diarrhea. Man was it a crazy experience or what?

Attending to the sick child who throws up even water, answering older why sister is vomiting, worrying what kind of bug it might be, on top of it, flying over pacific - with still 10 hrs to reach land....That definitely was a journey through hell for me.

Oh Trichy...

2009-07-31T09:50:00.000-07:00

The distinct sounds and smells of Trichy haven't changed a lot, though Trichy has. For 10 years in the prime of life, Trichy had been my place, in 7 of which I woke up and looked at the Malaikkottai, everyday - everyday in an academic year that was. Oh how I loved this city - that had transformed me into who I am today, had taught, polished, gave a best friend, nurtured and hurt me a little in the process too...

To have lived away from home, in an all girls school/women's college and hostel for 7 years was at once a boon nad a bane. I loved and hated the initial years, but started loving it completely as I grew older. It was 1997 I came out of that city once and for all, after completing my education. Now revisitng, kindles so many sparks of memory. Many small stores that were are huge shops today. the streets I scaled so timidly as a school girl, walked in as a college student are kind of daunting. The crowd is the same, the Superbazaar parking is the same. Missed going to Magna's audios...and Dosa corner....

Walking down the memory lane and actually doing it does have a charm.

On Reading

2009-07-26T06:13:00.000-07:00

Ah...the pleasures of rediscovering old favourites.... I'm back in India for vacation and have lots of time to read to my hearts content. Really. Started of with Ponniyin Selvan, Kaviri Maindan. And now revelling on my fav Richard Bach, Daphane DuMaurier, Mitchell's Gone with the Wind, Henry James and Virginia Woolf. I love reading and re reading. Sometimes a new concept surprises me from a book I'm reading for 10th or so time. Especially I am revelling in the un disturbed eloquence of my books. Though I crave, I'm out of touch with the current in Literature. Eventually I should get back in touch with the new. Books gives me a giddy timeless pleasure!

On Marriage

2009-07-11T22:08:00.000-07:00

They say marriage is made in heaven. But marriages can sure be kept in heaven if the couple involved and people around follow few simple rules. From my experience, I wish I can tell my family and friends these when they enter the bond of matrimony.

For the Groom:
Remember You are taking the vow to walk with this girl for the rest of your life. She has had a completely different set up, being taken care of by parents until the day she entered your life. Her expectations may be high. You cannot satisfy all of her expectations but you will not loose anything by giving her a sympathetic ear and just listening to her or agreeing with her. This way you can reduce lot of misunderstandings early on. You'll also learn to agree on things you two disagree. When it comes to family's harmony learn to give in or give up gracefully. You might have dreams. Let your dreams unfold slowly into your life, with your wife.

For the Bride:
You are thrown into a completely new set up. The carefree young girl is going to be the woman of the house. your responsibilities are boundless. You of course cannot do everything right. No one expects it of you either. Just wait, listen and do whatever you have to do in your new family. You are not expected to blend into the family immediately. Take your time, one step at a time and learn to understand and respect the differences in the new family which eventually will become yours.

For Both:

Always respect both the parents.
Never complain about one set of parents between both of you.
Whatever happens within the four walls of your house, stays with you. DO NOT SHARE YOUR PERSONAL DIFFERENCES, TINY FIGHTS WITH RESPECTIVE PARENTS. Because you both can forget it in next few days and continue normal life, but the information will be blown out of proportion by loving, possessive parents.
You can share your happy moments with parents - to give them the satisfaction that you are living happy.

For parents:
These are your children. But these are two different grown individuals. You had brought them together. Let them figure out life together. if they come to you with complaints, please tell them its their life and they have to figure out. DO not start giving out unsolicited or solicited advices to your daughter or son. if you do, you are inadvertently causing a rift between. Because as the girl's or boys parents we will only sympathise with our child, no matter what they say. So our advices can get very subjective to the extent of hurting their life of togetherness. Stay away for the whole first year and you will see them happy and together for the rest of their lives.

Kindergarten memories

2009-06-12T23:49:00.000-07:00

My son brought a bound folder from his last day of school today. With his picture taken on the first day of school on the cover page, and cute, thought provoking projects he did in his school through out the year. As I was browsing through the book, I felt little tears welling up in the eye.

You know its not out of sadness or its not the feeling that he is growing up now what? - I cannot quiet place why, but it was like looking through this past school year since September. A chubby, bubbly, very unsure 5 year old, evolving into a tall, bony, active 6 year old. He looks so like a baby in the first photo and the last one, taken almost at the end of the year makes him look so grown up.

As i read through the things he had written - oh I am just unable to find right words to express the feelings gushing through. Some are downright funny - like the one "What would you do if you were the President of United States?" "I will fix all the holes on the road with tar so the cars can run" and about his field trip to the farm etc. His observation about the "stinky" goat did make me laugh out loud!

Its great his teacher took the extra time to collect photos from various school activities, collect worksheets from class, save them until the year end, get them bound for the kids...I am sure I'll save this Kindergarten Memories and share with my son when he is older, and has little time to share with mama.

A Daughter's Dilemma

2009-06-08T22:45:00.000-07:00

Do thoughts travel faster than light? if yes, then mine are. oh yes, going back home...hey wait a minute...what did you think just now? Going back "home" eh? What do you mean? If you call the place you live home, then your home is right here, where you are sitting in front of the monitor and typing away to glory. Then what do you refer to as "home"? Well I meant going back to my parent's home - to kick back and relax after two grueling years of being a full time mom, student, working, getting laid off, making social calls, volunteering on and off at kid's school - not to mention the cooking, cleaning, trips to doctor appointments etc, I do think I am going to kick back and relax, during my vacation back home - there I go again, back at my parent's home.

So what am i expecting to do there in the two short months? I want to make my mom sit and cook for her, talk to her, most of all relate to her as any adult daughter would. Make her fell good. Will this happen? I don't know. In turn my mom might want to do all the pampering to me. I want to make my dad sit with me and enjoy the grandkids. I want my parents- in- law just to have a relaxed time with the kids and enjoy them as they are with no innuendos.

meanwhile I also should make sure the kids are healthy, safe etc. Want to do little shopping. Well the list goes on and on. Would I feel "home" the same way I did couple of years ago or am I going to miss my "home"?

Air France

2009-06-05T00:19:00.000-07:00

"This type of tragedy should give us all a lesson in humility and humanism," she said. "No one lives forever. We often forget that."

It was a totally full flight and a couple tried moving mountain and earth to get seats in it. But as fate would not have them perish that day, they were denied the seats. The woman grateful to be alive today talks an immense sense of timeless truth. Indeed in her own words, NO ONE lives forever and we often forget that.

I shudder as I try to imagine the 220 souls that perished in we know not what - fire? air? water? One of the elements for sure. yes they are relieved from the miseries of the world and let us hope they had a quick release at that, with no time to endure pain, fear or anxiety. God Bless their souls. And let the world realize life after all is a delicate bubble, floating in the air. And of course the bubble can burst anytime.

Talking of Spelling bee - Ramya Auroprem!

2009-05-29T00:56:00.000-07:00

Way to go Ramya!

Just yesterday (or was it way before?) I was reading about the neurosurgeon syndrome in the Spelling bee finalists! And a girl from the CTA family, Ramya had just qualified for semifinals! http://abclocal.go.com/kgo/story?section=news/local/south_bay&id=6835652&rss=rss-kgo-article-6835652

God bless her and lets wish Ramya success.

And if I can ask you, Ramya what is your aspirations for the future? Whatever it is - Good Luck and God Bless you.

Aspirations - Our kids - Any idea?

