Communications lesson on a weekend morning!

And so it started. The expectations. And the frustrations. Life revolves around a bunch of expectations. When we go to sleep, we expect to wake up. Sometimes it happens :) Start to drive to work expecting to arrive in 30 minutes. Many times this doesn't. We set our expectations around the norm. that limits the frustrations.

We can wake up at any time that works for us. But someone in the household builds an expectation on "your" wake up time. What happens next? Lets say your teenager expects you to wake up at 7 AM on a weekend for a pancake breakfast. And you wake up at 8. And ask your teenager to eat hot cereal instead. What happens?

Your teenager's expectations is not met. That builds frustrations in him. You, on the other hand, didn't know he had that expectation on a pancake breakfast. So keep doing what you usually do. This frustrated disappointed son just does not want to eat the cereal and throws a tantrum. You lose your cool. And the weekend begins.

If you and your son discussed the plan for breakfast the night before, you would have had a blissful weekend and a happy teenager this weekend. You didn't. So is it only you who needs to learn a lesson of asking before preparing breakfast lesson? Or your son needs to ask for what he wants before? May be you both didn't even discuss to communicate what you both had about breakfast in mind.

So what do you think would have made this day better? Communications. Communication as a mother and child. Communication within the family. We all live and work in today's world that exist as much connected and as much in silos. Thanks to technology. With all the social media, TV, cell phone, laptops and ipads blinking and glaring in a living room, communicating effectively and clearly with each other about the plans to tomorrow sets the expectations right. Keeps the frustrations at bay.

 

The uninitiated

Would you rather wish being
Washed away in a tsunami
To this ceaseless moaning of
Endless splashing?

The far away cricket on a
Silent sleepless night
Constant gnawing of
Something forgotten on a long road trip...

Its your speed that determines
Death or destination on a
Mountain road with a lot of
Gentle turns .


You are in and yet you are not
It is there... but not really so
For the uninitiated - its all the same -
Tornados , hurricanes and a gentle breeze....

சின்ன மகளே

சின்ன விரலால் நெற்றி தொட்டு
மின்னல் குரலில் நெஞ்சம் தொட்டு
பள்ளி செல்லும் அந்த வேளையில்
துள்ளும் கனவை என்னில் விடும்
சின்ன மகளே-
உன்னில் என்னை  வைத்துப்பார்க்க
உள்ளம் முழுதும் ஏங்கும் போதும்
அந்த எண்ணம் தூக்கி எங்கோ போட
விரைந்து வரும் நனவுக்காலம்-
நானாய் இருந்த காலம் கொஞ்சம்
தானாய் வாழ்க்கை பிடியில்
இறுகி இளகி சிரித்து அழுது
ஓடும் நாட்களில் ஓடும் கனவாய்  வேண்டாம் மகளே
நீயாய் இருந்து
நிஜமாய் நிழலாய் அனலாய் குளிராய்
எல்லா முகமும் நன்றாய் உணர்ந்து
ஓட்டம் நடுவில் அமைதி புரிந்து
சிரிப்பாய் சிறப்பாய் இருப்பாய் மகளே ....

Granted

Some days, life cruises by you when you are still trying to figure out what exactly went swooshing by. Some weekends are gone in a flash. Like this one. I had about a million things to do. Work, go with my son to watch him play, volunteer a little bit, visit a friend recovering from surgery, do some shopping to get the house ready for March, my best friend's visit, cook lunch, complete a bunch of assignments that I had agreed to complete.

And its almost 11:15 Sunday night. I am still trying to finish up my work. But not focusing. Too distracted. Life seems sometimes so taken for granted in all aspects. I hadn't called my parents this evening, neither my sister nor my friend. Cousin yes. he tried to explain forgetting something special...we all understand. Like I said, between running around and sick kids, life swooshes by. Its OK. As long as we care.

Hadn't washed any of the cloths from all the three laundry baskets. All three of them overflowing with cloths that need washing. Hadn't planned any of the weeknight's meal or shopped for fresh veggies. (Well stocked up of frozen veggies, so they'll come in handy). We have no apples or bananas.

We drove about 250 to 300 miles this week end only, for the practices, games, scouting and volunteering. I called a few of my friends here. Visited a couple between practices and driving back home.

I didn't make time to exercise this weekend. We ate an entire day of fast food yeaterday. No veggies involved... We shopped for another round of shoes and cloths for kids. In a few hours, the morning will be here. Another week of rushing and running.

Am I taking life for granted? How long am I going to run around like this taking my parents and my immediate family for granted? Letting other folks I care about, including my kids to take me for granted?
Where is the mutual-ness (is there a word like this?) in everything? The sharing, caring and support - am I taking that too for granted?

Kural-amutham

A tiny seed started couple of years ago, shows promises of growing to be a big banyan tree to provide a shady support for treasured Thirukkural. Bay area Fine Arts Thirukkural Competition 2015.

About 230 kids and adults. I am sure more than 1330 kural recited. Recited with meaning. More than $8000 in prizes. Its all from a little seed and a lot of water. If we look at the seed as the origination of thought, the water is the volunteer energy. A completely passion fueled energy motivates the young and not so young Tamil immigrant community in the bay area to revisit a tiny book with enormous meaning. I can only compare Kural with atomic power. Its just so small, 7 words of all, one and a half sentence long.

I was lucky enough to be there for a brief period to listen to an amazing 11 year old and another amazing mom J The 11 year old recited 100 Kural with meaning. And I could discern that she had a clear understanding of what she was saying from her confident demeanor. The friend recited 129. She is a busy mom of two kids, working full time and taking care of family. She still made time to learn,  and recite. What dedication!

Reading Kural is all about understanding and following. I hope the Bay Area Fine Arts continues nurturing the inspiration to learn Thirukkural among the Tamil community not only in the bay area, but slowly in all of the USA and all over the world.

The far away past...

Gently frozen memories of yesterday

Refuses to thaw in harsh sunlight

Cold, hard and not forgotten

In the deepest darkest chambers so faraway

Refusing to melt vaporize and vanish

In shafts of blinding sunlight…

Sending shivers of chilled memories

Sits that far away past-