A shearing pain explodes inside me as I read The Lion King tonight to my daughter. I could not help a choking voice as I read through Simba running away bearing the responsibility of his father's murder. My little one, does not understand why mommy is so emotional reading the Lion King may be for a 100th time. She hugs me, tells me its OK amma. Simba will grow and come back to scare bad Scar away.
My heart is elsewhere....all those little hearts that read this story with their parents at least once. All those little hands that touched their mom, dad and laughed and cried, and put up a drama to get what they wanted, threw a tantrum to eat, to dress up, planned for the weekend, wrote a wish list for Santa, tried to behave for the presents Santa'll bring....all those little hearts that stopped beating. All the empty homes that stand in the darkness this minute trying to cope with this uncanny truth...
Mahabharatha talks about "Kali" kalam, where things go completely crazy. Where the order of the world changes...but i do not remember reading about such cruelty. Even in madness its beyond belief. A drowsy numbness pains....my soul screeches.
Is this what it is going to be? How many guns are out there waiting to take away lives within seconds, God knows how long it takes for death to happen after a gun shot, but we know its takes about 10 months of incubation period for a human life. That 10 months gets nullified in less than 10 minutes? What agony is this?
Some scholars thought about the country when they wrote the first and second amendment/ yes. True. They lived in a time that required self protection and required weapons. What is the time we live in? What inventions advancement we have? What kind of law enforcement we have now? Do we still need the same laws to apply? We talk going forward in rewriting laws for what we want. Why can't we apply the same to the weapons?
God give the parents the strength to heal from their loss. Heal them with love and your power. Do not enrage even one from these families...yes, it is injustice. yes it is inhuman and unfair beyond reason. But the world cannot handle another loss of innocent lives...
Friday, December 14, 2012
This should not happen. Not there, not anywhere...
Where to start and where to stop? The nightmare the parents and community are living through this minute in Connecticut…if only it is a part of some horrible movie scene…? We all can feel, post and think about them and may be Pray for them. But coming to terms with their loss is OH MY GOD is absolutely unthinkable. What did those kids do? Those kids could have been any kids…we all have kids that go to different schools. Why should someone target these buds?
Can we do a root cause analysis to find the rotten root of this killing epidemic? The epidemic is spreading across America and the globe in various ways. Here it is spreading like a wild fire. Unless some action is taken to contain this wildfire, this epidemic may be the root cause for the fall of a huge Nation. A Nation that once beckoned the world as a dream Nation.
If I start listing the possible causes, - its endless and it touches every little thing we do as parents and individuals every day. What happened to the old fashioned courtesy? Caring? Love, Affection., Respect to the elders, God fearing attitude?
Why do we cultivate violence in the form of movies, games, books, talk in children from childhood? I am overwhelmed.
Why do we need weapons?
Can we do a root cause analysis to find the rotten root of this killing epidemic? The epidemic is spreading across America and the globe in various ways. Here it is spreading like a wild fire. Unless some action is taken to contain this wildfire, this epidemic may be the root cause for the fall of a huge Nation. A Nation that once beckoned the world as a dream Nation.
If I start listing the possible causes, - its endless and it touches every little thing we do as parents and individuals every day. What happened to the old fashioned courtesy? Caring? Love, Affection., Respect to the elders, God fearing attitude?
Why do we cultivate violence in the form of movies, games, books, talk in children from childhood? I am overwhelmed.
Why do we need weapons?
Friday, October 12, 2012
Unknown
Like the invisible cricket’s rhythm
On a serene cold night -
Gnaws a numbing persistent pain
With scratchy claws in vain.
Not near for years
The distance feed the fears
Life and death happen
One is known, the other so sudden.
One in expected ten months cycle
A mysterious known miracle
The other strikes out at will
In an unknown moment makes us null.
Across the miles soars my heart
Reaching out to a life in the past…
Reaching but not reaching
For answers I am still searching.
On a serene cold night -
Gnaws a numbing persistent pain
With scratchy claws in vain.
Not near for years
The distance feed the fears
Life and death happen
One is known, the other so sudden.
One in expected ten months cycle
A mysterious known miracle
The other strikes out at will
In an unknown moment makes us null.
Across the miles soars my heart
Reaching out to a life in the past…
Reaching but not reaching
For answers I am still searching.
Monday, October 8, 2012
Perfection
A little curve in that corner
Bit more color to the lips
Oh...add a shine to the hair...
Do not forget to correct the hips.
Looking for perfection
He is adding finishing touches
To his mind's reflection
Of a beauty's personification.
She looks little too bold
Lo... behold the eyes are li'l bit old...
Passing commentators pass
Looking and Not at the lass.
Multitudes of eyes see
Mindless of what he saw...
The perfection he portrayed
Only one pair of eyes know.
Bit more color to the lips
Oh...add a shine to the hair...
Do not forget to correct the hips.
Looking for perfection
He is adding finishing touches
To his mind's reflection
Of a beauty's personification.
She looks little too bold
Lo... behold the eyes are li'l bit old...
Passing commentators pass
Looking and Not at the lass.
Multitudes of eyes see
Mindless of what he saw...
The perfection he portrayed
Only one pair of eyes know.
Saturday, October 6, 2012
Solitude
Delightful solitude
Fills in, ever so gently...
Far away moments caress my thoughts...
Bringing back a childhood lost
Swaying in a lazy autumn afternoon
The leaf doesn't fall -
In a tantalizing wind, only
Floats down with a warm dignity
Fallen leaves never get back
Lost childhood never comes back...
New leaves grow for another fall and
Memories we collect for another cherished moment
Such is life...
Savor, cherish and save some moments
For another solitude
That'll wander your way, on a rare cold evening.
Fills in, ever so gently...
Far away moments caress my thoughts...
Bringing back a childhood lost
Swaying in a lazy autumn afternoon
The leaf doesn't fall -
In a tantalizing wind, only
Floats down with a warm dignity
Fallen leaves never get back
Lost childhood never comes back...
New leaves grow for another fall and
Memories we collect for another cherished moment
Such is life...
Savor, cherish and save some moments
For another solitude
That'll wander your way, on a rare cold evening.
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Thaali
I am definitely not talking about not what you order at a South Indian restaurant on a hungry afternoon.
Very recently I heard an observation on “Thaali” – the Mangal Sutra, the Western wedding ring equivalent of South Indian necklace. Someone said wearing it feels like having a dog leash on. To make sure to mark that the woman is the male owner’s property. I just felt WOW. This is a very interesting interpretation of the Thaali. Do married South Indian women, wearing thaali feel like it in general? So not wearing the thaali is a rebellion showing female independence?
Well....I never can compare thaali with dependence. Infact, it has liberated me in so many ways. But that is a whole different discussion. Now on to what I really wanted to share here...
Wearing or not wearing that ornament is a personal choice. Some married women living in western countries might find a long gold or yellow threaded necklace uncomfortable. It would not go with the outfits they wear, it might look odd at their work place and they might have chosen not to wear it. Yet another set might just not feel attached to thaali, an external element to prove their married bondage, love affection and whatever else they share in the marriage. Again personal belief and convenience. So if someone decides not to wear the thaali, its their choice. I understand.
What confuses me is yet another approach. This approach is, oh well I live in America. None of my friends wear it. So I will not. But if I go to the temple, or visit India or wear Indian cloths, I will wear it. I am truly not trying to judge, but trying understand this attitude. Is there a underlying confusion? Is there an element of feminist rebellion? Is that to prove something to someone? If yes, then who and what? I am fine with this approach as well, as long as they do not take a condescending take on those wearing the thaali. This uncalled for attitude is what confuses me. Why? if you make a personal choice and if that makes you happy, then go for it. What the other person does or doesn't is that person's choice...
A co-worker asked me something few months ago. I was eating lunch at the cafeteria with the team, where most of the members from India are vegetarians. I am not a vegetarian. And I was eating pasta with sausage. This non-Indian co-worker cannot believe that I, an Indian wearing bindi and a gold necklace, eating sausage. She asked me, “Are you not worried what your other Indian co-workers will think of what you are eating?”. I said, “this is my food. I am eating what I like to eat. So, I do not have a problem. If they do not eat meat, I respect that I will not comment on it. And if someone comments on what I am eating, I am sorry, but I don’t care.”
Doing what we believe in with conviction will be quiet, and will fit in naturally. Doing things to fit in will become pretentious…at some point.Something more on the same lines...
Very recently I heard an observation on “Thaali” – the Mangal Sutra, the Western wedding ring equivalent of South Indian necklace. Someone said wearing it feels like having a dog leash on. To make sure to mark that the woman is the male owner’s property. I just felt WOW. This is a very interesting interpretation of the Thaali. Do married South Indian women, wearing thaali feel like it in general? So not wearing the thaali is a rebellion showing female independence?