2009-05-26T22:51:00.000-07:00

My friend today suggested may be I am getting old as I always seem to contemplate on serious stuff. I really do not want to comment on it :). Well may be being a mom in an all competitive world has a hand in making me serious? Seriouly - oops there I go again :) I do love to laugh a lot and can never pass a chance to laugh out loud like reading Dubukku 's blogs or watching a funny AFV etc. Still this news article in today's yahoo kindled my thoughts - well as you guessed it, fears as a mother.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090526/ap_en_tv/us_spelling_bee_indian_neurosurgeons

6 Indian American kids in the past 10 years have become spelling bee champions. Wow a great achievement indeed. I am always amazed at the spelling bee contest so much so that I stopped watching that from last year. I really could not bring myself to understand the total uncanny perception these wonder kids have about a the spelling. (I must confess - I do depend a lot on spell check, auto correct etc etc for my spellings).

Now three spelling bee champions want to become neurosurgeons. They are mostly 5th and 6th graders. But still they have their future all mapped out to the finest career choice. God Bless them.

Going a little bit backward in my meory lane, I remember my son wanting to be a Trash truck Driver, Mail man, Astronaut, and while visiting in Monerey Bay Aquarium, he really really wanted to be a diver/fish feeder in the acquarium. After listening to a few more careers he wanted to choose, I got too worried and stopped asking him about it.

I don't know if my kids ever step on the spelling bee contest podium - not that I wish for - but I wonder what would be their career choices a few years from now.

California faces its day of fiscal reckoning

2009-05-22T15:03:00.000-07:00

"This is the harsh reality and the reality that we face. Sacramento is not Washington — we cannot print our own money. We can only spend what we have."-Schwarzenegger.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090522/ap_on_re_us/us_california_day_of_reckoning

Oflate I seem to read only about drastically painful fiscal state of California state. Is there a intelligent fincial analyst or politician to plan an economic revival? God save the world.

The Shadow

2009-05-22T00:27:00.000-07:00

As recession deepens, I feel a shadow, the shadow of fear dampen our lives in this Land of Opportunity, Freedom and Safety. As the opportunities dwindle, freedom and safety seem to vanish in thin air too.

Until recently I was so unafraid to go to Safeway after 11:00 PM, grab a cup of Java from Starbucks and browse through the aisles, just to wind down, relax and shop in peace for weekly groceries. Now, I do not want to step out after dark. Some strange sense of insecurity prevails. My husband calls me insane sometimes. I don't know.

Just yesterday, California Governor is announcing serious cuts on Education, Health care and Law Enforcement. Like a color blind person searching for a black cat in the darkness, the government is trying to grapple with the 21 Billion budget deficit. But is this decision or proposal to cut on the heart of Future and nerve of today wise?? What happened to the priorities? Or is the strongest claws of recession disable us and misplace the priorities?

Think , Think, Think...

A little life...

2009-05-21T13:18:00.000-07:00

Reading news paper everyday is a habit I grew up with ever since childhood. As a child and youngster I don't think I have ever worried about anything else except latest news, gossip and may be book reviews. Those days Hindu Sunday paper used to have a literary supplement or some such thing, Tuesday paper had a boxed column that teaches English expressions. Beyond that Young world puzzles and comic strips are all I can remember reading.

Now my relationship with Mercury News is little different. I do not know if I should attribute to age, maturity - I am well aware that age and maturity do not correspond with each other many times :), or a change in outlook on life. I do not miss Roadshow, action line and letters to the editor. Also, I do spend a little time of Obituary.

Call me weird or crazy I pause and read Obituaries in the West Valley section. There are always little write ups on the life stories of people. Most of them, from all walks of life, born from all parts of the world, had lived well. But today's Obituary shocked me well beyond compare. A little boy, Stephen, Nov 06 to May 09, Bless his soul, has passed away. His sweet sunny photo and the write up really was very moving. I tried to visualize the parents pain. Though we have an experience of a loss in the early days of marriage and in mid pregnancy, I cannot comprehend the pain. God Bless the parents.

புரியாத கேள்வி தெரியாத பதில்

2009-05-20T14:23:00.000-07:00

ஜனனிக்கும் பொழுதே
குறிக்கப்படும் மரணத்தின் நேரம்.
எங்கோ என்றோ சேதிகள் எல்லாம்
யாரோ ஒருவர் ரகசியக்குறிப்பில்...

எங்கோ பிறந்தோம் வளர்ந்தோம்
வேர்கள் விட்டு வேறிடம் தேடி
கல்வி கேள்வி பிரிவுகள் கடந்து
வாழ்க்கை படகில் சுகமாய் அலைந்தோம்

என்ன செய்தோம் எப்படி வாழ்ந்தோம்
காலம் என்ற கானல் நிஜத்தில்
நினைவுகள் மட்டும்
நிரந்தர சுகமாய்... சுமையாய் ...

எங்கு போவோம் எப்படி போவோம்
கேள்விகள் உள்ளே அடித்திட அலையாய்
பதில்கள் கிடையா அமைதியின் சத்தம்
செவிப்பறைக்குள்ளே நிரந்தர வாசம்.

Elusive enigma

2009-05-13T20:34:00.000-07:00

Being a woman myself, I have always wondered what a fathomless passage a woman's heart is. Can any one, including the woman herself ever understand the thought process her mind/heart is involved in?? I wonder.

Fear not my friend, I'm not doing a self examination here! Its just the frustrated output of a fruitless endeavor I was involved involuntarily in over the past two weeks. When a family is distorted, I feel sad and the typical 'do gooder' monster hiding way deep inside starts showing up with a flashing message "You can do something, try try try try try..." When the cry gets too much, yours truly springs into action with full energy, only to spring back into the shell all confused, manipulated and frustrated.

I thought I can be really honest with myself and sincere to another friend, to understand the issues. But looks like I am totally lost. You know when there is a path to reconciliate, if some one does not want to re conciliate what can you - the third person do? You do not agree with that person's way of life. Can you let your values be infringed?

Wow we hear so much about men's inability to understand women's thoughts. So true. Its only an elusive enigma. A royal mirage. The closer you get, the farther you feel.

NBA players, the modern day Gladiators?

2009-05-08T21:42:00.000-07:00

How physical is too physical in the Basketball game? - The players are getting too physical in the 2nd round of play offs. I am not a great game watcher, but would love to watch the game, if Lakers play whenever possible with my son and husband - both Lakers fanatics. My son, an aspiring basketball player, though only 6 years old - is all too familiar with teams, kind of fouls, and other intricate nuances of the game, I am still working on to decipher.

Yesterday it was Derek Fisher. He elbowed another Rockets player for standing behind him and got suspended in today's game. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Y8CzEjNVJw

Today its a Rockets player, Artest, desperate of their loss pushed Pau Gasol down. Another Flagrant foul. Though Kobe and my pro people think this today's foul is not flagrant, that player seems to face suspension for the next game. http://www.rotoworld.com/content/playerpages/playerbreakingnews.asp?sport=NBA&id=620&line=115517&spln=1

I am kind of reminded of Gladiator's and Russel Crowe - you know the only Gladiator face I could relate to :). In ancient Rome, the all too powerful Kings had colosseum and Gladiators to entertain the public and to punish those the Kings wanted to punish. The Gladiator game seemed to have attracted huge mass and was very cruelly physical.

In today's modern sophisticated world, we ofcourse cannot have Gladiators. But we all still might have our barbaric past hidden somehwere in our Freudian SuperEgo. I guess thats why we have these oh so physical NBA's NFL's etc etc. I am NOT trying to demean the importance of sports and team work. But what gets to me is the hidden barbarism. The players pushing each other so hard to win a title. The coaches not letting a seriously hurt player rest, like Yao Ming's coach did today. How much it would have hurt Yao's parent to see their son hop through the court in pain. His knee was badly hurt, even I could descern it on screen.

My son does love basketball and dreams big to be on Lakers team and play in NBA. But as a mom would I want my son to be there? I don't know.

Mother's day blues?

2009-05-07T23:15:00.000-07:00

I got a cute, all scribbles over, colorful, funny to read hat book today from my older one. it started something like this "My mommy wears lot of different hats..." He had written about things I had taught him, cooked for him and enjoyed with him. What interesting observation and funny imaginations these 6 year olds have. Ouch 6 years??? is it already 6 years?

