And my thoughts just rush through making a huge mess of thoughts – something like mixing up all basic colors of clay to make one big clay ball, that keeps changing colors as you knead or roll. Getting more confused, more integrated, until the ball becomes one dirty colored mess of a ball. From the outside, if you are taking the first look, you cannot imagine that mushy, browny clay ball was made out beautiful distinct colors. Such are my thoughts. A big mess of a mess. Let me throw that out in the garbage. Messy thoughts never make any clear sense. It messes up writing, and as a result, the understanding of the readers. Not that I have a throbbing readership that I am writing for. If one or two souls read what I write here, I consider myself lucky ( I know you do truself, Thank you!).
Now Violence. Violence kills people. Literally and figuratively. The literal violence is the violence that is out there, words, actions, deeds as part of the our primitive nature. Thinking back, I cannot pin any time in history and say that violence was not part of the society. But in the 20th century and beyond, violence has taken a new meaning. A new life. A new life toward destruction. Now I wish to categorize violence into two broader groups. Community violence. Domestic violence.
What is violence in the community? People getting mad and hurting each other. Hurting total strangers. Killing unknown strangers. Hurting people belonging to something different other that what the killer believes in. Oh God – think about the multitude of unknown cruelties directed towards fellow human beings? Again I am afraid my thoughts are churning so fast from the gag rape in India to the mass shooting in New Town, not missing the obvious war in Afghanistan. Why? We all carry death with us. We never know when that is going to take over the life we live. Then why hurt another life, another soul and what responsibility gave you the right to hurt? Again the mysteries of death, why people turn violent is another million dollar question. Are we feeding the primates in us? Whatever happened to us as a society of living beings? Let’s not bring in “cultured”. I don’t want to call today’s society a cultured one.
I realize this violence is slowly creeping in to the society in the form of entertainment. Look at the movies 60 years ago. Was there this much bloodshed? As science and technology developed, movies started showing lot of “real” blood, shooting and in essence violence. What was entertainment for children 40 or 50 years ago? Playing in the back yard? Board games? Some such thing right? Now look how much their pass time is immersed in violence. The number of games, levels and addictions. I don’t know about it a lot to write. But I do know its out there and kids are addicted like crazy. So again science and technology on the one end being so positively productive, on the other side, feeding the primitive blood thirsty violence hidden in the human nature.
Is there a one solution to end all this nonsense? I am afraid not. No one action can put an end to the killings and deaths. We must have a social conscience as a whole to go through a metamorphosis. Is that possible? I don’t know. Perhaps this is the end that Mayan calendar predicted? An end to values, life and culture? So slowly everyone kills everyone and world comes to an end? Not on one day as expected, but slowly as the century ceases to be the world ceases to be as well? Well it is confusing and scary.
Then there is the figurative violence. The passive violence that kills an individual’s natural flow of life. I would always connect this with the domestic violence. How many women and men live thorough this kind of domestic violence. God, it is totally unbelievably real. I personally know women who go through this type of violence. It’s like living in R.L. Stevenson’s Jekyll and Hyde story. When the man or woman shows a very polite and fine face to the world and shows only a rotten ugly face at the home front. So when the other spouse who lives though this mess, for reasons as stupid as fear – because the other may threaten suicide if ever truth is spoken, or submission and in a larger sense, social stigma. Especially in India if a woman decides to free herself from the clutches of pain, she thinks the society might stigmatize her. What utterly senseless suffering? These things make me very upset and angry at the person that lets this happen to themselves.
Again we are here, so we live is true. Also respecting the other individual, being happy and letting the other person to be happy is also necessary for harmony in life. Torturing, belittling anyone is not acceptable. Why do you have to subject yourself to such pain? Stay away. Stop that in the beginning. I am really enraged to see such nonsense going on in highly educated, employed, so called elite families in India. Ah here I am caught red handed. Angry, enraged…these are what cause violence. Breath. Relax. Pray. And Pray again that all violence should dwindle down and not exist in the world that we leave behind for our children.
