A perfect roller coaster.
Sometimes life - both internal and external take a cool ride in a perfect roller coaster. A roller coaster ride is fun if you are a child or may be a teenager with no worry to crease your forehead and rob your sleep. But when you are a parent, in a far away country with your next immediate family is at least 30,000 miles away...well that is totally a different ball game.
We know we are journeying toward the inevitable. That is going to happen to us at some point. The only two things we cannot have any sort of control over or schedule are Birth and death. Well not exactly. I hear many parents have taken scheduling births based on the stars and calendars. Also the IVF has taken partial care of birth. But the second inevitable, death - well so far, except in corporal punishments, no one can have any control over. Well we can argue differently about the suicides and etc etc. But well...that is beyond my line of thoughts today.
The roller coaster begins when you hear some one in your life, or you know back from childhood is really unwell or passed. Then you want to control your mind's creative imagination very very unsuccessfully. Then you start having vivid nightmares, just thought flows etc etc. Imagination becomes a real handicap. You unconsciously start connecting invisible, non-existent dots. And start worrying. Its a phase. Doesn't stop until you just forcefully snap out of it.
Again I imagine, for all of us, with strong family ties, and living too far away this type of random roller coaster rides are common. And we live with it, pretending to ignore. And life moves on.