Life seems to be flying on a wings. It was just like yesterday, a warm Friday afternoon my little one greeted the world. And its three years! All my visits to emergency units, urgent care, frantic calls to pediatricians, midnight runs to pharmacies, everything seems so distant. In spite of a most dramatic infancy and toddlerhood, this little girl never stops to amaze me with her resiliance, curiosity and enthusiasm.

Its interesting to see her hold conversations with adults in the haircut shop, libraries and grocery stores. Is the fearless attitude an attribute of infancy or a sample of character? The abundance of love she showers on us is one of the two things that keeps me going on the mommy job with endless appointments, chauffeuring, play dates and 'oh no baby because you are 2nd, I am not spending enough time with you' guilt trips.

A toothy grin, a warm hug, some sloppy kisses and 'mommy you look cute' dialogues - ahh... "God is in his heaven and all is well with the world"

Thank God for children, they make the world livable.

First Indian Woman to go on Ski Expedition in South Pole and North Pole

2009-04-26T22:38:00.000-07:00

Saraswathy(Sara) Kameswaran, skiied on both the Poles in the year 2007. She was a self funded Indian from Tamilnadu. She was the First ever Indian woman to ski on both the Poles in the same year.

Without a deft agent to publicize her historic feat, Sara completed her achievement as quietly as the person she is. She is simply happy to have made it.

http://www.polarexplorers.com/ExpeditionTracker2007.htm#SP1deg

http://www.icetrek.com/index.php?id=729

Skiing in the Pole is just not like skiing on the Heavenly slopes in Lake Tahoe or Aspen slopes in Colorado. You need a special combination of dream, determination and grit to brave the below zero tempratures and to carry your own food & excrements.

Now the whole web world is ablaze with a news item on Reena Kaushal - another Indian woman - as the First Indian Woman "preparing" to go to the South Pole in 2010. God bless Reena with a safe passage and completion. But, Sara already did it in 2007. You know because Reena is going with a commonwealth all women team, and she has proper planning and publicizing agent and her guide is so fiercely protective and assures that Reena is going to be the first Indian Woman - can the fact that Sara did both the Poles in 2007 be nullified?

The Indian media, even the media in Tamilnadu is not interested in talking about the First Tamil Woman who did this historic feat. People say, with access to internet, the world is at your finger tips and you can contact any one you want. This is not practically true. You can email thousands of individuals, unless they decide to read that email or respond to that mail, you do not know if your case is heard, leave alone being considered.

I am looking for a miracle to happen, so the world or at least India will know Sara did both the poles in the same year in 2007.

Socializing - A trick or a treat?

2009-04-25T22:35:00.000-07:00

I got into an interesting discussion about my socializing habits! A friend was able to provide a critical point of view. "looks like you have friends or acquaintances in every street around here, thats why when we plan the week ends, you are always not able to join in". I was kind of preparing for a defensive argument, but my practical self pointed out - I dont have to defend my friendship and acquaintances to some one else. But can you let go a statement like that without airing your opinion? After all its about you isnt it? So I did not let go.

I am sure we all agree humans are essentially social animals. Especially after building a nest to roost in a country very far from where we are born, very far from where our families and childhood friendships live - we need to build a social circle. For us to talk, share and for the children to have an introduction to a family like settings and meet different people.

Initially Birds of a feather flocks together. After we are out and about - that essentially means, after becoming parents and kids start school, we get to meet people from other nationalities and get to know them. When the kids becomes friends, some simple getting to know evolves into good friendships. Our social circle develops. Essentially living in the bay area introduces us with a wonderful opportunity to meet with people from all around the world. Even since my first one started Pre School, I was lucky to know American, Indian, Korean, Vietnamese, Japanese, Mexican and British moms. Basically we are all moms. We had Wednesday play groups where our children played in a a park after Pizza lunch, and we exchanged food from all our different kitchens. The bonding was great and I understood, languages and culture can be poles apart - but the MOM feeling is the same, as well as the Woman feeling. I would say I gained a better perspective as a mom and a wife from my friends from this play group, rather than I lost "my"time.

Ofcourse when you are part of a group, and the kids are friends - some of your weekends are not yours. you have to attend Birthday parties - for your child's sake. Little compromises or if you want to call it sacrifices - are important part of making new friends. I am sure giving your child the opportunity to move in multi ethnic, multi cultural environment - gives them the comfrtability early on to deal with multi ethnic group of peers later on in their lives.

So when my friend told me I missed out (actually we did not "miss") on specific activities because I had other social events - like Birthday parties - I could not agree. For one - I want to give my kids all the experiences of living in bay area. So we do camping and other seasonal sports as a recreation - once or twice during the season. Numer two, I do not want to do it every week. Its as simple as that. Letting my son his friends in social events - sometimes specific to his own age group is also important to me.

And yes, instead of one best friend or whatever I have a few good friends. I cannot stand pretentious friendships. "Genuine" is what I look for and give to my friends. So when the wavelength match with a certain aquaintence - we let it develop to the next level - friendship. Its not like me or the friend involved do anything un natural and go over board to "create" a fiendship. On yeah, Friendships can never be created. They should happen. At the same time we need to nurture it with care. Its like a two way traffic. When all the communication is done by one person and the other person wants to keep quiet and take you for granted, I would not call it friendship. So with good friendship, though we loose some of "our" weekend times, we do gain poeple, genuine people to love and nurture and to be loved and nurtured in turn.

So I guess making a friendship and socializing a trick or treat is very much in our hands. What do you think?

Oh the twist and turns...

2009-04-22T22:54:00.000-07:00

Sometimes the twists and turns bewilder us beyond comprehension. When a simple logic goes berserk and metamorphoses into something else beyond compare what can you do? Just start blogging? Right. That's exactly what I am doing.

My good friend Sara(Saraswathy Kameswaran) did something great - she went on a self funded ski expedition to Both the South Pole and North Pole in 2007. The Poles skiing community knew she was the first Indian woman to do this amazing feet. But she did not get the recognition from neither the Indian government nor the media. thinking back now - though we contacted the media, we never contacted the political powerhouse to inform. Now the whole web is ablaze with the news about first Indian woman "preparing" to go to South Pole in 2010. How interestingly funny is it? What a great twist of facts? In spite of getting in touch with the news agency that is spreading the current news, and the person who is planning to guide this 2010 team, we did not hear from anybody about the 2007 achievement my friend did. I feel it is an in justice to my friend's achievement. I am now reaching out to the popular bloggers to write about Sara. But who knows if her achievement will be recognized?

Sometimes what we think is true turns out to be sadly not so. Sometimes we are so sure of the path that can take us to the destination we need to reach. Often times we are not even sure of the destination we want to go, how to select a path - so twisted with many darker turns??

Totally unconnected to Sara's achievement, I have this other thing that bothers me. Sometimes when I see people I know talk about separation, I am dumbfounded. I cannot think coherently. I believe marriage is a bond, sealed with love and trust. Also I believe is giving the spouse a space, with trust. The beauty, friendship, love and care - not to mention the little fights, that bind the marriage are irreplaceable.

How ever is it possible to live alone after growing to live together over the years? After sharing everything that we consider sacred, after trusting for so many years, the spouse becomes so much a part of our being isn't it? We even learn to talk, think and act like them in some ways. So when I hear the impossible - I get shocked. In any culture - when a man and woman come together under a sacred promise - does it not mean they go on forever? Is it that very hard to talk together and iron out the wrinkles? I am aware that no two individuals can live like "one". Its total myth. But I am sure the two individuals involved in a marriage - can mutually agree to disagree on the things they individually do not like?

பாட்டு

2009-03-30T15:55:00.000-07:00

கொஞ்ச நாட்களாய் தமிழ் பாட்டு கேட்பதே இல்லாமல் போயிருந்தது. மாடர்ன் மியூசிக் என்ற பேரில் ஒரே காட்டுக்கத்தல் தான் நிறைய இருந்தது, இல்லன்னா அர்த்தகளே புரியாமல், வார்த்தைதளின் அர்த்தம் வேற ரொம்ப கொடுமையாய் ...