Well....I never can compare thaali with dependence. Infact, it has liberated me in so many ways. But that is a whole different discussion. Now on to what I really wanted to share here...
Wearing or not wearing that ornament is a personal choice. Some married women living in western countries might find a long gold or yellow threaded necklace uncomfortable. It would not go with the outfits they wear, it might look odd at their work place and they might have chosen not to wear it. Yet another set might just not feel attached to thaali, an external element to prove their married bondage, love affection and whatever else they share in the marriage. Again personal belief and convenience. So if someone decides not to wear the thaali, its their choice. I understand.
What confuses me is yet another approach. This approach is, oh well I live in America. None of my friends wear it. So I will not. But if I go to the temple, or visit India or wear Indian cloths, I will wear it. I am truly not trying to judge, but trying understand this attitude. Is there a underlying confusion? Is there an element of feminist rebellion? Is that to prove something to someone? If yes, then who and what? I am fine with this approach as well, as long as they do not take a condescending take on those wearing the thaali. This uncalled for attitude is what confuses me. Why? if you make a personal choice and if that makes you happy, then go for it. What the other person does or doesn't is that person's choice...
A co-worker asked me something few months ago. I was eating lunch at the cafeteria with the team, where most of the members from India are vegetarians. I am not a vegetarian. And I was eating pasta with sausage. This non-Indian co-worker cannot believe that I, an Indian wearing bindi and a gold necklace, eating sausage. She asked me, “Are you not worried what your other Indian co-workers will think of what you are eating?”. I said, “this is my food. I am eating what I like to eat. So, I do not have a problem. If they do not eat meat, I respect that I will not comment on it. And if someone comments on what I am eating, I am sorry, but I don’t care.”
Doing what we believe in with conviction will be quiet, and will fit in naturally. Doing things to fit in will become pretentious…at some point.Something more on the same lines...
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
On human rights...1. Religion
We all have our right to religion. Whatever religion we follow is our choice. We can follow anything we believe in. Following a religion, does not mean hurting the others that do not follow the same. No religion talks about hurting others.
We do not have the right to ridicule or make fun of other religions as well. As much as what we follow is ours, what others follow is theirs. Being sensitive to faith and belief is one of an important survival requirement.
Live your life your way, and let others live their life their way. Never get behind the superiority feeling. Because truly absolutely everyone is the same. We may believe in lot of different things. But we all need food when we are hungry, sleep to stay healthy and love to keep us going. NONE of us can live without these three human needs. Then how can someone be a superior or inferior to someone else?
Above all - all humans die. Immortality is not even a remote possibility, even with all the science and technology. Knowing that we all die one day, someday...sooner or later...why be unhappy?
We do not have the right to ridicule or make fun of other religions as well. As much as what we follow is ours, what others follow is theirs. Being sensitive to faith and belief is one of an important survival requirement.
Live your life your way, and let others live their life their way. Never get behind the superiority feeling. Because truly absolutely everyone is the same. We may believe in lot of different things. But we all need food when we are hungry, sleep to stay healthy and love to keep us going. NONE of us can live without these three human needs. Then how can someone be a superior or inferior to someone else?
Above all - all humans die. Immortality is not even a remote possibility, even with all the science and technology. Knowing that we all die one day, someday...sooner or later...why be unhappy?
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Pain
What makes a child pout and scream? What triggers a toddler hit another? What causes an elementary school kid bully? Why does a teen hurt? What makes someone just shoot at random? What made someone create the disastrous nuke that haunts innocents even today in Hiroshima and Nagasaki? Why did a meticulous plan made unsuspecting humans die a gruesome death on 9/11? And why does people so inhumanly treat fellow humans in SriLanka and Syria and all over the world???
Anger? hatred? madness? It all stems from one human...and works its way into the society, and spreads like a forest fire in perfect dry, windy, hot condition. Of course hatred and anger are hot red feelings. As those feelings churn inside a human, they burn everything around and inside...
From time immemorial, as far as the humans have a tractable history, we have had anger, hatred and of course war. But back them people had a reason, motive to kill. The wars happened in the outskirts and the innocent citizens were protected. Now that we are evolved in everything, killing innocents is the new revenge. If someone gets mad, they decide to take a gun and shoot at random - killing normal innocent, completely unconnected human beings...and when another country wants to take it out, just drop a bomb or find some innovative way to mass destruct. Even within the same country, things that affects us so strongly happen and people live and die through it...
Isn't it simply crazy to think about? It was 9/11 yesterday and a family that lost found a hand written note from that person, apparently he wrote and threw out the window before dying. His bloody thumb print was DNA checked to confirm it was him who wrote it. It was his last attempt to reach our to humanity while suffering God knows what amount of pain and anguish...God I shudder to imagine such pain. And this family thought he had died a sudden death. The anguish this note causes is true not to just that family but every single one lost in every single gruesome incident. And every single human being who still have sensitivity to fellow human.
I still want to believe this is a peaceful place to live and try all I can to impart the value of humanity to my children. But I cannot erase the agony of living in the world especially, in this dream turned nightmare.
Anger? hatred? madness? It all stems from one human...and works its way into the society, and spreads like a forest fire in perfect dry, windy, hot condition. Of course hatred and anger are hot red feelings. As those feelings churn inside a human, they burn everything around and inside...
From time immemorial, as far as the humans have a tractable history, we have had anger, hatred and of course war. But back them people had a reason, motive to kill. The wars happened in the outskirts and the innocent citizens were protected. Now that we are evolved in everything, killing innocents is the new revenge. If someone gets mad, they decide to take a gun and shoot at random - killing normal innocent, completely unconnected human beings...and when another country wants to take it out, just drop a bomb or find some innovative way to mass destruct. Even within the same country, things that affects us so strongly happen and people live and die through it...
Isn't it simply crazy to think about? It was 9/11 yesterday and a family that lost found a hand written note from that person, apparently he wrote and threw out the window before dying. His bloody thumb print was DNA checked to confirm it was him who wrote it. It was his last attempt to reach our to humanity while suffering God knows what amount of pain and anguish...God I shudder to imagine such pain. And this family thought he had died a sudden death. The anguish this note causes is true not to just that family but every single one lost in every single gruesome incident. And every single human being who still have sensitivity to fellow human.
I still want to believe this is a peaceful place to live and try all I can to impart the value of humanity to my children. But I cannot erase the agony of living in the world especially, in this dream turned nightmare.
Sunday, September 9, 2012
A Prayer
If we know the answers for the "if"s and "but"s of our lives, we will have no "why"s. Sometimes certain things happen. We know that hurts. From our perspective, its extremely unfair. We also know that God has a reason. That is if we believe in Him. But why? Why should something happen to someone...anyone? Why not give life, let live and take away the life when time comes? Why the suffering, pain for the one who goes through and for those around? Nope - Its no use asking. Its again the unexplainable mystery of God, Nature or whatever...
Just heard someon I know is in a phase of serious suffering. I have seen that in my family as well. This suffereing, like a crab, hides and surfaces at its will from unknown regions. When you hear such information what do you Pray? I tried praying. Really. But was at a serious loss of words... what to ask for...do I ask for cure? My pramatism knows its really a long road filled with pain and even more suffering. So do I ask a free from pain phase? I know what it means. God its so painfully confusing.
Now God, whatever your plans are, just take care and give strength to the sufferer and all those around to deal with it and come out in peace. Give them light to see you and feel you. In moments of pain and anger, let them come closer to you and not far... I know not what to ask...I know you have your own reasons...So God, you do what you think is best and take care of the mortals in the way that will bring us much closer to you in spirit and being.
Just heard someon I know is in a phase of serious suffering. I have seen that in my family as well. This suffereing, like a crab, hides and surfaces at its will from unknown regions. When you hear such information what do you Pray? I tried praying. Really. But was at a serious loss of words... what to ask for...do I ask for cure? My pramatism knows its really a long road filled with pain and even more suffering. So do I ask a free from pain phase? I know what it means. God its so painfully confusing.
Now God, whatever your plans are, just take care and give strength to the sufferer and all those around to deal with it and come out in peace. Give them light to see you and feel you. In moments of pain and anger, let them come closer to you and not far... I know not what to ask...I know you have your own reasons...So God, you do what you think is best and take care of the mortals in the way that will bring us much closer to you in spirit and being.
Thursday, September 6, 2012
காதல்
காற்றைப்போலே எங்கும் நிறைக்கும்
நினைவே மெல்ல நெஞ்சில் வருடும்
காலம் என்பது கனவாய் கரைய
வாழும் நாட்கள் நனவில் நிறைக்க
நாட்கள் வாரங்கள் மாதங்கள்
வருடங்களும் கூட கடந்த போதும்
காதல் தந்த சொந்தம் என்றும்
இதமாய் சுகமாய் இனிதான சுமையாய் ....
