My friend today suggested may be I am getting old as I always seem to contemplate on serious stuff. I really do not want to comment on it :). Well may be being a mom in an all competitive world has a hand in making me serious? Seriouly - oops there I go again :) I do love to laugh a lot and can never pass a chance to laugh out loud like readingDubukku's blogs or watching a funny AFV etc. Still this news article in today's yahoo kindled my thoughts - well as you guessed it, fears as a mother.
6 Indian American kids in the past 10 years have become spelling bee champions. Wow a great achievement indeed. I am always amazed at the spelling bee contest so much so that I stopped watching that from last year. I really could not bring myself to understand the total uncanny perception these wonder kids have about a the spelling. (I must confess - I do depend a lot on spell check, auto correct etc etc for my spellings).
Now three spelling bee champions want to become neurosurgeons. They are mostly 5th and 6th graders. But still they have their future all mapped out to the finest career choice. God Bless them.
Going a little bit backward in my meory lane, I remember my son wanting to be a Trash truck Driver, Mail man, Astronaut, and while visiting in Monerey Bay Aquarium, he really really wanted to be a diver/fish feeder in the acquarium. After listening to a few more careers he wanted to choose, I got too worried and stopped asking him about it.
I don't know if my kids ever step on the spelling bee contest podium - not that I wish for - but I wonder what would be their career choices a few years from now.
Oflate I seem to read only about drastically painful fiscal state of California state. Is there a intelligent fincial analyst or politician to plan an economic revival? God save the world.
As recession deepens, I feel a shadow, the shadow of fear dampen our lives in this Land of Opportunity, Freedom and Safety. As the opportunities dwindle, freedom and safety seem to vanish in thin air too.
Until recently I was so unafraid to go to Safeway after 11:00 PM, grab a cup of Java from Starbucks and browse through the aisles, just to wind down, relax and shop in peace for weekly groceries. Now, I do not want to step out after dark. Some strange sense of insecurity prevails. My husband calls me insane sometimes. I don't know.
Just yesterday, California Governor is announcing serious cuts on Education, Health care and Law Enforcement. Like a color blind person searching for a black cat in the darkness, the government is trying to grapple with the 21 Billion budget deficit. But is this decision or proposal to cut on the heart of Future and nerve of today wise?? What happened to the priorities? Or is the strongest claws of recession disable us and misplace the priorities?
Reading news paper everyday is a habit I grew up with ever since childhood. As a child and youngster I don't think I have ever worried about anything else except latest news, gossip and may be book reviews. Those days Hindu Sunday paper used to have a literary supplement or some such thing, Tuesday paper had a boxed column that teaches English expressions. Beyond that Young world puzzles and comic strips are all I can remember reading.
Now my relationship with Mercury News is little different. I do not know if I should attribute to age, maturity - I am well aware that age and maturity do not correspond with each other many times :), or a change in outlook on life. I do not miss Roadshow, action line and letters to the editor. Also, I do spend a little time of Obituary.
Call me weird or crazy I pause and read Obituaries in the West Valley section. There are always little write ups on the life stories of people. Most of them, from all walks of life, born from all parts of the world, had lived well. But today's Obituary shocked me well beyond compare. A little boy, Stephen, Nov 06 to May 09, Bless his soul, has passed away. His sweet sunny photo and the write up really was very moving. I tried to visualize the parents pain. Though we have an experience of a loss in the early days of marriage and in mid pregnancy, I cannot comprehend the pain. God Bless the parents.
Being a woman myself, I have always wondered what a fathomless passage a woman's heart is. Can any one, including the woman herself ever understand the thought process her mind/heart is involved in?? I wonder.
Fear not my friend, I'm not doing a self examination here! Its just the frustrated output of a fruitless endeavor I was involved involuntarily in over the past two weeks. When a family is distorted, I feel sad and the typical 'do gooder' monster hiding way deep inside starts showing up with a flashing message "You can do something, try try try try try..." When the cry gets too much, yours truly springs into action with full energy, only to spring back into the shell all confused, manipulated and frustrated.
I thought I can be really honest with myself and sincere to another friend, to understand the issues. But looks like I am totally lost. You know when there is a path to reconciliate, if some one does not want to re conciliate what can you - the third person do? You do not agree with that person's way of life. Can you let your values be infringed?
Wow we hear so much about men's inability to understand women's thoughts. So true. Its only an elusive enigma. A royal mirage. The closer you get, the farther you feel.
How physical is too physical in the Basketball game? - The players are getting too physical in the 2nd round of play offs. I am not a great game watcher, but would love to watch the game, if Lakers play whenever possible with my son and husband - both Lakers fanatics. My son, an aspiring basketball player, though only 6 years old - is all too familiar with teams, kind of fouls, and other intricate nuances of the game, I am still working on to decipher.
I am kind of reminded of Gladiator's and Russel Crowe - you know the only Gladiator face I could relate to :). In ancient Rome, the all too powerful Kings had colosseum and Gladiators to entertain the public and to punish those the Kings wanted to punish. The Gladiator game seemed to have attracted huge mass and was very cruelly physical.
In today's modern sophisticated world, we ofcourse cannot have Gladiators. But we all still might have our barbaric past hidden somehwere in our Freudian SuperEgo. I guess thats why we have these oh so physical NBA's NFL's etc etc. I am NOT trying to demean the importance of sports and team work. But what gets to me is the hidden barbarism. The players pushing each other so hard to win a title. The coaches not letting a seriously hurt player rest, like Yao Ming's coach did today. How much it would have hurt Yao's parent to see their son hop through the court in pain. His knee was badly hurt, even I could descern it on screen.
My son does love basketball and dreams big to be on Lakers team and play in NBA. But as a mom would I want my son to be there? I don't know.
I got a cute, all scribbles over, colorful, funny to read hat book today from my older one. it started something like this "My mommy wears lot of different hats..." He had written about things I had taught him, cooked for him and enjoyed with him. What interesting observation and funny imaginations these 6 year olds have. Ouch 6 years??? is it already 6 years?
Life seems to be flying on a wings. It was just like yesterday, a warm Friday afternoon my little one greeted the world. And its three years! All my visits to emergency units, urgent care, frantic calls to pediatricians, midnight runs to pharmacies, everything seems so distant. In spite of a most dramatic infancy and toddlerhood, this little girl never stops to amaze me with her resiliance, curiosity and enthusiasm.
Its interesting to see her hold conversations with adults in the haircut shop, libraries and grocery stores. Is the fearless attitude an attribute of infancy or a sample of character? The abundance of love she showers on us is one of the two things that keeps me going on the mommy job with endless appointments, chauffeuring, play dates and 'oh no baby because you are 2nd, I am not spending enough time with you' guilt trips.
A toothy grin, a warm hug, some sloppy kisses and 'mommy you look cute' dialogues - ahh... "God is in his heaven and all is well with the world"
Thank God for children, they make the world livable.
God bless her and lets wish Ramya success.