இப்போ தான் இந்த பாட்டு கேட்டேன். சுப்ரமணியபுரம் படத்தில "கண்கள் இரண்டால்"...ரொம்ப சுகமான மெல்லிய இசை. இனிய வார்த்தைகள். ரொம்ப அழகு.இதயம் நுழைந்து இறகால் தடவும் இனிமை. வேணும்னா நீங்களும கேட்டுப்பாருங்க. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WNZHjGWjKis

Dependencies

2009-03-26T21:34:00.000-07:00

Dependency has a special connotations for those non working ( I mean not working for money, outside home) women. Me being one of them, apart from" that" special kind of dependency, I am talking about being a nucleus family in the United states or anywhere else, away from where we have our extended family. Where just as a foursome or threesome, any family with children - have to depend on our friends one time or another for help, to take care of the children in some situations. When I lived back in India - for my aunts and uncles - baby sitting was never a problem. They had thier parent's homes or siblings homes to drop the children at moments notice to go somewhere or take a break from monotonous routine, even.

But here, when we have dependent children - not in school we have to look for baby sitters even to make a dentist appointment. I do not know about others. But, With two children aged 6 and 3, I am always looking for an impromptu baby sitters for my children. You know what comes naturally - getting the grandma over to help for simple things - always remains a wishful thought. My man had to undergo surgery two times. First when I had my little one inside (then I only had to make arrangement for my first one, then three yrs old).

The funny part is, First time I had enlisted a friends help to drive my husband home after the surgery. When were in the surgi center, the friend who was supposed to drive - had to rush his wife to labor & delivery. I ended up being the driver! Not that I didnt know driving. But being pregnant I was little nervous! But I managed. Now when having both the kids out - I feel completely dependent on friends. The timings did not work for the usual baby sitter. (she is only doing part time when her kids are at school) .

I feel so excruciatingly humiliated (just like a cockroach - this insect never feels obviously bad though - encroaching on your kitchen) when I have to ask a friend to take care of our daughter/son so very frequently. But then I am not blessed with a very quiet child either. She is a perfect little curious george. A loud one at that. We do not go on a date leaving the children behind. We are always in the urgent care or emergency or on a doc appointment. So, Apart from being in the hospital - on an average of 3 times a week, enlisting peopel to help - not that they grudge, feels so bad. I wish God never keeps me in a position to go ask for help - baby sitting help, I mean.

Pain

2009-03-26T21:25:00.000-07:00

Every little moments
Passing through as minutes...
Taking along the hours
Pushing through the days...

We pass by many a gains
Sometimes lots of pains.
In a far off land - where
Nucleus family holds the wand

Life's magic creates
A rainbow of colors -
Sometimes only a muddy brown persists!
Oh too many tears.

Last name

2009-03-06T16:05:00.000-08:00

When did people start using last names? And why? probably I can find answers in wikipedia or history of cultural evolution. But every time I read a news article in Yahoo or in Mercury news, whenever they mention a name from a country where having a last name is neither a cultural thing or a social necessity, they say ----, "who goes by one name only" . What is the significance to the readers to know if the person has "one name only?". Is it some way of putting down the other part of the world where people always have just the given name and live just fine and happy as everyone else?

I see all kind of funny last names - Winehouse is for example is a last name of a celebrity. Sometimes the meaning makes me laugh. But I still do not understand why the so called very important news organizations like AP or Reuters, when reporting even a serious news item, pause to mention "goes by one name only".

காதல்

2009-03-02T23:32:00.000-08:00

நீல வானம் நிறைய மேகம்
சின்ன சாரல் சிறிதே வெளிச்சம்
கண்கள் தடவும் தென்றல் காற்று
அழிந்தும் அழியா வான வில்
அழகிய மாலை ....
அழைத்திடும் வேளை
துணை வரும் காதல் - இனி
தொடு வானம் கூட
தொட்டிடும் தூரம்....

Medicine medicine everywhere...

2009-03-02T22:56:00.000-08:00

Coleridge in his Ancient Mariner wrote "water water everywhere, not a drop to drink". For my family its been 'medicine medicine everywhere not a drop to miss' for the past ten days. I am so done with all the urgent care visits, doctor appointments, late night runs to pharmacy etc.

But this simple sufferings at home almost always brings back the fear of a profound. And of course all the thoughts about people in my life who suffered a lot. I wish God never created all these sickness in first place after all. One grandma suffered broken limbs and back until the last breath. Other grandma battled cancer until finally put to rest. A cousin eternally suffered - ( the family too) 'coz of unknown problems in her brain, and passed away way too early. What are the reasons for all their sufferings?

I have a read a lot about people going through living hell with pain, severe illnesses and a few other stuff I cannot bring myself to write about. But why? As we believe God is the creator, protector and destroyer of human kind - why go through sufferings in between?

New York - Maddison Square Gardens

2009-02-17T10:30:00.000-08:00

We went to New York city yesterday and tasted both the ends the city is so very famous for. The elegance and creepiness. With all those awe inspiring sky scrapers, the city looks so cramped with soooooooo very well dressed people always hurrying everywhere.

But we did encounter the muggers. My basketball fan son wanted to see the Maddison square garden stadium, home to the New York knicks. So after getting out of Penn station we headed down the quiet alley towards the back of the building. lesson No: 1, in New York, never step near any where quiet. With all due respect to all the people in the world, for the color, race and country, I got terribly scared as the two men standing near the stair way (in the back entrance of Maddison Square garden) approached us. It was a quiet alley, with a huge entrance and only stairs to climb up. No way to transport a stroller. We stopped and asked my husband to take my basketball crazy boy, who was already gazing so reverently at the buildin up to show him the stadium.

With formidable grin, one of the asked, "do you want me to lift your strollers up the stairs for 20 bucks?" We were a group of 4 adults and 4 children. And my BIL is been living in the east for about 12 years now. But even he couldn't decipher the look. We said "no" politely but firmly. Nevertheless he started going near our kids. We started walking as fast as we could with pounding hearts toward the exit. My husband was half way up the stairs with my boy, he rushed down and we literally ran out. As we headed out, the men started laughing and called us back telling us "we dropped something down". Until we reached 5th avenue, none of us spoke - all terrified. I shudder to imagine the worst, but who even visit New york, please stay in busy streets. never go near an alley or any person sitting alone. It definitely is NOT safe at all. And did I mention my son never got to see the stadium close?

Singapore Airlines

2009-02-11T07:43:00.000-08:00

Singapore Airlines, the almost only airlines that has everyday flying service to Chennai from San Francisco had been something like Comcast. Monopolizing the Asia Pacific region to connect North America's West Coast with the Asia Pacific Region. They had very little, if any competition until recently. Fixing up the airfares sky high for summer and all peak holiday seasons. We immigrants from India and South East Asia with families still back there in our respective countries buy the ticket no matter what the airlines fix the ticket fare to be. And during the peak travel periods (inspite of fuel costs, airport taxes etc) ticket prices were always at least $400 to $500 higher than their normal flying fares.

I guess no one has really thought about that, as getting together with family must have weighed in the travel than money involved. Even when the fuel sells for the same and the airport taxes are the same, no pragmatic traveler to APAC regions have ever questioned or voiced out their rate hikes. Because we all know that's how the Singapore Airlines can do business and make profit to offer world class service to the customers, of course.

Now we have a competitor. Cathay Pacific. To be very statistical, Cathay Pacific is offering SFO to Chennai $1560 to SQ's $1840 for June 12th to July 2nd. July 3rd Cathay's tickets are $1270 and SQ is still $1640. My humble math skills suggest it is almost $400, a whooping $400 difference on the ticket to the same destination.

Agreed Singapore airlines is connecting bay area people with families back there in the Indian subcontinent and East Asia for a long long time. Agreed their service is great. Their food is excellent. They can/should have a difference in airfare for their quality. A little higher like $100 or so is fine. We can take it. But $400 difference?? What do you all think?