நினைவே மெல்ல நெஞ்சில் வருடும்
காலம் என்பது கனவாய் கரைய
வாழும் நாட்கள் நனவில் நிறைக்க
நாட்கள் வாரங்கள் மாதங்கள்
வருடங்களும் கூட கடந்த போதும்
காதல் தந்த சொந்தம் என்றும்
இதமாய் சுகமாய் இனிதான சுமையாய் ....
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Impact
Banging, crowding, shuffling
Thoughts flood the mind...
These random moments with
Rapid bustle of words paralyzes.
Yet another news
Just another post
Stops not these waves
Flowing at a will of its own.
Thoughts flood the mind...
These random moments with
Rapid bustle of words paralyzes.
Yet another news
Just another post
Stops not these waves
Flowing at a will of its own.
Friday, August 10, 2012
That something...
That something keeps returning-
A momentary monument
A monumental moment
A gentle lingering warmth
A sudden shivering cold...
Life's passing moments
Simple forever pleasures
Confusingly complex feelings
Accumulates making me what I am...
I live many lives a day.
The person I am
The person I want to be
The person I wish I was
The person I might be if I did...
Through everything
This something keeps returning
That keeps me going
The bittersweet memory...
That shadows me forever.
A momentary monument
A monumental moment
A gentle lingering warmth
A sudden shivering cold...
Life's passing moments
Simple forever pleasures
Confusingly complex feelings
Accumulates making me what I am...
I live many lives a day.
The person I am
The person I want to be
The person I wish I was
The person I might be if I did...
Through everything
This something keeps returning
That keeps me going
The bittersweet memory...
That shadows me forever.
Monday, August 6, 2012
A nightmare
It’s a dream turned nightmare. The American dream slowly deteriorating into a nightmare. Its not new. Its not old. It’s here forever in the society. The deadly weapons. Why? Do we belong to an age that needs us to hunt for our meal? Don't we have a security, protection system? Are we living in uncivilized nation of barbarians and cannibals that a common man needs weapons? What makes the sellers sell them? And what makes the buyers buy them? What makes someone decide to kill people?
Seemingly innocent, responsible citizens of this beautiful country own weapons. And when they get upset over something, they just decide to kill people. And the seemingly resonsible citizens who govern do not want to do anything about it. To regulate. To stop. To protect. because they might have one stashed away in their closet as well. What is the logic of someone walking on a theater and shooting at individuals they this someone has no connection with? What is the logic in walking into a temple, mall, school, university and shooting at unsuspecting people going about their prayer or everyday routine?
Living in a constant fear doesn't call this nation a land of opportunity. We all make noises when something like this happen. Share our condolences on the social networks. Some of us are scared even to do that. Because we don't want to share our personal opinions in public in fear of invoking someone's wrath. God - what has this country come to? Is it really the end of the world? The second coming is near? Things are seriously falling apart and the center cannot hold...
If ever there needs to be a WW III, it must be on the society, by the society. This war must stop all social degeneration, deterioration and detoxicate the individuals. Destroy all weapons, instill humanitarianism, bring out the natural humane approach. bring out a green revolution. Live and let live the fellow humans...Oh God – that’s my dream. I shudder to live this nightmare.
Seemingly innocent, responsible citizens of this beautiful country own weapons. And when they get upset over something, they just decide to kill people. And the seemingly resonsible citizens who govern do not want to do anything about it. To regulate. To stop. To protect. because they might have one stashed away in their closet as well. What is the logic of someone walking on a theater and shooting at individuals they this someone has no connection with? What is the logic in walking into a temple, mall, school, university and shooting at unsuspecting people going about their prayer or everyday routine?
Living in a constant fear doesn't call this nation a land of opportunity. We all make noises when something like this happen. Share our condolences on the social networks. Some of us are scared even to do that. Because we don't want to share our personal opinions in public in fear of invoking someone's wrath. God - what has this country come to? Is it really the end of the world? The second coming is near? Things are seriously falling apart and the center cannot hold...
If ever there needs to be a WW III, it must be on the society, by the society. This war must stop all social degeneration, deterioration and detoxicate the individuals. Destroy all weapons, instill humanitarianism, bring out the natural humane approach. bring out a green revolution. Live and let live the fellow humans...Oh God – that’s my dream. I shudder to live this nightmare.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Waves
Endlessness of waves is always an alluring enigma. It’s so baffling to me that i always end up getting tired after simply sitting and watching the waves hit the shore in various levels of ferocity. When normal, it’s like a lover's hug. Ocean being the loving woman, hugging the land lover with tireless repetition. And mind you, never once this egoistic land returns the hug. And shudder to imagine what it would be if ever land tries to return! Sometimes it also feels like the mother giving her energy, attention, love and happiness to the children endlessly, who are as flat and emotionless and always takes the moms for granted like the land.
As the depth on the shore increases, the height of the waves increase. This summer I had the opportunity to visit quite a few beaches on the Pacific shores. Each beach is unique. Its all water, well...salt water, its all sand and its all Pacific. But one beach had only all rocks and pebbles - absolutely no sand. And the water was calm - though a few feet from the water's edge looked deep and forbidding. Another beach, lovely, white, soft, clean almost sugar like sand. Clean gentle waves. Another beach - so scenic. Mountain on the other side, beautiful blue waters with little caves on the ocean side. But very ferocious wave, deep waters and huge waves.
What’s my connection with waves? The unfathomable ocean endlessly pulls me during moments of internal chaos. The sound of waves crashing on the shores competes with the silent scream of voices inside that are so deafening. When I return a serenity engulfs my whole being. It is as if, the endless waves and the ocean depths have given me a newer understanding. As you go deep down, only a monumental silence will prevail. All the peripheral noises are only peripheral. So go deep. And stay calm.
As the depth on the shore increases, the height of the waves increase. This summer I had the opportunity to visit quite a few beaches on the Pacific shores. Each beach is unique. Its all water, well...salt water, its all sand and its all Pacific. But one beach had only all rocks and pebbles - absolutely no sand. And the water was calm - though a few feet from the water's edge looked deep and forbidding. Another beach, lovely, white, soft, clean almost sugar like sand. Clean gentle waves. Another beach - so scenic. Mountain on the other side, beautiful blue waters with little caves on the ocean side. But very ferocious wave, deep waters and huge waves.
What’s my connection with waves? The unfathomable ocean endlessly pulls me during moments of internal chaos. The sound of waves crashing on the shores competes with the silent scream of voices inside that are so deafening. When I return a serenity engulfs my whole being. It is as if, the endless waves and the ocean depths have given me a newer understanding. As you go deep down, only a monumental silence will prevail. All the peripheral noises are only peripheral. So go deep. And stay calm.
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
An accidnet
Some infoirmation hits right at the core of your very being and brings back hoards of unwanted memories. Loss, any kind of loss really hurts. I am very aware of the delicate mortality of human life. But that does not take away the sudden rush of emotions, pain and sympathy - not to metion the forzen moments of serious fear.
This is a huge world. And God is really having fun His toys - the humans. Life and death happen every moments in some corner across the globe. All species are giving birth to and dying. Yet, the loss of a child, an accident that could have been avoided...I know we will have 1 million what ifs for a situation like this. Nothing is going to take away the pain and suffering from the parents and the neighbor.
http://www.sfgate.com/bayarea/article/Cupertino-boy-5-killed-by-car-backing-up-3716756.php
This is a huge world. And God is really having fun His toys - the humans. Life and death happen every moments in some corner across the globe. All species are giving birth to and dying. Yet, the loss of a child, an accident that could have been avoided...I know we will have 1 million what ifs for a situation like this. Nothing is going to take away the pain and suffering from the parents and the neighbor.
http://www.sfgate.com/bayarea/article/Cupertino-boy-5-killed-by-car-backing-up-3716756.php
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Those 2 minutes...
A lot can happen in two minutes. Wait - a lot can happen in just a split second. But the two minutes...two minutes of wait can save you from a lot of things happening. Yes, this sounds about right. Two minute or make it three - of waiting in line, waiting for the red light to turn green, thinking before you speak, being on hold to speak to someone...is absolutely OK. Do not get frustrated with such wait times, People. Make this time yours.
You are in the grocery store with just a single can of milk in hand. Yes, carrying cold gallon of milk can be heavy. The person ahead of you has cart full of stuff and talking to the clerk. OK how long is it going to take. Juggle the can and do a little wait lifting while waiting. If not look at all the headlines in the hot gossip magazines on the stand. Observe how the clerk is friendly and yet doing the job. Or just browse through the stuff stacked in the check-out aisle. Just do not get restless, curse under your breath and look scornfully at anyone for taking a little bit of two minutes more by being nice. Life does seem to zip through much faster than we want. But we can take all these little moments to remind ourselves that we are still alive. We are here and we don't know how long we will be. So while we are here, lets just enjoy what we have, the things around you but not wasting what we don't have - time in showing attitudes and irritating mood swings.