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Fear
She came in. And hunkered under the curtain. Dragged me with her. And said “shhhh…don’t make a noise”. Then they came in. Called for us. She didn’t let me talk. I was amused at my little one’s hide and seek with us on the Friday evening. So I played along. Then they figured where we were. Lifted the curtains.
Then she screamed. “Mom they are going to shoot at us, we are going to die”. All of us stopped on track. “What??, what are you saying?”. She said, “oh mamma, we are practicing code red. In school when it is code red our teacher gets us to hide. Then those bad guys come in. We should not make a noise. Then officers will come in to save us. If we make a noise bad guys will find us and they will shoot at us.”
Agreed my older one with a more neutral story.
I could not clear the crowded memory since last Friday. All those parents that lost their children, families that lost a loved one in all these years, the pain, anguish, question, dilemma, of these lost dreams and lost lives perform an action replay in slow motion most of the time in my mind. They are not my personal experience but a result of cumulative readership and understanding mixed with parental intuition and understanding.
We send kids to school. We go to places we go to, work, movies, shopping and all other every day errands. And we set out planning to return. And when that doesn’t happen many a times, what to expect of life here? Why take out individual anger and disillusionment on an unsuspecting society? And yes, we do need to learn disaster preparedness. Prepare ourselves for earth quakes, tsunamis, storms, fires etc. But how do we prepare ourselves for bullets?
Go out anticipating that we will not return? Every day? That is living in fear. Living in fear and the American Dream are two entirely opposite things. I don’t want to live in fear, but still fear lingers in my heart.
Then she screamed. “Mom they are going to shoot at us, we are going to die”. All of us stopped on track. “What??, what are you saying?”. She said, “oh mamma, we are practicing code red. In school when it is code red our teacher gets us to hide. Then those bad guys come in. We should not make a noise. Then officers will come in to save us. If we make a noise bad guys will find us and they will shoot at us.”
Agreed my older one with a more neutral story.
I could not clear the crowded memory since last Friday. All those parents that lost their children, families that lost a loved one in all these years, the pain, anguish, question, dilemma, of these lost dreams and lost lives perform an action replay in slow motion most of the time in my mind. They are not my personal experience but a result of cumulative readership and understanding mixed with parental intuition and understanding.
We send kids to school. We go to places we go to, work, movies, shopping and all other every day errands. And we set out planning to return. And when that doesn’t happen many a times, what to expect of life here? Why take out individual anger and disillusionment on an unsuspecting society? And yes, we do need to learn disaster preparedness. Prepare ourselves for earth quakes, tsunamis, storms, fires etc. But how do we prepare ourselves for bullets?
Go out anticipating that we will not return? Every day? That is living in fear. Living in fear and the American Dream are two entirely opposite things. I don’t want to live in fear, but still fear lingers in my heart.
Truth
There is truth. Then there is what they say as truth. And then, there is what you believe as truth. Yet again, there is what stays as truth.
The personality of truth changes based on perspectives. Essentially there are as many facets of truth as the number of people and perspectives. What you believe to be true may entirely be false in reality.
What makes me so philosophical today? Just day to day life matters.
So here is a little story. A knows B for a long time. A goes to a place X and B joins X after a while. Then A leaves X for Y. The after a while it so happens B also moves from Place X to place Y. A didn’t have anything to do with B’s decision to move. It was B’s at will choice. But B’s boss is not amused by the move. So is finding comfort in character assassination. No direct confrontation with A. No fact finding. But talks to everyone that A is taking B to the same place!!
Dude this is Silicon Valley! And we live in a free country, corporate America! People move around all the time! Wake up and realize that. On top of all this, every one has a life beyond places X and Y. Its a busy life and A or anyone else does not have time to do such political math! If they did, they would not be where they are right now! If you want to beleive in what you think, all I can do is, to repeat my little one, and say "ha ha ...very funny!!!"
Human nature is so amusing. When we think everything is on track, something goes off track, we don’t want to examine why the off track happened. We seldom look at the issue at hand objectively. We just want someone to blame. This seems to be the universal attitude. How does blaming help to advance? How proactive is that?