I, for example am locked now for this summer's travel with Singapore airlines. because I bought my tickets way too early. here I need to tell how I HAD To buy the tickets just a three days earlier before Cathay had slashed the rates. I was working with a travel agent. I requested to wait until a certain Monday to purchase my tickets. But she suggested she CANNOT re block my dates again and I HAVE to purchase the three tickets in Singapore Airlines that very week itself. Or I'll be wait listed again. I told her in my own words that I WANTED to go to India. So there you go I got trapped by words and feelings. Lessons learned:

Never let the travel agent know that you NEED to go to India on a certan date.
Always shop around with several travel agents before buying tickets.

Because after all selling tickets are their livelihood. Their first priority is their profits and Not us, the un suspecting mortals looking for tickets. So shop around with agents and be DEMANDING. Never succumb to agent's sale strategy.

Getting back to Singapore Airlines saga, I did approach them with my cause. Even quoted their competitor has reduced rates as much as $400 per ticket. And requested some compensation in cancellation. And asked them are they willing to o anything for me as a customer. I did get a response. Their customer service representative, Tan Shu Yan, was very courteous and nice in snubbing. The response was very nice and very diplomatic but DID NOT serve any purpose except their own.

Nevertheless I responded to let them know how I feel. My final email was like this:

Hello Tan Shu Yan,

Thank you for your email and I do appreciate your time.

I totally understand you cannot waive your cancellation completely. At this point I am going to travel in Singapore airlines for the planned dates. But am I a satisfied customer? NO, of course not.

May be keeping ONE customer happy and offering some compromise is not important to Singapore Airlines. I know you cannot keep everybody happy if you want to run a successful business. But meeting somewhere in the middle, to do something that benefits both the business and the client always goes a long way in keeping customer loyalty.

May be in future I would opt for other airlines with much better rates to and from the same destination. When hard economy hits, that will be the case, when people have options to shop around, they only look for competitive airfare. The mistake I did was to book the tickets well in advance. I have learned a mighty good lesson from my mistake.

Again Thank you very much for taking the time to respond.

Sincerely,

However I do not expect anything to happen. But with the very good intentions of letting the people in the bay area benefit from my experience and loss with Singapore Airlines, I think I have a moral responsibility to express my experience.

Now instead of loosing $750 in cancellation charges for three tickets as my moral self suggests, I am going to travel Singapore airlines this summer to India. But next time I am sure to shop around (with different travel agents too) for the best air fare and wait to buy my tickets.

So welcome Cathay Pacific. Let your competition with Singapore airlines be a healthy one. In your competition let all of us - Singapore Airlines, Cathay Pacific and "us" people who make it possible for you to run your business successfully, benefit from that competition.

"Cheney warns of new attacks"

2009-02-04T08:45:00.000-08:00

A news article in yahoo caught my attention this morning and make me wonder. This Cheney was the VP for 8 years and as soon as his political rival takes office and tries something different, he gives a Statistical reports of terrorists and warns the country of another attack.

Is he sending out to the terrorists now that Bush administration is long gone, they can try and attack US once more? What kind of mindless interview is that? After being in the high office for so long, would anybody talk so irresponsibly?

A chill through the spine.

2009-01-29T16:00:00.000-08:00

Was reading the newspaper this morning. It was sunny out side with a mild chill. One of the blessings of California. As I turned my second page, this news caught my attention. A 93 year old veteran froze to death. A frantic search online gave all the chilling details. The whole scene in Kentucky and Arkansas looks like a part of "Day After Tomorrow", the movie that portrays a steady freezing of America.

Apparently this veteran had money, but must have had slipping memory. His electricity bills had about $1000 unpaid balance over past 4 months, so the local Bay City Municipal electricity worker had installed a meter that shuts off electricity after certain usage. And this poor soul had no clue. How monstrous can that be??????? I am at a loss of words to explain the inhuman treatment toward this aged veteran. If they look into his billing history he had never had any late payments or defaults. he was living alone with no children and wife being passed away two years earlier. I am completely sad. Strangely I think of people back home in India - there too the neighborly, humane attitude is slowly dying if not already dead. So is it the whole world becoming a totally selfish, inhuman society?

On top of this a news article suggested people in those parts of US with heavy snow and snow storm (over a million) might have to live with no power until mid February. Oh my God, it hurts even to imagine. I remember way back in 2002, we had a power outage for about 3 or 4 hours. I was pregnant with my first child. We ha no food to eat and i still shudder to remember my husband frantically driving through the rain looking for food for me. Now How many moms are pregnant there? how many infants need warm milk or simply water to drnk? how many elderly need heat to keep warm? Oh to think of all the basic necessities...How ever can this happen? We call America the most advanced nation in the world.

Inspite of many of the states going bankrupt, we are able to offer $40,000 for civilians killed in Afghanistan. How are we going to handle this dire life and death situation caused by extreme weather conditions? I wish the governemnt makes plans and acts immediately to bring relief to the people in pain and cold.

Simple Pleasures.

2009-01-26T12:32:00.000-08:00

Travel through the time zones
Looking beyond the horizons
searching for a light
through many sickening blights
we forget-
Life's most memorable treasures
Are the simple everyday pleasures.

Hope

2009-01-22T12:04:00.000-08:00

On a floral path pushing thorns aside
Glides a gentle thought as the snakes slide-
With a venomous force a hissing raise
Blocking the serene mind with an awful noise.

When gripping fear seems very near
The terrified mind searches for a dear-
A ray of hope like a seeping sunshine
Brings a moment of peace when darkness reign.

Great Expectations

2009-01-22T09:34:00.000-08:00

Past presents knowledge never learned
Present fills with a void of wants ...
Future beckons with elusive illusions.
The flow of life seems to falter
at wants un met and deeds un done.
Slumber brings dreams which
pragmatic mind dispels away...
Greater the expectations, bitter the frustrations.

Watching moments of history - January 20, 2009.

2009-01-20T08:41:00.000-08:00

As I am watching moments of history unfold digitally in front of me. I just couldn't help but write down my thoughts. One of the most moving, best orchestrated (I wouldn't call it once in a life time 'coz Obama is paving a way for many new firsts) inauguration ceremony for Mr. Barack Obama. With greater expectations does he take charge today. I watch it with mixed feelings of exhilaration and skepticism.

Welcome Obama and God Bless you, the Country you are going to preside over and the World at large.

Mr. President -The expectations are higher, making your job tougher. As much as excited about your arrival to America's presidency I am as much worried about all the looming problems that are going to shower on you, along with our best wishes for you. The favorite chant "Yes, We can" only gives me a hope to look into the future with warming thoughts that Yes, of course we can cross all that had caused a deep gash in the American spirit. We have our Hope and Confidence in a better tomorrow.

Let the country flourish, Let the world bloom into a better place and let humanity reign supreme.

Pongal - Walk down the memory lane...

2009-01-14T16:14:00.000-08:00

Pongal starts at least a week ahead of the real day in my village when I was little. My dad buys a bunch of Pongal Vaazhthukkal (greeting cards) and me and my sister sign every one them and send them out to every one of our cousins and friends. I wonder even in those days of hardship my dad took the time to teach us the value of maintaining relationships and remembering them every pongal time. Thank you dad, for all the values you had taught us.

My mom, athai and grandma will clean all the anda kundas at home including all the unused pathiram pandam. Those were the days our palm roof bungalow had a mud floored living room! The older women use mattu chani and kari (coal power, what do you call mezhuhal?) to tharai mezhuhal, two days before pongal day. On Bohi night comes the biggest decoration ever, drawing makkolam on the blacked, newly chani mezhuhia floors. Man the beauty, all the heady smells.... It was a smell very unique to the south Indian villages. Our neighbor aunties and my family ladies would have competition in kolam drawing. What imagination they had in creating Kolam designs!! Unbelievable colors and intricate designs unfold in front of you in minutes. I wish I had a camera to record all those memories as a child.