Not having the patience to wait for the traffic light and speeding up to beat the yellow - can get you in very unsavory, sometimes even dangerous situation. If you see yellow, and you are a good distance behind the stop line, just slow down and stop. If you speed up, make that sharp left or u turn, you may lose control and end up in emergency. Or simply in the car repair shop. What are you losing from sitting in your car, listening to the radio news or music or simply reviewing your days work? Think about anything. This 2 or three minutes is absolutely yours, except keeping your foot firmly planted on the brakes, you are free to think about anything you want. Or plain simple, switch off your brain and stare ahead into the traffic - look at people randomly, enjoy the general life out there. For God's sake do not rush to beat the light and get beaten by life.
I am very aware of my clock ticking away. Also aware that everything comes to an end. So why rush through these every day minutes? Even if we do not have opportunities to stop and smell the flowers, enjoy the ocean breeze or walk mindlessly every day, we can still do that in our mind in these little 2 or 3 minutes here and there. It will keep our sensitivities alive and save stress for the others around us. Just try.
You are in the grocery store with just a single can of milk in hand. Yes, carrying cold gallon of milk can be heavy. The person ahead of you has cart full of stuff and talking to the clerk. OK how long is it going to take. Juggle the can and do a little wait lifting while waiting. If not look at all the headlines in the hot gossip magazines on the stand. Observe how the clerk is friendly and yet doing the job. Or just browse through the stuff stacked in the check-out aisle. Just do not get restless, curse under your breath and look scornfully at anyone for taking a little bit of two minutes more by being nice. Life does seem to zip through much faster than we want. But we can take all these little moments to remind ourselves that we are still alive. We are here and we don't know how long we will be. So while we are here, lets just enjoy what we have, the things around you but not wasting what we don't have - time in showing attitudes and irritating mood swings.
Not having the patience to wait for the traffic light and speeding up to beat the yellow - can get you in very unsavory, sometimes even dangerous situation. If you see yellow, and you are a good distance behind the stop line, just slow down and stop. If you speed up, make that sharp left or u turn, you may lose control and end up in emergency. Or simply in the car repair shop. What are you losing from sitting in your car, listening to the radio news or music or simply reviewing your days work? Think about anything. This 2 or three minutes is absolutely yours, except keeping your foot firmly planted on the brakes, you are free to think about anything you want. Or plain simple, switch off your brain and stare ahead into the traffic - look at people randomly, enjoy the general life out there. For God's sake do not rush to beat the light and get beaten by life.
I am very aware of my clock ticking away. Also aware that everything comes to an end. So why rush through these every day minutes? Even if we do not have opportunities to stop and smell the flowers, enjoy the ocean breeze or walk mindlessly every day, we can still do that in our mind in these little 2 or 3 minutes here and there. It will keep our sensitivities alive and save stress for the others around us. Just try.
Friday, June 29, 2012
Food
A few things really make me happy anytime. One of them is food. Its not just about eating. Food to me is a hobby, a relaxation, a concentration and in some senses a prayer. Though the follow-up activites such as washing the dishes and cleaning can be a drag - I just enjoy cooking. When I am stressed. When I am happy. When I am excited. When I am just simply plain myself.
Its one such a day today - just wanted to unwind. Got into the kitchen. An hour and few dirty dishes later - got Tandoori chicken, Pesto pasta with sun dried tomatoes, chicken strips and walnuts, marinara red pasta with over roasted mushrooms, red and yellow peppers, and kesari for dessert. All from scratch, my own recipes. Oh and Iforgot the garlic bread. The plain bread is of course from TJ. But added zesty garlic and olive oil then toasted in the oven.
So - here I am. Had my vegetarian pasta. Family just loved the rest. With green tea in hand, I am reflecting on what made me cook this enormous meal on a Friday night?? No idea. While I worked at Hitachi one of co-workers gave me a book - Like Water For Chocolate. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Like_Water_for_Chocolate. I just loved that book. How food is intertwined with lives - especially the protagonist.
Food and memories are part of my life, part of who I am. I associate food with almost everything. Even the smell, feel and the places I had some specific dish and people. I think of my athai and always connect her with those soft, oily, yummy delicious paniarams and excellet mutton curry. My MIL - always with that oh so good rasam and yam fry. My mom oh the food smells that my mom's memory brings back - I can NOW smell the paaal paniyaram and vadai that wafts from my mom's saree when talk to her misty eyed about going back after the vacation....
Food is good as long as we eat it. But when food starts eating us - i can't imagine.
Its one such a day today - just wanted to unwind. Got into the kitchen. An hour and few dirty dishes later - got Tandoori chicken, Pesto pasta with sun dried tomatoes, chicken strips and walnuts, marinara red pasta with over roasted mushrooms, red and yellow peppers, and kesari for dessert. All from scratch, my own recipes. Oh and Iforgot the garlic bread. The plain bread is of course from TJ. But added zesty garlic and olive oil then toasted in the oven.
So - here I am. Had my vegetarian pasta. Family just loved the rest. With green tea in hand, I am reflecting on what made me cook this enormous meal on a Friday night?? No idea. While I worked at Hitachi one of co-workers gave me a book - Like Water For Chocolate. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Like_Water_for_Chocolate. I just loved that book. How food is intertwined with lives - especially the protagonist.
Food and memories are part of my life, part of who I am. I associate food with almost everything. Even the smell, feel and the places I had some specific dish and people. I think of my athai and always connect her with those soft, oily, yummy delicious paniarams and excellet mutton curry. My MIL - always with that oh so good rasam and yam fry. My mom oh the food smells that my mom's memory brings back - I can NOW smell the paaal paniyaram and vadai that wafts from my mom's saree when talk to her misty eyed about going back after the vacation....
Food is good as long as we eat it. But when food starts eating us - i can't imagine.
A coffee drinker's story
The word change is the only thing that doesn't ever change. Yes, age old wisdom. Still it takes a long time for the human mind to accept the changes. Subtle changes. Big changes. Changes in attitude. Changes in friendship. Everything has an impact. It is within our control to understand, accept and move on from the effects of the impact.
When a simple every day routine as drinking coffee changes, the effects or impact of that changes reflects more on the mind, the mental state than the body. Oh well, yes I gave up drinking my coffee in the morning. Not a big deal. But I am a coffee drinker and I LOVE coffee in all caps, bold, underline. But what the heck - just gave up. Recently. It did affect my mood. The thought of not drinking coffee the very first thing in the morning....gave me all these thoughts - note they are only thoughts and not actual happenings.. "Mmm oh I am getting a head ache, oh I feel sleepy...uh oh I cannot focus" - all because I think I am not drinking that magic potion. Sometimes thoughts affect us more than the actual reality.
But now, I am not dying for it :) That change did affect me. It took me more days than I would have wished to accept and move on. Now that I have moved on, I can reflect on it and still be objective. Not crave for it. That does not mean I hate coffee. On the contrary. I still LOVE coffee with all bold, caps, underline, highlight every thing. But I am just not drinking it in the morning. Coffee ceased to be associated with my morning routine. It is still accessible. My husband still makes it in the morning for himself. I am around, can smell inhale the fresh invigorating aroma while attending to my chores in the kitchen. First few days I will still smell the coffee smell, inhale it and look at it longingly while he sips away. He will even offer me few sips which I started refusing for fear of getting hooked on again. Now yes I smell it. Yes, its there. But I am not tempted. I guess this is the ultimate existence that Buddha ( ah...trying to sound lofty here, am I? But lofty things do start from humble beginnings) learned. Being there and not being affected by it. Am I getting closer to getting mental maturity at last? Well that is a completely different discussion.
But going back to changes - yes. In our everyday life, we come across things, people, friends, work - things that really have an impact on us for various reasons. Some stay on with us. But some we want to stay on with us forever. But that is not always the case. Things perish. People move on. Jobs change. If we learn to understand that the changes are inevitable and though everything moves on and situations change, the memories we carry with them will stay on with us, enriching us and evolving us as we grow - we will be fine. Que Sera Sera.
When a simple every day routine as drinking coffee changes, the effects or impact of that changes reflects more on the mind, the mental state than the body. Oh well, yes I gave up drinking my coffee in the morning. Not a big deal. But I am a coffee drinker and I LOVE coffee in all caps, bold, underline. But what the heck - just gave up. Recently. It did affect my mood. The thought of not drinking coffee the very first thing in the morning....gave me all these thoughts - note they are only thoughts and not actual happenings.. "Mmm oh I am getting a head ache, oh I feel sleepy...uh oh I cannot focus" - all because I think I am not drinking that magic potion. Sometimes thoughts affect us more than the actual reality.
