Oh the twist and turns...

Sometimes the twists and turns bewilder us beyond comprehension. When a simple logic goes berserk and metamorphoses into something else beyond compare what can you do? Just start blogging? Right. That's exactly what I am doing.

My good friend Sara(Saraswathy Kameswaran) did something great - she went on a self funded ski expedition to Both the South Pole and North Pole in 2007. The Poles skiing community knew she was the first Indian woman to do this amazing feet. But she did not get the recognition from neither the Indian government nor the media. thinking back now - though we contacted the media, we never contacted the political powerhouse to inform. Now the whole web is ablaze with the news about first Indian woman "preparing" to go to South Pole in 2010. How interestingly funny is it? What a great twist of facts? In spite of getting in touch with the news agency that is spreading the current news, and the person who is planning to guide this 2010 team, we did not hear from anybody about the 2007 achievement my friend did. I feel it is an in justice to my friend's achievement. I am now reaching out to the popular bloggers to write about Sara. But who knows if her achievement will be recognized?

Sometimes what we think is true turns out to be sadly not so. Sometimes we are so sure of the path that can take us to the destination we need to reach. Often times we are not even sure of the destination we want to go, how to select a path - so twisted with many darker turns??

Totally unconnected to Sara's achievement, I have this other thing that bothers me. Sometimes when I see people I know talk about separation, I am dumbfounded. I cannot think coherently. I believe marriage is a bond, sealed with love and trust. Also I believe is giving the spouse a space, with trust. The beauty, friendship, love and care - not to mention the little fights, that bind the marriage are irreplaceable.

How ever is it possible to live alone after growing to live together over the years? After sharing everything that we consider sacred, after trusting for so many years, the spouse becomes so much a part of our being isn't it? We even learn to talk, think and act like them in some ways. So when I hear the impossible - I get shocked. In any culture - when a man and woman come together under a sacred promise - does it not mean they go on forever? Is it that very hard to talk together and iron out the wrinkles? I am aware that no two individuals can live like "one". Its total myth. But I am sure the two individuals involved in a marriage - can mutually agree to disagree on the things they individually do not like?

பாட்டு

கொஞ்ச நாட்களாய் தமிழ் பாட்டு கேட்பதே இல்லாமல் போயிருந்தது. மாடர்ன் மியூசிக் என்ற பேரில் ஒரே காட்டுக்கத்தல் தான் நிறைய இருந்தது, இல்லன்னா அர்த்தகளே புரியாமல், வார்த்தைதளின் அர்த்தம் வேற ரொம்ப கொடுமையாய் ...

இப்போ தான் இந்த பாட்டு கேட்டேன். சுப்ரமணியபுரம் படத்தில "கண்கள் இரண்டால்"...ரொம்ப சுகமான மெல்லிய இசை. இனிய வார்த்தைகள். ரொம்ப அழகு.இதயம் நுழைந்து இறகால் தடவும் இனிமை. வேணும்னா நீங்களும கேட்டுப்பாருங்க. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WNZHjGWjKis

Dependencies

Dependency has a special connotations for those non working ( I mean not working for money, outside home) women. Me being one of them, apart from" that" special kind of dependency, I am talking about being a nucleus family in the United states or anywhere else, away from where we have our extended family. Where just as a foursome or threesome, any family with children - have to depend on our friends one time or another for help, to take care of the children in some situations. When I lived back in India - for my aunts and uncles - baby sitting was never a problem. They had thier parent's homes or siblings homes to drop the children at moments notice to go somewhere or take a break from monotonous routine, even.

But here, when we have dependent children - not in school we have to look for baby sitters even to make a dentist appointment. I do not know about others. But, With two children aged 6 and 3, I am always looking for an impromptu baby sitters for my children. You know what comes naturally - getting the grandma over to help for simple things - always remains a wishful thought. My man had to undergo surgery two times. First when I had my little one inside (then I only had to make arrangement for my first one, then three yrs old).

The funny part is, First time I had enlisted a friends help to drive my husband home after the surgery. When were in the surgi center, the friend who was supposed to drive - had to rush his wife to labor & delivery. I ended up being the driver! Not that I didnt know driving. But being pregnant I was little nervous! But I managed. Now when having both the kids out - I feel completely dependent on friends. The timings did not work for the usual baby sitter. (she is only doing part time when her kids are at school) .

I feel so excruciatingly humiliated (just like a cockroach - this insect never feels obviously bad though - encroaching on your kitchen) when I have to ask a friend to take care of our daughter/son so very frequently. But then I am not blessed with a very quiet child either. She is a perfect little curious george. A loud one at that. We do not go on a date leaving the children behind. We are always in the urgent care or emergency or on a doc appointment. So, Apart from being in the hospital - on an average of 3 times a week, enlisting peopel to help - not that they grudge, feels so bad. I wish God never keeps me in a position to go ask for help - baby sitting help, I mean.

Pain

Every little moments
Passing through as minutes...
Taking along the hours
Pushing through the days...

We pass by many a gains
Sometimes lots of pains.
In a far off land - where
Nucleus family holds the wand

Life's magic creates
A rainbow of colors -
Sometimes only a muddy brown persists!
Oh too many tears.

Last name

When did people start using last names? And why? probably I can find answers in wikipedia or history of cultural evolution. But every time I read a news article in Yahoo or in Mercury news, whenever they mention a name from a country where having a last name is neither a cultural thing or a social necessity, they say ----, "who goes by one name only" . What is the significance to the readers to know if the person has "one name only?". Is it some way of putting down the other part of the world where people always have just the given name and live just fine and happy as everyone else?

I see all kind of funny last names - Winehouse is for example is a last name of a celebrity. Sometimes the meaning makes me laugh. But I still do not understand why the so called very important news organizations like AP or Reuters, when reporting even a serious news item, pause to mention "goes by one name only".

காதல்

நீல வானம் நிறைய மேகம்
சின்ன சாரல் சிறிதே வெளிச்சம்
கண்கள் தடவும் தென்றல் காற்று
அழிந்தும் அழியா வான வில்
அழகிய மாலை ....
அழைத்திடும் வேளை
துணை வரும் காதல் - இனி
தொடு வானம் கூட
தொட்டிடும் தூரம்....

Medicine medicine everywhere...

Coleridge in his Ancient Mariner wrote "water water everywhere, not a drop to drink". For my family its been 'medicine medicine everywhere not a drop to miss' for the past ten days. I am so done with all the urgent care visits, doctor appointments, late night runs to pharmacy etc.

But this simple sufferings at home almost always brings back the fear of a profound. And of course all the thoughts about people in my life who suffered a lot. I wish God never created all these sickness in first place after all. One grandma suffered broken limbs and back until the last breath. Other grandma battled cancer until finally put to rest. A cousin eternally suffered - ( the family too) 'coz of unknown problems in her brain, and passed away way too early. What are the reasons for all their sufferings?

I have a read a lot about people going through living hell with pain, severe illnesses and a few other stuff I cannot bring myself to write about. But why? As we believe God is the creator, protector and destroyer of human kind - why go through sufferings in between?