The morning of pongal dawns very early before the Sun God has time to take his first wink, with another Kolam session on the front, this time colorful rangolis adorn our front yards. Then comes all new cloths and yes, Pongal! Awesome delicious mommy only can make kind of pongal, she actually doesn't do any magic but always my mom's pongal is the best. Pongal - typically every familymakes two paanai pongal, that is make two types of pongal - one sweet - made with rice, milk, jaggery, pacha karpuram, cardamom, cashewnuts and raisins. (But real village pongal is very simple, yet soooo delicious, made with rice, jaggery, channa dal and coconut). The other kind rice, a sprinkle of channa dal and grated coconut - called white pongal. We make it either in the front yard or in the kitchen and adorn the pongal pathiram with fresh turmeric plant around the neck. Sugarcane and fresh ginger are all offered to Sun God - symbolically thanking him for the bounty he offers humanity. Then we hog on the pongal and chew on lots of long sugarcane's. I remember having races with my sister to see who finishes the long sugarcane first. Inevitable yours truly wins in all eating contests with my sister back home :). The lunch menu on Pongal day looks somehting like this - Sambhar made with all vegetables, Rasam, Kara Kuzhambu, Avial, Pachadi, Vazhaka fry, Vada, Appalam and twokinds of Pongal. I only used to enjoy the food and forget the rest as a daughter, now being the mom, I realize the time and amount of work behind such extensive delicacies.

Where I come from, Pongal is a three day affair. Next day to Pongal is Mattu Pongal. We typically celebrate the farm animals. All the bulls, cows and even goats are washed and decorated with garlands. Generally the whole village joins in one big arena and cook pongal together. This pongal is sooooooooooooooo yummy and my all time favourite. They add jaggery, freshly grated coconut and ripe bananas to cooked white rice on plantain leaves and mix it. Oh yummmmmy! Mattu Pongal used to be big grand affair where all our cousins get together at my maternal grandparents huge house until i was like 13 years old. Thatha passed away and so did all those traditions, family get together and all the fun.

Third day of pongal is called kanu and we make pongal - agian sweet kind to celebrate the kanya pongal - young virgins in the family. Young girls get new cloths and money as presents from the elders on Kanya pongal day. Evening is the fun part. All the young and old alike dress up and meet in the center of the village. Many weddings gets fixed! Oh I can see those days of fun! there is so much music and so much dance - kummi, kolattam etc etc. We can see all folk arts vibrant and alive in that Pongal celebration on the third day.

Life was beautiful. We knew so many family members and extended relatives. We knew how to get together and share the joys and sorrows. As children we were exposed our very traditional, meaningful festivals and we had grandparents around to tell us stories - even if all the reasons my patti or ammachi told me were not authentic reasons for a celebration, at the very least I had them around, to lean on, to look up to and take refuge in.

Cruel reality

2009-01-10T23:16:00.000-08:00

I came to know this- I am at a loss- what to call this shocking, heartbreaking news? A friend of mine called me this morning - we speak after a long time, but you know sometimes you don't have to be talking everyday to keep up the friendship. She is such a person. I was very happy about the call but the magnanimity of the information she shared in a chocking tearful voice shattered my very being.

Her family - the couple, 2 boys and a girl are all going to attend a "celebration of life" of the older boy's friend (4th grader). What??? Celebration of life for the young child? We both cried. My thoughts wandered, oh my God the unimaginable, unbelievably cruel reality of life had touched upon the family of a fourth grader. That little boy - a student at Stratford, De Anza Campus, got a burst blood vessel in the brain and is not alive any more. A loss of a child - I had gone through a loss of an unborn child - if that was excruciating for me, to lose a child, a 9 year old, how would it be to the parents. God why do you do things like that? Why give and take at such tender age? Sometimes I cannot relate or come to terms with the reality of death. Why should it happen? Whats the equation that You use for all the births in the world? Now trying to rationalize the desperation that I once experienced, I can only pray to You God, again to give them the faith to come to terms with their loss.

Will Obama prove to be a transformational global leader?

2009-01-09T21:23:00.000-08:00

This is a survey question( very similar to many others) I come across on many websites after Barack Obama got elected as the President. All I want to do is to scream out loud FOR GOD'S SAKE GIVE THIS PERSON A CHANCE AT THE OFFICE before wanting to come to a conclusion, stop all the speculations you bird brains.

Agreed the country is in rags. Agreed the depression is greater than the great depression. But its a mess created and systematically piled upon layer after layer on the American people, on the American Economy and on the American Dream. All we have now is a nightmare. A nightmare beyond comprehension.

And Obama is no magician. He is a person with a promise. And he is a person with a promise of change and lots of limitations. However much happy about his election, I am sad and sorry that a historic change for America has to happen at such historic bad economy and challenging hard times. Undoing whats been done in the past eight years is going to take time. We should remember Obama is not armed with a magic wand or any God like powers. So lets pray God to give him the strength and the kind of experienced, knowledgeable support in the cabinet to steer America out of the destructive twister and restore stability, confidence and hope in the American people.

Lets let him take one step at a time and not expect any leaps. With leaps we may falter and get hurt, with careful steps we will reach our destination strong and sound. With proper planning, measures and support, We might take longer to be where we want to be, but we sure will be stronger. God Bless America and God Bless Barack Obama.

Email Etiquette!

2009-01-09T15:56:00.000-08:00

Well to begin with I am no great personality to define any etiquette and i do not intend doing a definition. But I think as a person who responds to my emails pretty regularly I am well qualified to "talk" about email etiquette.

Email was a great communication revolution in the late 20th century. Emails are easier to send and receive than the postal mails, 'coz they save writing time - of course typing out is easier than writing, searching and finding an envelope, stamping and walking to the post office or mail box to send it. Then waiting for the mail to reach the person sent and to hear back. When we get a reply in the post, how happy and good it used to feel? I do lament the invention of email some times 'coz it feels great to read the written letter from a loved one and the family. From anybody for that matter. Every letter has a spirit to it. Well that apart -

Email, when we do send them we intend communication. Can communication always be one way? How would it feel if we call a person on the phone and start yapping and the other person never even says an umm or ah? What kind of communication is that? I think un reciprocated emails work the same way as unresponsive calls.

I for one expect an acknowledgment or reply to my question whenever I send an email to my friends and family. But there are many people in the world who do not acknowledge or respond to emails. What might be their thought process? I wonder if people are too busy that they do not have time to hit the reply button and type out a few nice words or thank you or a response to a question? Oh no but what about the ones who send them? Those kind of people do put me off, I never want to communicate with them.

Wouldn't it be nice if the world responds to emails? I do not mean junk mails of course. Real genuine mails from people you know, who had sent you information and are waiting to know if you find them useful? I feel every intentional emails with a wish, communication or information we need should get a response. Well only I seem to feel that way. But never mind I am at peace 'coz I do that always!

தேடல்

2009-01-05T23:45:00.001-08:00

நுரைத்து தள்ளி கரையில் புரண்டு
என்ன தேடும் இந்த அலைகள்?
தொலைத்து விட்ட நுரையின் காற்றா
எடுத்து சென்ற மணலின் சுவடா
கரைத்து கொண்ட காலத்தின் கனவா

பறந்து கரைந்து திரியும் காகம்
தேடித்திரியும் காரணம் என்ன?
சின்னகுழந்தை ஆனால் கூட
அம்மா பார்க்க தேடல் உண்டு

இந்த
தொலைந்து போன மனிதம் மட்டும்
தொலைந்த நினைவே மறந்து போய்...

அவள்(ன்)

2009-01-05T23:33:00.000-08:00

மின்னல் பெண்மை கண்ணை பறிக்க
கன்னல் இனிமை குரலில் தெறிக்க
அன்ன நடையை அழகாய் பயின்று
சின்ன மனதை கிறங்க வைத்தாள்

பதுமை வந்த அழகை பார்த்து
மெதுவாய் பின்னே சென்ற கூட்டம்
பதறி ஓடும் காரணம் என்ன?
பாவம் "அவளின்" பிறவி தானா?