But now, I am not dying for it :) That change did affect me. It took me more days than I would have wished to accept and move on. Now that I have moved on, I can reflect on it and still be objective. Not crave for it. That does not mean I hate coffee. On the contrary. I still LOVE coffee with all bold, caps, underline, highlight every thing. But I am just not drinking it in the morning. Coffee ceased to be associated with my morning routine. It is still accessible. My husband still makes it in the morning for himself. I am around, can smell inhale the fresh invigorating aroma while attending to my chores in the kitchen. First few days I will still smell the coffee smell, inhale it and look at it longingly while he sips away. He will even offer me few sips which I started refusing for fear of getting hooked on again. Now yes I smell it. Yes, its there. But I am not tempted. I guess this is the ultimate existence that Buddha ( ah...trying to sound lofty here, am I? But lofty things do start from humble beginnings) learned. Being there and not being affected by it. Am I getting closer to getting mental maturity at last? Well that is a completely different discussion.
But going back to changes - yes. In our everyday life, we come across things, people, friends, work - things that really have an impact on us for various reasons. Some stay on with us. But some we want to stay on with us forever. But that is not always the case. Things perish. People move on. Jobs change. If we learn to understand that the changes are inevitable and though everything moves on and situations change, the memories we carry with them will stay on with us, enriching us and evolving us as we grow - we will be fine. Que Sera Sera.
Friday, June 1, 2012
Pensive
Sometimes the things that happen around us affect us more than we want to admit.
Yesterday, one of my husband's co-workers passed away at work. Before coming to work in the morning, he must have said bye to someone. Might have made plans for the evening. Instead of going back, he just passed away. Who can guess what was he working on, what was he thinking, what was he going through when he died in the men's room in the evening? Just when everyone were going home. And how would it have affected the person who found him in the men's room? How did the family receive that information? These questions will never get answers.
Life ceased for him in the most unexpected moment. He must have driven himself to work that morning. He definitely would not have expected that he had to hitch a ride in the hearse.
And then there was the news item about a barbaric activity in Miami. A man eating another man. Really. The cops who saw the scene had to kill the attacker. Victim was already dead. I will not go into the details.
Sudden deaths, serious accidents and inhuman activities really make me very very sad. I wonder on my wisdom of having kids. They are young and vulnerable. What if something happens to us and they are left alone in this world to face the odds? They have no relatives here. And we have no will. I am not even sure if they will ever be able to see their grandparents or any other relatives in India should some disaster strikes and they are left alone.
I know thinking these thoughts are never helpful. I also know we cannot stop the inevitable. What will be will be.
Yesterday, one of my husband's co-workers passed away at work. Before coming to work in the morning, he must have said bye to someone. Might have made plans for the evening. Instead of going back, he just passed away. Who can guess what was he working on, what was he thinking, what was he going through when he died in the men's room in the evening? Just when everyone were going home. And how would it have affected the person who found him in the men's room? How did the family receive that information? These questions will never get answers.
Life ceased for him in the most unexpected moment. He must have driven himself to work that morning. He definitely would not have expected that he had to hitch a ride in the hearse.
And then there was the news item about a barbaric activity in Miami. A man eating another man. Really. The cops who saw the scene had to kill the attacker. Victim was already dead. I will not go into the details.
Sudden deaths, serious accidents and inhuman activities really make me very very sad. I wonder on my wisdom of having kids. They are young and vulnerable. What if something happens to us and they are left alone in this world to face the odds? They have no relatives here. And we have no will. I am not even sure if they will ever be able to see their grandparents or any other relatives in India should some disaster strikes and they are left alone.
I know thinking these thoughts are never helpful. I also know we cannot stop the inevitable. What will be will be.
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Destiny - Want vs Have
I strongly believe in destiny. That said, I am not the type to take the back seat and blame the driver for going in the wrong direction. I do plan my destination. Plan my route. And work on my route to reach the destination. But sometimes, though we work hard on keeping on the right track, our destination may be different from what we planned for. If I reach such a destination that I did not envision for myself, I always try to see how/what I can learn, enjoy, give or take from that destination. And I truly believe no one can take away what we do with what we have. Also what is ours will definitely be ours. We only need to look for and recognize it when it comes to us.
Why this now? I was talking to my friend this morning. She was very sad and upset over something that did not happen the way it should have happened. She had done everything she has to, follow all the rules and submitted the paperwork. Took a break, nice family vacation. And the rules changed. her papers are rejected. I understand her frustration. It is of course sad. Getting out of that frustration is easier said than done. But I just hate that "Why should it happen to me?" attitude. This self pity paves way only to more self pity and affects positive productivity.
Well it happened. First accept what happened. Then think how you can work on changing the situation. Explore other possibilities of making the situation work for you. If, after trying all avenues possible, a change seems absolutely impossible, just accept it. Life will not always give us what we want. And that is fair. if we start getting everything we want...well I am at a loss to think about the consequences to humanity. There will be no end to the outrageous atrocities in the human world. That is why we sometimes do not get what we strongly believe we deserve.
That said, my grandma used to tell me two of these Indian proverbs that roughly translated sound like these - "For every goat, God measures the length of its tail". "Even if you apply Castor oil all over and roll on the sand, only those destined to stick on you will stick on you" etc.
While I work hard to reach my destination, I am mindful of my journey, detours and deviations. If one of my paths are closed, I am sure there will be a detour. Just make sure to follow what is available and give your 100% to whatever path you choose. You will be where you have to be. The "where you have to be" and "where you want to be" might slightly differ from each other. But if you accept the have, the want will cease to exist. When want ceases to exist - life is filled with peaceful contentment.
Why this now? I was talking to my friend this morning. She was very sad and upset over something that did not happen the way it should have happened. She had done everything she has to, follow all the rules and submitted the paperwork. Took a break, nice family vacation. And the rules changed. her papers are rejected. I understand her frustration. It is of course sad. Getting out of that frustration is easier said than done. But I just hate that "Why should it happen to me?" attitude. This self pity paves way only to more self pity and affects positive productivity.
Well it happened. First accept what happened. Then think how you can work on changing the situation. Explore other possibilities of making the situation work for you. If, after trying all avenues possible, a change seems absolutely impossible, just accept it. Life will not always give us what we want. And that is fair. if we start getting everything we want...well I am at a loss to think about the consequences to humanity. There will be no end to the outrageous atrocities in the human world. That is why we sometimes do not get what we strongly believe we deserve.
That said, my grandma used to tell me two of these Indian proverbs that roughly translated sound like these - "For every goat, God measures the length of its tail". "Even if you apply Castor oil all over and roll on the sand, only those destined to stick on you will stick on you" etc.
While I work hard to reach my destination, I am mindful of my journey, detours and deviations. If one of my paths are closed, I am sure there will be a detour. Just make sure to follow what is available and give your 100% to whatever path you choose. You will be where you have to be. The "where you have to be" and "where you want to be" might slightly differ from each other. But if you accept the have, the want will cease to exist. When want ceases to exist - life is filled with peaceful contentment.
Friday, May 25, 2012
Random kids stuff...
What seems an ordeal today may potentially become one of the most cherished memories as the kids grow into adulthood and cease to be kids anymore. The morning breakfast. Every morning. On the table, flanked between these two - only to avoid any big ruckus in the morning to beat the traffic with four different schedule....
The things they say, the things they fight for - my day is done at 8. The rest of the hours I just pull myself through with sheer will power. Yes, the constant hum of a chorus noise can make my chores a serious drudgery.
More recently its always the tooth affair. Older A lost the tooth before hitting the general bench mark of 6 yrs. Little A didn't yet. Though the permanent tooth are already in there, she feels God is totally completely unfair that the brother bear lost tooth earlier than her. And picks on him for it every single morning. OMG. Can't believe the things these kids say. Starting from you are bad, your school is bad...I am the best, my school is the best. Seriously who ever wanted to send these two to different school??? Not me :( but I am the one that steps in to stop HWxxx (Home War - infinite) every morning.
You try to correct or discipline one of them...Then these two enemy territories join forces together and attacks you full head on. With all possible weapons - emotional, guilt trips and yes with whatever they can get hold of. Then it is " meanie mom, don't do that to my brother" "mom, she is only little don't be mad with her"...oh well I do enjoy these secretly. the attachment, love that runs underneath the sibling rivalry. Hope they stay that way forever.
One of these days, when they are out and about chasing life as we are doing now, i will be sitting and reminiscing over and cherishing these noisy morning break fasts, only in memories.
The things they say, the things they fight for - my day is done at 8. The rest of the hours I just pull myself through with sheer will power. Yes, the constant hum of a chorus noise can make my chores a serious drudgery.
More recently its always the tooth affair. Older A lost the tooth before hitting the general bench mark of 6 yrs. Little A didn't yet. Though the permanent tooth are already in there, she feels God is totally completely unfair that the brother bear lost tooth earlier than her. And picks on him for it every single morning. OMG. Can't believe the things these kids say. Starting from you are bad, your school is bad...I am the best, my school is the best. Seriously who ever wanted to send these two to different school??? Not me :( but I am the one that steps in to stop HWxxx (Home War - infinite) every morning.