Approaching any truth directly to get the close to the real picture will help in moving on. But again truth does have many facets! What is true to me may not be true to you. So believe in what you believe and I do the same! Life rolls on :)
The personality of truth changes based on perspectives. Essentially there are as many facets of truth as the number of people and perspectives. What you believe to be true may entirely be false in reality.
What makes me so philosophical today? Just day to day life matters.
So here is a little story. A knows B for a long time. A goes to a place X and B joins X after a while. Then A leaves X for Y. The after a while it so happens B also moves from Place X to place Y. A didn’t have anything to do with B’s decision to move. It was B’s at will choice. But B’s boss is not amused by the move. So is finding comfort in character assassination. No direct confrontation with A. No fact finding. But talks to everyone that A is taking B to the same place!!
Dude this is Silicon Valley! And we live in a free country, corporate America! People move around all the time! Wake up and realize that. On top of all this, every one has a life beyond places X and Y. Its a busy life and A or anyone else does not have time to do such political math! If they did, they would not be where they are right now! If you want to beleive in what you think, all I can do is, to repeat my little one, and say "ha ha ...very funny!!!"
Human nature is so amusing. When we think everything is on track, something goes off track, we don’t want to examine why the off track happened. We seldom look at the issue at hand objectively. We just want someone to blame. This seems to be the universal attitude. How does blaming help to advance? How proactive is that?
Approaching any truth directly to get the close to the real picture will help in moving on. But again truth does have many facets! What is true to me may not be true to you. So believe in what you believe and I do the same! Life rolls on :)
Friday, December 14, 2012
Please God...
A shearing pain explodes inside me as I read The Lion King tonight to my daughter. I could not help a choking voice as I read through Simba running away bearing the responsibility of his father's murder. My little one, does not understand why mommy is so emotional reading the Lion King may be for a 100th time. She hugs me, tells me its OK amma. Simba will grow and come back to scare bad Scar away.
My heart is elsewhere....all those little hearts that read this story with their parents at least once. All those little hands that touched their mom, dad and laughed and cried, and put up a drama to get what they wanted, threw a tantrum to eat, to dress up, planned for the weekend, wrote a wish list for Santa, tried to behave for the presents Santa'll bring....all those little hearts that stopped beating. All the empty homes that stand in the darkness this minute trying to cope with this uncanny truth...
Mahabharatha talks about "Kali" kalam, where things go completely crazy. Where the order of the world changes...but i do not remember reading about such cruelty. Even in madness its beyond belief. A drowsy numbness pains....my soul screeches.
Is this what it is going to be? How many guns are out there waiting to take away lives within seconds, God knows how long it takes for death to happen after a gun shot, but we know its takes about 10 months of incubation period for a human life. That 10 months gets nullified in less than 10 minutes? What agony is this?
Some scholars thought about the country when they wrote the first and second amendment/ yes. True. They lived in a time that required self protection and required weapons. What is the time we live in? What inventions advancement we have? What kind of law enforcement we have now? Do we still need the same laws to apply? We talk going forward in rewriting laws for what we want. Why can't we apply the same to the weapons?
God give the parents the strength to heal from their loss. Heal them with love and your power. Do not enrage even one from these families...yes, it is injustice. yes it is inhuman and unfair beyond reason. But the world cannot handle another loss of innocent lives...
My heart is elsewhere....all those little hearts that read this story with their parents at least once. All those little hands that touched their mom, dad and laughed and cried, and put up a drama to get what they wanted, threw a tantrum to eat, to dress up, planned for the weekend, wrote a wish list for Santa, tried to behave for the presents Santa'll bring....all those little hearts that stopped beating. All the empty homes that stand in the darkness this minute trying to cope with this uncanny truth...
Mahabharatha talks about "Kali" kalam, where things go completely crazy. Where the order of the world changes...but i do not remember reading about such cruelty. Even in madness its beyond belief. A drowsy numbness pains....my soul screeches.
Is this what it is going to be? How many guns are out there waiting to take away lives within seconds, God knows how long it takes for death to happen after a gun shot, but we know its takes about 10 months of incubation period for a human life. That 10 months gets nullified in less than 10 minutes? What agony is this?