Visit.

2009-01-02T12:14:00.000-08:00

Living in California, We do not get many visitors from back home. Many childhood relationships long lost, we do live a happy content life as any foursome family. Except some pangs of regrets when we see children playing with visiting grandparents in the local park or when our children visit friend's who have their grandparents visiting them for a six months stay. Somehow getting our children's grandparents visit us is always been an alluring enigma.

So now when our cousin had to come to bay area on work from Chennai and stayed with us for 2 months, it was like a rare surprise gift. It was like walking down the memory lane, densely fogged with clusters of emotions. Remembering and discovering the tastes, sharing memories and revisiting common interests, like books and history. Children had a fun playmate and a knowledgeable chithappa - all in one.

But time's winged chariot does fly fast when you are having so much fun. The visit ended and he started to get back to his work, life and family today. We roam around the home like zombies. My little two and half year old is still calling for "chithappa". Older one is bravely trying to hide his disappointment.

Having family live in the US doesn't help a lot sometimes. We do have our family on the other coast and meet rarely and only in India when we both visit. Perhaps defining once a year visits with family on the other coast will give these relatives deprived children a better idea of family and relationships? Like alternating visits every year?

ஒரு மழை நாள்

2008-12-16T12:47:00.000-08:00

தூறல் மெல்ல சாரல் அடிக்க
ஈர மேகம் மெதுவாய் நடக்க
இடையில் தவழும் வெளிச்சக்கோடு
வண்ணதூரிகை வானவில்லாய்

வளைந்து செல்லும் கழுவிய சாலை
மின்னும் வண்ண எண்ணைக் கோலம்
நெஞ்சில் நிறைக்கும் கடந்த காலம்
வானவில்லின் வண்ணசிதறல்..

Some random thoughts...

2008-12-15T22:53:00.000-08:00

Just the situation I heard about kept my thoughts rolling... The abundance of words - lipservice in all is amazing. And the real care, true feelings shown and those who cared- "cared" as in those who takes the extra mile to help, make them happy or indulge are simply forgotten.

Is the world becoming a soceity purely based on convenience and selfishness? Or does the pep talk carry more value than the real? Just like the puffed up resume working wonders where as the real resume is thrown under?

Is today's world has become so very materialistic that there is no place for honesty and truth between friends and family? Just thinking about the amount of back stabbing and sidestepping (is there an expression like that?-sidestepping? ha - what funny term, but I'm gonna keep it here :) to mean silent withdrawal from any kind of relationship).

So how should a person be if he wants to remain sane and honest and still maintain good relationship with world at large? Well a little tricky 'coz of the word "honest".

"Trip to India - Going home and not finding it" - Indira Anupindi

2008-12-12T15:40:00.000-08:00

Just finished reading this book - I am still thinking of a word to label this - may be scary? no doesn't sound right. Can I say very intriguing book of a person's visit to India after five years and getting completely disillusioned? I read it. Read it as I always do, cover to cover, front to back.

The author - Indira Anupindi seems extremely matter of fact - she doesn't sit on judgement. She is just stating the facts of today's urban India. The statement is so simple that its a slap on the face for those of us who were used to a culture with decorum. The information shakes the very root of my faith in Indian culture. Being an Indian girl born and brought up with a clear, simple set of rules, instructions and faith, I am heartbroken at the unnerving reality.

I would call the portrayal of this India in the book as India in it's extreme. We have poverty, filth and hunger right at the doorsteps of posh finenesse. Its a combination of the blind faith in following the age old custom where the Indian window is stripped of colors and bangles, as well as where Urban, rich "social" Indian women (not just young mindless girls mind you, these are mothers, mother-in-laws of rich soceity) is finding peace in "gigolos". To be honest - naive that I am this is the first time I come across such a word. But apparently gigolo means the male version of prostitute. The cultural decay is shocking beyond comapare.

The poignant descriptions of how "soceity" women entertain themselves, expensive way they hold their kitty parties, even the simple Rs. 800( the most inexpensive, by Indian standards) are making me revisit my plans of eventually getting back to India for good someday. The subtlity with which she portrays the casual spending habits or today's Indians in India and today's Indians in America is so cool.

I only wish the autor had added some magnificient pictures to match her descriptions of places like Vaishnav Devi temple and Manthralaya. Some aspects apart, definitly a good read for many of us so out of touch with the latest "developments" in India - I only wish these developments are only fiction, rather than the horrid reality it seems to be.

"Miles to go before I sleep"

2008-12-12T10:14:00.000-08:00

Finding inner peace is becoming an increasingly hard part of life. Amidst all the noises that surround me from dawn to dusk, life just flows on with almost no time to sit and stare. In the tumult, realizing what I want and what I am becomes a hard confusion.

So long ago a poet wrote," I have miles to go before I sleep". Today world has come a part where everybody goes miles and miles everyday with no time to stop and look at the bright orange,red and yellow clad trees, or think about why are we shoveling the breakfast cereal so fast and running out without even waving a bye to the busy person likely preparing two more lunch bags or clearing the dish wahser in the kitchen.

Thinking of a typical day routine - wake up with the kids, get some breakfast in (I never miss it), clean, drop in school, cook, clean (all the while multi tasking - talking on the phone, helping with homeowrk, changing diaper, doing dishes, changing cloths in laundry, folding them if possible, planning dinner etc etc..), then struggle to juggle in some time for exercise, like once a week. Evening comes before I realize, pick up kids, take for classes, give them bath, feed, eat, clean, and finaly when I hit the hay its mostly like 11:00 or so.

I still try to squeeze in about 10 mnts or more of Mercury News with breakfast and give in some time for KRON4 at 11:00. Try to check my emails, respond to them in timely manner and do social calls! Phew!

Am I doing only this much in a day? Did I mention anything about what other things I want to do? Like work on and finish up the book- the theme I had been working on for a long time now??? Playing at least one board game a day with my boy, reading 5 to 7 books a day to both my children? The desire to sit and stare into emprty space or sky at least for 15 mnts without interruting thoughts of chores?

I want to do all this and much more in one day. I think of my dad, who can start his day right and brisk at 4:00 AM inspite of the fact that he went to bed at 12:30 previous night (or should I call it early next day?). My mom who is always up and about any time my dad is up with hot tea for him to start off the day. Time management and efficiency will render some kind of justice to things I want to do in a day. But...

Then where is the inner peace thing I strated off? Very funny. Life goes on.

What are we leaving behind for our children?

2008-11-20T11:35:00.000-08:00

I met with three of my son's friend's moms in a kiddie birthday party. All the children were busy jumping around in the huge inflatables. WIth absolutely nothing to do, mom's grouped up and started talking. After an array of usual topics - hair, nails, outfits, weight etc (can anyone tell me if women can talk anyting else when they chit chat?) we jumped on to more serious stuff.

The straigt and not so straight couples and their rights, The sanctity of "Marriage" etc etc. Suddenly out of no where one mom echoed my nightmare. She said "Sometimes I wonder what are we going to leave behind for our children?" Apparently she meant what kindof world. My thoughts started churning. It had been my nightmare ever since my first one was born.

As a mom with two young children I want to know my children will have a happy life as adults. But its almost impossible for me to visualize 50 years, even 20, from now. What kind of world is it going to be? With science so advancing and moral values so declining and the environmental treasures so depleting....

Will our children have good clean air to breath and clean water to drink? The small simple every day things we take for granted today, will they be available for our children? Kron4 just yesterday night was talking about a first of a kind conference to conserve water in the bay area. Rainfall is low, snow level is low, seasons are helter skelter. Wow it sure is scary to think of the future.

So I guess I will resort to my ususal practice - Prayer. I'll pray every single day to God to keep earth bountiful as always, to preserve the environment. Though selfish, I sure am praying for the whole community, world. If you beleive in prayer, please do for a mnt every day. So our children will have a safe life even after when we are not around.