You try to correct or discipline one of them...Then these two enemy territories join forces together and attacks you full head on. With all possible weapons - emotional, guilt trips and yes with whatever they can get hold of. Then it is " meanie mom, don't do that to my brother" "mom, she is only little don't be mad with her"...oh well I do enjoy these secretly. the attachment, love that runs underneath the sibling rivalry. Hope they stay that way forever.
One of these days, when they are out and about chasing life as we are doing now, i will be sitting and reminiscing over and cherishing these noisy morning break fasts, only in memories.
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Experiences...
Experiences enrich a person like nothing else.
I don't know why, but for whatever reason I am reminded of so many people - call it a walk down the memory lane or ghosts from the past. But I do want to thank so many people who had helped me to be what I am today. My interactions with them, their reactions, my happiness, pain and suffering through all these, has helped me evolve into a confident person and a successful professional.
In life, I had an opportunity to do what I chose to do, from childhood. Because I was given the opportunity to choose, I also had to fail in more than one occasion because I made the wrong choices. Wrong choices according to the 'normal' ambitious people. But because of the choices is only I am what I am today! The education and the situations...simply toughened me up!
I had the golden opportunity to work with extremely different personality types. Very simple, straight forward type, professional but unfriendly type, helpful, professional and "live and let live" types, extremely personable, friendly but not very professional type, very thorough, detail oriented but completely controlling type etc etc. Though many of the situations are not ideal for a work environment, each of the situations had helped me tremendously.
I have learned to be courteous, professional, detached and still friendly. My accountability and responsibility are polished. I have learned the dos and don'ts by living through the dos and don'ts.
Though I have had people to guide me through times when I needed advise, I had forgotten those exact words with which they guided me. But I do remember the situations when something happened in some way and I or some one else reacted in some way. Based on the reaction, I also remember how the focus shifted from one common goal to multiple micro objectives.
Thank you every one, for being in my life, shaping me and helping me think through and becoming a better person.
I don't know why, but for whatever reason I am reminded of so many people - call it a walk down the memory lane or ghosts from the past. But I do want to thank so many people who had helped me to be what I am today. My interactions with them, their reactions, my happiness, pain and suffering through all these, has helped me evolve into a confident person and a successful professional.
In life, I had an opportunity to do what I chose to do, from childhood. Because I was given the opportunity to choose, I also had to fail in more than one occasion because I made the wrong choices. Wrong choices according to the 'normal' ambitious people. But because of the choices is only I am what I am today! The education and the situations...simply toughened me up!
I had the golden opportunity to work with extremely different personality types. Very simple, straight forward type, professional but unfriendly type, helpful, professional and "live and let live" types, extremely personable, friendly but not very professional type, very thorough, detail oriented but completely controlling type etc etc. Though many of the situations are not ideal for a work environment, each of the situations had helped me tremendously.
I have learned to be courteous, professional, detached and still friendly. My accountability and responsibility are polished. I have learned the dos and don'ts by living through the dos and don'ts.
Though I have had people to guide me through times when I needed advise, I had forgotten those exact words with which they guided me. But I do remember the situations when something happened in some way and I or some one else reacted in some way. Based on the reaction, I also remember how the focus shifted from one common goal to multiple micro objectives.
Thank you every one, for being in my life, shaping me and helping me think through and becoming a better person.
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Farewell...New beginnings...
Farewells are not my cup of tea. Especially when its my best friend or the best place or even old tattered, but my best loved bag. I also understand the concept of new Beginnings. If we want to have new beginnings, we must say bye to the old ones. Otherwise we are shutting ourselves our of the future. Still farewells hurt. We move forward with memories, lessons and of course more people/friends we made in our journey.
Last week was one such week filled with not one, but two painful farewells. I had to bid farewell to one of my best friends and something else I really loved. When I say I "really love" - I know it involves pain. For Love, we all know encompasses an element of pain.
One of my best friends made the big decision to move back to India for good. Going back to India is not very new...I have seem my other good friends move and felt exactly the same way as I did last week. But last week was exceptionally emotional because that was someone I really did not think will go back :( But the tides have changes and the time came for her family to leave. So we said fare thee well at the airport. Hope her new beginnings bring her joy and peace.
And then I bid another farewell, to my dear work. Well I do have some new beginnings to make soon and I am sure that will give me new experiences, new people and new paths. The road not taken is always exciting to explore. But this time I will explore it with caution and learn to maneuver with the experience I got from my previous journey.
More farewells and more new beginnings...and life continues.
Last week was one such week filled with not one, but two painful farewells. I had to bid farewell to one of my best friends and something else I really loved. When I say I "really love" - I know it involves pain. For Love, we all know encompasses an element of pain.
One of my best friends made the big decision to move back to India for good. Going back to India is not very new...I have seem my other good friends move and felt exactly the same way as I did last week. But last week was exceptionally emotional because that was someone I really did not think will go back :( But the tides have changes and the time came for her family to leave. So we said fare thee well at the airport. Hope her new beginnings bring her joy and peace.
And then I bid another farewell, to my dear work. Well I do have some new beginnings to make soon and I am sure that will give me new experiences, new people and new paths. The road not taken is always exciting to explore. But this time I will explore it with caution and learn to maneuver with the experience I got from my previous journey.
More farewells and more new beginnings...and life continues.
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Let go!
When you let go, life comes back to you, in full swing. Its of course easier said, than done. I understand. I know great expectations can lead to greater frustrations. So today, I just tried to let go of something. Something that was weighing me down from inside out for quite some time. Against all my wishes to look beyond and above.
Just this morning I took one moment to look at whats at hand, think about things that surround me. And decided to let go of this weight. And WOW! I can just feel so light. No regrets. No hatred. No remorse. No nothing. Only a pure sense of relief.
Anything that weighs you down - the past, ego, toxic relationships, etc - you will feel the pain only as long as you are holding on to them. The moment you realize these type of weights are a liability and you will gain peace by letting go, that is the moment of true liberation. Let go!
Just this morning I took one moment to look at whats at hand, think about things that surround me. And decided to let go of this weight. And WOW! I can just feel so light. No regrets. No hatred. No remorse. No nothing. Only a pure sense of relief.
Anything that weighs you down - the past, ego, toxic relationships, etc - you will feel the pain only as long as you are holding on to them. The moment you realize these type of weights are a liability and you will gain peace by letting go, that is the moment of true liberation. Let go!
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Go...Grow!
Its again all about choices. The right choice at the right time can take you to the right place. The place that you want to be. So why is the dilemma? Because we are after all, humans :) With the mind that gets comfortable in the familiar settings. We know we want to explore whats out there and move on. But still a tiny little voice says hey don't leave your cocoon. Its warm and cozy. But if the butterfly does not come out of the cocoon, what happens? Stifled death. No one will know the once ugly wiggly worm can become a beautiful butterfly that can actually fly.
So do not resist the change. Make the choice. Opportunity knocks on your door only once. You know you have the potential to become a butterfly and fly. So don't get comfortable, don't always stay back in the warmth...The world is so vast. Experience the possibilities. Explore the opportunities.
Oh well - I always hate to play Prince Hamlet. So it is not To be or Not to be.
I was here. Yes. Met some great people. Check. Made some memories. Check. Had a wonderful opportunity to enrich and evolve professionally and personally. Awesome. Move on. Time and tide waits for no man. Carry the memories. Cherish the people. And go, grow, explore and expand. God Bless.
So do not resist the change. Make the choice. Opportunity knocks on your door only once. You know you have the potential to become a butterfly and fly. So don't get comfortable, don't always stay back in the warmth...The world is so vast. Experience the possibilities. Explore the opportunities.
Oh well - I always hate to play Prince Hamlet. So it is not To be or Not to be.
I was here. Yes. Met some great people. Check. Made some memories. Check. Had a wonderful opportunity to enrich and evolve professionally and personally. Awesome. Move on. Time and tide waits for no man. Carry the memories. Cherish the people. And go, grow, explore and expand. God Bless.
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Roller coaster
A perfect roller coaster.
Sometimes life - both internal and external take a cool ride in a perfect roller coaster. A roller coaster ride is fun if you are a child or may be a teenager with no worry to crease your forehead and rob your sleep. But when you are a parent, in a far away country with your next immediate family is at least 30,000 miles away...well that is totally a different ball game.
We know we are journeying toward the inevitable. That is going to happen to us at some point. The only two things we cannot have any sort of control over or schedule are Birth and death. Well not exactly. I hear many parents have taken scheduling births based on the stars and calendars. Also the IVF has taken partial care of birth. But the second inevitable, death - well so far, except in corporal punishments, no one can have any control over. Well we can argue differently about the suicides and etc etc. But well...that is beyond my line of thoughts today.