Some scholars thought about the country when they wrote the first and second amendment/ yes. True. They lived in a time that required self protection and required weapons. What is the time we live in? What inventions advancement we have? What kind of law enforcement we have now? Do we still need the same laws to apply? We talk going forward in rewriting laws for what we want. Why can't we apply the same to the weapons?
God give the parents the strength to heal from their loss. Heal them with love and your power. Do not enrage even one from these families...yes, it is injustice. yes it is inhuman and unfair beyond reason. But the world cannot handle another loss of innocent lives...
This should not happen. Not there, not anywhere...
Where to start and where to stop? The nightmare the parents and community are living through this minute in Connecticut…if only it is a part of some horrible movie scene…? We all can feel, post and think about them and may be Pray for them. But coming to terms with their loss is OH MY GOD is absolutely unthinkable. What did those kids do? Those kids could have been any kids…we all have kids that go to different schools. Why should someone target these buds?
Can we do a root cause analysis to find the rotten root of this killing epidemic? The epidemic is spreading across America and the globe in various ways. Here it is spreading like a wild fire. Unless some action is taken to contain this wildfire, this epidemic may be the root cause for the fall of a huge Nation. A Nation that once beckoned the world as a dream Nation.
If I start listing the possible causes, - its endless and it touches every little thing we do as parents and individuals every day. What happened to the old fashioned courtesy? Caring? Love, Affection., Respect to the elders, God fearing attitude?
Why do we cultivate violence in the form of movies, games, books, talk in children from childhood? I am overwhelmed.
Why do we need weapons?
Can we do a root cause analysis to find the rotten root of this killing epidemic? The epidemic is spreading across America and the globe in various ways. Here it is spreading like a wild fire. Unless some action is taken to contain this wildfire, this epidemic may be the root cause for the fall of a huge Nation. A Nation that once beckoned the world as a dream Nation.
If I start listing the possible causes, - its endless and it touches every little thing we do as parents and individuals every day. What happened to the old fashioned courtesy? Caring? Love, Affection., Respect to the elders, God fearing attitude?
Why do we cultivate violence in the form of movies, games, books, talk in children from childhood? I am overwhelmed.
Why do we need weapons?
Friday, October 12, 2012
Unknown
Like the invisible cricket’s rhythm
On a serene cold night -
Gnaws a numbing persistent pain
With scratchy claws in vain.
Not near for years
The distance feed the fears
Life and death happen
One is known, the other so sudden.
One in expected ten months cycle
A mysterious known miracle
The other strikes out at will
In an unknown moment makes us null.
Across the miles soars my heart
Reaching out to a life in the past…
Reaching but not reaching
For answers I am still searching.
On a serene cold night -
Gnaws a numbing persistent pain
With scratchy claws in vain.
Not near for years
The distance feed the fears
Life and death happen
One is known, the other so sudden.
One in expected ten months cycle
A mysterious known miracle
The other strikes out at will
In an unknown moment makes us null.
Across the miles soars my heart
Reaching out to a life in the past…
Reaching but not reaching
For answers I am still searching.
Monday, October 8, 2012
Perfection
A little curve in that corner
Bit more color to the lips
Oh...add a shine to the hair...
Do not forget to correct the hips.
Looking for perfection
He is adding finishing touches
To his mind's reflection
Of a beauty's personification.
She looks little too bold
Lo... behold the eyes are li'l bit old...
Passing commentators pass
Looking and Not at the lass.
Multitudes of eyes see
Mindless of what he saw...
The perfection he portrayed
Only one pair of eyes know.
Bit more color to the lips
Oh...add a shine to the hair...
Do not forget to correct the hips.
Looking for perfection
He is adding finishing touches
To his mind's reflection
Of a beauty's personification.
She looks little too bold
Lo... behold the eyes are li'l bit old...
Passing commentators pass
Looking and Not at the lass.
Multitudes of eyes see
Mindless of what he saw...
The perfection he portrayed
Only one pair of eyes know.
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