மனம்

2008-11-18T14:49:00.000-08:00

எங்கோ என்றோ நேஞ்சினில்
நினைவால் நிறைந்த நிழல்களும்
இன்றைய வாழ்வில் தினமும்
நிஜத்தின் நிகழும் கனவுகளும
எண்ணதூரிகை ஓவியமாய்
வண்ணக்கலவை சித்திரமாய்
காலச்சுவடுகள் கழிந்தபின்
மணலில் பதிந்த பாதசுவடுகளாய் மனம்...

Elemental Fury

2008-11-17T00:06:00.000-08:00

What can we lame mortals do when elements unleash their fury on us? I shudder to think of all the fires in California and elsewhere in the world every day. Just to think about the tsunami - a factor I had never known as intensely as after the devastation it caused around the eastern part of the world, not to mention the earth quakes and volcanos....

We call the world is so advanced. Our scientists and meteolologists can predict the sun shine and rain every day. Can they actually predict the exact time of a tsunami or earth quake and protect the people from being massacared? Are we supposed to take them as the return of what we do to the earth?

The abundance of ugly "politics" in work places, relationships, friendships and the lies, cheating, and all the wrong things we do in our small ways in every day life are collecting together against and like "little drops of water" and turn toward us like a "mighty ocean" some day to settle scores?

Its scary to think about the way the world works today. Just before the week end, three families lost a memeber each. because somebody got mad at the boss in the work place for being sent out.

Joblessness is exruciating. But when we are jobless we are still alive. We can find a way to find a job or work late shifts in Mc Donald's, Starbucks or do something to bring in bread n' water to our family. But is t not cruel to take the liberty to take away life? What is the responsibility of the person who take extreme injustice in ihs own hands? God and its simply unnerving.

As economy tumbles, the basic trust on people seem to slip far away. SO is that why the elements are unable to hold good for people who are not holding good? IS that why we are loosing many innocent, un assuming lives in all those natural disasters? is it a kind of balance?

And I start trying to find explanations for the elemental fury and in a way finding a reason in nature's justice - definitely not a judgement or poetic justice, but a justice none the less.

The long and short of life...

2008-11-12T12:47:00.000-08:00

Life doesn't always (may be never) comes served on a silver platter. And absolutely no body cleans up after. So the set backs hit, I turn philosophical!

We don't get a chance determine our birth and our name. So how is that we think we determine our life? Like what we want to be, our job even our everyday activities as far as I am concerned seem to happen the way they pre determined. Well here I am getting confused.

So what exactly happens when traffic gets all clogged up on 85 Saround 5 PM every week day? Logic says too short lane merges and sudden exits causes the rush, but can we accept it when we 're running 3 mnts late, two exits behind for a same day doc appoinment??

Would we want our wonderful loving children to wake up and ask for the RR when we are getting cozy on a cold winter night after an excruciating day?

Many a time had a lain awake in the early morning dark hours thinking I'll wake up exactly at 5:30 and do all my routine things I want to do and start my day afresh. But alas, I'll fall asleep at 5:15 and wake up frantically at 7:15 with barely time to brush, pack lunch and get the kids ready for school. Where did I miss the time? between the wakefulness and sleep that lurked right behind me when I was thinking all those refreshing thoughts at 5:00 AM? Would it have been better if I had awoken at 5:00?

Ah....the "if"s of life....well they make life worth living. Giving optimism and desperation at the same moments!

Prepare to bake a corn bread from scratch and after getting it out the restless child wants it immediately. Tun the pan upside down and lo! instead of a perfect triangle we get a messy rumble. So what next?

Marriage

2008-11-04T22:16:00.000-08:00

Does matrimony prevent freedom of speech and freedom of expression? If that is the case where is the harmony in the matrimony???

When people fight for prop 8 and call for supporters to say no on 8, they call it love. I heard, no matter what is the gender of the partner, they wanted to call it love and so they have the right to marry. But what do they know about matrimony huh??? What entails a marriage? the complexity? the dependencies? The responsibilities? Children? When two same sex partners "marry" where does everything comes in? Well who denies their unity?they can live together and do whatever they want together. Why the hell they want to call it marriage?

As a cynic, I can say in marriage, to make it work, one person always makes endless sacrifices. Sacrifices that the spouse cannot imagine and understand. That the spouse so rightfully thinks every thing is totally fair, when in reality it is NOT. Are these prop 8 nay sayers aware of all these? Then would they also fight for divorce? When basic values change what morality wil prevail?

If what Bible says is true, God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Adam or Eve and Eve. Nature, God or a supreme scietific powere whatever you believe in, created this world with a perfect balance. Man and Woman and the symbolic representation of the "+" and "_" balance in the world. If we humans defy the balance how can there be creations? Babies, animals, plants and flowers? Would we use cloning for everything? When will these people realize that? Who denies them equality if they are together?? Why in the name of God they want to call it "marrigae" and which selfish midless idiot started this in the first place?

The day History is made...

2008-11-04T21:53:00.000-08:00

Barack Obama - president elect. November 4, 2008.

Obama makes a dream come true. In 1963 Martin Luther King Jr. very bravely dreamt of a change. He said "Nineteen sixty-three is not an end, but a beginning". The same way 2008 is not an end of a dream. its just the beginning of a long arduous journey, a dream that Obama should hold dear to heart and work, work with the people and for the people as he powerfully stated in his acceptence speech.

So, The change has arrived. It had taken a long winding journey, nevertheless it has arrived. God Bless Obama and God Bless this wonderful country.

From MLK's oration:
"I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal."
I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.
I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.
I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.
I have a dream today!
I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of "interposition" and "nullification" -- one day right there in Alabama little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.
I have a dream today!
I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, and every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight; "and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together."²"

I still have my little score - Obama should have had Hillary for VP. But its okey, I am sure he and Biden can do a great job to revive America from the downfall.

Congratulations Obama. You said today you will isten to the people, especiallywhen the views disagree. Listen, listen to the people. And work for us. We'll support you with thoughts, deeds and prayers.

Friends...

2008-10-25T01:49:00.001-07:00

The transformation of life from carefree single to a married person itself is a huge metamorphosis for many women. Combine that with a journey to the unknown, well not really an unknown place - as we all read, learn or atleast watch Indian movies taken abroad. But nevertheless, a journey far far away from the security of home with only the person you barely know! Who keeps the life going? getting settled. For a lucky few its friends.

Friends come in all shapes and sizes, colors and races. We can have a huge array friends but its with only a few or we can be ourselves, unpretentious - our simple self. What to call it....an honest friendship?? A person with whom we can discuss everything still can understand our fine line. Not very overpwoering, demanding or possesive, but simple, understanding and pretty much no nonsense kind..I am blessed with quiet a few such wonderful people in my life.

The river of life keeps flowing and we, have to float with our life's journey. One such journey is taking a friend too far....with all the simple hearty honesty, I am sure "like gold to airy thinness beat" we'll continue long distance...

VaiKo..who is going to stop his non sense?

2008-10-22T13:47:00.001-07:00

Tamilnadu politicians - will they ever stop? I was just reading this article about the VaiKo &co meetings about Tamil Eelam and man I just cannot stop getting madder and madder until I got this splitting head ache. IS there any stop to their non stop idiotic rhetoric? All their intention in helping Tamil's in Sri Lanka is okey. I have nothing against it. But how the hell can they talk about "Tamil Eelam" and "Thani Tamilnadu" in the same breath? Are they all absolute fools? From what I have read about VaiKo I had always thought that man is a widely read, literate person. Why the hell he talks about divisiveness in Tamilnadu? Who wants to do it? When the stupid "Katchi Thondarhal" hear about it, they will follow their leaders like sheeps and shout, rally and fight for seperation. But Inida is an entity where Tamilnadu is a part. Why the hell these politicians want to bring death to the growth by playing politics?? I still cannot understand the so called Dravidian politics refusing the knowledge and right to learn Hindi in TN for so long. Stupidity and politics are becoming synonymous in TN these days. I wish someone puts a curb to this non sense as soon as possible.