The roller coaster begins when you hear some one in your life, or you know back from childhood is really unwell or passed. Then you want to control your mind's creative imagination very very unsuccessfully. Then you start having vivid nightmares, just thought flows etc etc. Imagination becomes a real handicap. You unconsciously start connecting invisible, non-existent dots. And start worrying. Its a phase. Doesn't stop until you just forcefully snap out of it.
Again I imagine, for all of us, with strong family ties, and living too far away this type of random roller coaster rides are common. And we live with it, pretending to ignore. And life moves on.
Sometimes life - both internal and external take a cool ride in a perfect roller coaster. A roller coaster ride is fun if you are a child or may be a teenager with no worry to crease your forehead and rob your sleep. But when you are a parent, in a far away country with your next immediate family is at least 30,000 miles away...well that is totally a different ball game.
We know we are journeying toward the inevitable. That is going to happen to us at some point. The only two things we cannot have any sort of control over or schedule are Birth and death. Well not exactly. I hear many parents have taken scheduling births based on the stars and calendars. Also the IVF has taken partial care of birth. But the second inevitable, death - well so far, except in corporal punishments, no one can have any control over. Well we can argue differently about the suicides and etc etc. But well...that is beyond my line of thoughts today.
The roller coaster begins when you hear some one in your life, or you know back from childhood is really unwell or passed. Then you want to control your mind's creative imagination very very unsuccessfully. Then you start having vivid nightmares, just thought flows etc etc. Imagination becomes a real handicap. You unconsciously start connecting invisible, non-existent dots. And start worrying. Its a phase. Doesn't stop until you just forcefully snap out of it.
Again I imagine, for all of us, with strong family ties, and living too far away this type of random roller coaster rides are common. And we live with it, pretending to ignore. And life moves on.
Sunday, February 19, 2012
On reading books...
Will books be displayed next to dinosaur bones in museums in a few years from now? I very sincerely hope not, but still this question lingers with an uncertain feeling in my mind so very often.
I should make my stand clear. I am no enemy to invention, technology or scientific advancement. In fact very far from IT. But I also love the old fashioned reading, touch and feel of books, the different smells from new and old dog eared books, the memories these books invoke, the ability to share, borrow, lend, marking cherished lines, simply love the physical presence of a book, as opposed to the online books and reading books using Kindle Fire and other such devices.
Please understand I am NOT dis regarding the comfort and accessibility that the online books on the cloud, that technology offers us. Technology has provided the amazing accessibility to information/books anytime from anywhere. And that is wonderfully amazingly convenient. But I also do not want the physical books becoming out of habit. These reading devices brings books and information closer to us than we think is many cases. At the same time, they make books and the reading experience twice far removed.
I always prefer to buy books as presents and would be happy if I am able to receive books the same way too. But I am coming across too many people buying Kindle/iPad and other e-readers in place of books. And I am afraid we are bringing up a generation of youngsters who do not know the value of real books. Instead they are exposed only to the devices from which they can read and do other things. Which encroaches upon their ability to read a book, complete it and think about it. Now they can read a few pages on a device, switch to game and then text some etc. Eventually reading might be the last item in the youngsters focus list with a device like iPad o Kindle. Is that healthy?
I do not want reading to be one of those extinct qualities in our children. if our children are our future, they should be able to appreciate the past a little, understand the present a little to prepare for the future. And I think real books can offer the comfort and focus to the kids than the devices. When real books are like loving grandparents, the electronic devices are the paid care takers or baby sitters. We can definitely trust them both, but grand parents are more connected to the kids than baby sitters/care takers. Whats your take on it?
I should make my stand clear. I am no enemy to invention, technology or scientific advancement. In fact very far from IT. But I also love the old fashioned reading, touch and feel of books, the different smells from new and old dog eared books, the memories these books invoke, the ability to share, borrow, lend, marking cherished lines, simply love the physical presence of a book, as opposed to the online books and reading books using Kindle Fire and other such devices.
Please understand I am NOT dis regarding the comfort and accessibility that the online books on the cloud, that technology offers us. Technology has provided the amazing accessibility to information/books anytime from anywhere. And that is wonderfully amazingly convenient. But I also do not want the physical books becoming out of habit. These reading devices brings books and information closer to us than we think is many cases. At the same time, they make books and the reading experience twice far removed.
I always prefer to buy books as presents and would be happy if I am able to receive books the same way too. But I am coming across too many people buying Kindle/iPad and other e-readers in place of books. And I am afraid we are bringing up a generation of youngsters who do not know the value of real books. Instead they are exposed only to the devices from which they can read and do other things. Which encroaches upon their ability to read a book, complete it and think about it. Now they can read a few pages on a device, switch to game and then text some etc. Eventually reading might be the last item in the youngsters focus list with a device like iPad o Kindle. Is that healthy?
I do not want reading to be one of those extinct qualities in our children. if our children are our future, they should be able to appreciate the past a little, understand the present a little to prepare for the future. And I think real books can offer the comfort and focus to the kids than the devices. When real books are like loving grandparents, the electronic devices are the paid care takers or baby sitters. We can definitely trust them both, but grand parents are more connected to the kids than baby sitters/care takers. Whats your take on it?
Thursday, February 16, 2012
On reading....for research!
I had a chance to talk to my friend's research scholar yesterday. (My friend is a professor at an University in India, she is guiding few research scholars on their doctoral thesis).
This particular student had difficulty reading for research. You know how it is. When you are a research scholar in Language and Literature - you do not have the opportunity to follow logical deduction and scientific research methodology. It is all logical reasoning based on personal understanding. You select some books. Read them, analyze them and present your perception of those books/author or style as your research hypothesis.
And then begins your research. And this person had issues understanding the underlying concepts and formulating ideas on a given time. So, I called to talk to my friend. My friend was in class and her scholar picked up. And I asked her how is your research coming along. And that question unwrapped another one of my impromptu lectures....poor girl, liked it or not, she had to be polite to her prof's friend and listen to my 25 mnts of long distance lecture :)
So this is how I think every research scholar in the literary discipline should approach their reading. Every book needs to be read at least four times *before* beginning to write the draft 1 of you thesis. (exclusively based on my personal experience)
So here you go -
This particular student had difficulty reading for research. You know how it is. When you are a research scholar in Language and Literature - you do not have the opportunity to follow logical deduction and scientific research methodology. It is all logical reasoning based on personal understanding. You select some books. Read them, analyze them and present your perception of those books/author or style as your research hypothesis.
And then begins your research. And this person had issues understanding the underlying concepts and formulating ideas on a given time. So, I called to talk to my friend. My friend was in class and her scholar picked up. And I asked her how is your research coming along. And that question unwrapped another one of my impromptu lectures....poor girl, liked it or not, she had to be polite to her prof's friend and listen to my 25 mnts of long distance lecture :)
So this is how I think every research scholar in the literary discipline should approach their reading. Every book needs to be read at least four times *before* beginning to write the draft 1 of you thesis. (exclusively based on my personal experience)
So here you go -
- Familiarize
- Understand
- Analyze
- Criticize
Familiarize: When you have selected a few books for your research, your first step into your research reading should be to get familiar with the book itself. So read the book from front to back, once. Don't stop to think on the subtleties. Don't analyze anything. Just read the book as you would a casual fiction. Then take a note book and write down your first impression. Forget the book and go on to the next one. read all books once, capturing your first impressions as a simple summary in the notebook.
Understand: Now get back to your first book. Start reading, pay more attention to character names and situations. Read completely. Take the same notebook. Now write your second experience with the book. Write down all the character names, if possible sort them into main/sub characters. Theme. Plot. Turning Point and the climax. Make it look like a book report. Do the same to all the books.
Analyze: Now go start reading the book again with meticulous attention to details, with a pencil or highlighter in hand. Read the chapters with your research hypothesis in mind. Whenever you come across any point that would be helpful for your argument, mark it. Go through the whole book, all books. Now take the same notebook and write down only the parts that apply to your research, Write down your supportive quotes from the book with page numbers.
Criticize: Now take the book again, read only the parts that apply to your research. If you are unsure, go over the whole book again. See how in that particular part the author says what you think he says. Collect supporting materials to substantiate your argument and read them too.
And now - you can start writing your draft 1!
Right approach to reading will help you to understand the book much better, much earlier.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Love
Valentine's day: the red heart balloons, flowers, heart shaped chocolate boxes, advertisements to sell perfumes, jewellery, school kids madness in giving out and counting the received valentines (so called garbage that all parents always have to buy, and dump in garbage within the first week, of course behind the kids back)...in a nutshell - the marketing hype & confused madness got me thinking. Thinking about the center of all this hustle...LOVE.
What exactly is love? is it so easily discernible? mmmm I don't think so. Love is an universal feeling - a strong universal feeling that is - that a human feels towards an object, person or some other inanimate thing. Is it true that Love can happen only once? Or there can be only one true love? This brings another question on 'true' love. Well if the feeling is not true it is not love. then why do we sometimes qualify love as 'true' love?
Now getting back to square one - is it possible that any human can love only once? To me this is totally an absurd question. Such a question arises only when we start confusing or mixing up love with marriage, life partnership etc. Meet. Fall in love. Marry. Live ever after. Yes, being true to the relationship is very important. I agree both involved in a relationship must work on mending the walls frequently so no one violates the boundaries.
Does that also mean one should not love anything or anyone else after marriage? Absolutely not. Love your favorite leader, movie star, author, friend, co-worker. Just know your boundaries. Essentially do not get mixed up with admiration, appreciation, friendship (all different manifestations of love) and love - the kind of love that involves a much higher level of intimacy than the average, normal manifestation of love.
Love, like water takes the shape of the container we pour it in. When this love is poured into the spouse it takes a completely different shape. In friendship and other containers - love fits in with multiple different shapes. Just understanding the capacity of the container would mean that we have mastered the art of unconditional love.
Oh well...I love what I love!
What exactly is love? is it so easily discernible? mmmm I don't think so. Love is an universal feeling - a strong universal feeling that is - that a human feels towards an object, person or some other inanimate thing. Is it true that Love can happen only once? Or there can be only one true love? This brings another question on 'true' love. Well if the feeling is not true it is not love. then why do we sometimes qualify love as 'true' love?
Now getting back to square one - is it possible that any human can love only once? To me this is totally an absurd question. Such a question arises only when we start confusing or mixing up love with marriage, life partnership etc. Meet. Fall in love. Marry. Live ever after. Yes, being true to the relationship is very important. I agree both involved in a relationship must work on mending the walls frequently so no one violates the boundaries.
Does that also mean one should not love anything or anyone else after marriage? Absolutely not. Love your favorite leader, movie star, author, friend, co-worker. Just know your boundaries. Essentially do not get mixed up with admiration, appreciation, friendship (all different manifestations of love) and love - the kind of love that involves a much higher level of intimacy than the average, normal manifestation of love.
Love, like water takes the shape of the container we pour it in. When this love is poured into the spouse it takes a completely different shape. In friendship and other containers - love fits in with multiple different shapes. Just understanding the capacity of the container would mean that we have mastered the art of unconditional love.
Oh well...I love what I love!
Thanks HDS and Thanks Toastmasters!
Thanks to my job at HDS. We have the Hi Definitions Speakers (HDS at HDS) club. And yes I am happy I joined the club! The ice breaker speech - first talk, was an interesting experience. I volunteered to be a speaker for this week during the last week's meeting. And came up with this title "Fences" last week too. But got busy with so many shopping trips, and the usual stuff - so didn't prepare. And this morning dawned!
Oh well I guess enough of blowing my own trumpet!!! I went! I sweat! I Spoke! Spoke what? My favorite subject - "Good fences make good neighbors" Well not only good neighbors, good family, good couple, good friends everything. I am not sure how effectively I conveyed the message. But I will work on improving :)
Working and interacting with a great bunch of people, working on self development in a fun way - what more can you ask for?
Oh well I guess enough of blowing my own trumpet!!! I went! I sweat! I Spoke! Spoke what? My favorite subject - "Good fences make good neighbors" Well not only good neighbors, good family, good couple, good friends everything. I am not sure how effectively I conveyed the message. But I will work on improving :)
Working and interacting with a great bunch of people, working on self development in a fun way - what more can you ask for?
Saturday, February 4, 2012
சில நினைவுகள்
நொடிகள் எல்லாம் நிமிடங்களில் கரைய
நிமிடங்கள் ஓடி மணிக்குள் மறைய
மணிகள் கூட நாட்கள், வாரங்கள், மாதங்கள் என்று
காலம் கரையும் கணக்கை வார்த்தையில் எப்படி?
நினைவு குமிழிகள் உடைந்த கனவுகள்
வெறும் சோப்புக்குமிழியாய்
சத்தம் இல்லா காற்றும் இல்லா
தடமே இன்றி வெறுமை நிறைக்கும்
சில நினைவுகள் போல
கனவில் மட்டும் கலராய் நிறைந்து
விழித்த போதில் நீரில் கரைந்து -விழி நீரில் கரைந்து
கானல் நிஜமாய் கனவின் உருவாய் ...
நிமிடங்கள் ஓடி மணிக்குள் மறைய
மணிகள் கூட நாட்கள், வாரங்கள், மாதங்கள் என்று
காலம் கரையும் கணக்கை வார்த்தையில் எப்படி?
நினைவு குமிழிகள் உடைந்த கனவுகள்
வெறும் சோப்புக்குமிழியாய்
சத்தம் இல்லா காற்றும் இல்லா
தடமே இன்றி வெறுமை நிறைக்கும்
சில நினைவுகள் போல
கனவில் மட்டும் கலராய் நிறைந்து
விழித்த போதில் நீரில் கரைந்து -விழி நீரில் கரைந்து
கானல் நிஜமாய் கனவின் உருவாய் ...
Monday, January 30, 2012
Familiarity and Comfort
Are familiarity and comfort synonymous? To me they look like. I do like to venture in the unknown territory, and enjoy the sense of achievement after completing a challenging something. I love exploring the brand new, unlearned avenues of knowledge. I also find comfort in the familiar.
It is like - when I take off on a drive to a completely new destination - I do get excited.But I just don't start driving before doing some basic planning. Let me think a little bit more about it.
- Know the destination.
- Plan the route.Take GPS. Still check out the maps online before starting :)
- Plan buffer time for any unexpected delays.
- Make sure got enough gas in the tank.
- Other stuff to prepare kids, yourself etc are intuitive!
So I reach, and return. Happy, excited and satisfied. Yet, when I reach the freeway I know, the exit I need to take, a complete sense of safety washes over me. And that is why I think familiarity and comfort are synonymous. Though I would never want to be in a comfort zone for ever, I would want to return to the comfort zone and familiar settings to recharge and venture out more.
It is like - when I take off on a drive to a completely new destination - I do get excited.But I just don't start driving before doing some basic planning. Let me think a little bit more about it.
- Know the destination.
- Plan the route.Take GPS. Still check out the maps online before starting :)
- Plan buffer time for any unexpected delays.
- Make sure got enough gas in the tank.
- Other stuff to prepare kids, yourself etc are intuitive!
So I reach, and return. Happy, excited and satisfied. Yet, when I reach the freeway I know, the exit I need to take, a complete sense of safety washes over me. And that is why I think familiarity and comfort are synonymous. Though I would never want to be in a comfort zone for ever, I would want to return to the comfort zone and familiar settings to recharge and venture out more.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Silence
Silence - can mean quite a few things. The meaning of silence is very circumstantial and subjective. Acceptance, Rejection, Aggression, Submission, Love and plain simple passive laziness... Silence does acquire a lot of shades.
Being silent and being feeling silent are two completely different things.
Being silent can be for a lot of different reasons, ranging anywhere from the list mentioned above. This sort of silence sometimes is more dangerous than a ship wreck. This drowns the person who is observing silence in a lot of different feelings such as anger, self pity, injustice and stifling anguish. This silence needs to be broken. Unless the person speaks or vents, the person is never going to feel at peace with him/herself or life.
On the other hand, feeling silent is just the opposite. The silent feeling descends on an individual or two When there is content, complacence and may be friendship, love etc. When two people understand that silence is not a void to be filled by noise, rather a vacuum devoid of noise, and cherish the moment, feels the silence - life becomes more beautiful.
Whatever it is - understanding the power of silence and trying to practice it at times, at appropriate times, can bring peace to our existence.
Being silent and being feeling silent are two completely different things.
Being silent can be for a lot of different reasons, ranging anywhere from the list mentioned above. This sort of silence sometimes is more dangerous than a ship wreck. This drowns the person who is observing silence in a lot of different feelings such as anger, self pity, injustice and stifling anguish. This silence needs to be broken. Unless the person speaks or vents, the person is never going to feel at peace with him/herself or life.
On the other hand, feeling silent is just the opposite. The silent feeling descends on an individual or two When there is content, complacence and may be friendship, love etc. When two people understand that silence is not a void to be filled by noise, rather a vacuum devoid of noise, and cherish the moment, feels the silence - life becomes more beautiful.
Whatever it is - understanding the power of silence and trying to practice it at times, at appropriate times, can bring peace to our existence.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Pooh bear and Eeyore
Just a little difference. Being happy or being sad. Pooh bear and Eeyore - both lived in the 100 acre woods. I had always liked the silly old yellow cuddly bear. And never had any sympathy for that so tired looking sad donkey :)
I just looked at the ever present silly old yellow cuddly Pooh bear in that corner. What a beautiful symbolic reminder of happiness it is. Never once had I thought pooh bear in association with more deeper meanings of life!
Life comes in the same package for everyone. Colorful, morbid, scary, dangerous, funny, foolish, silly - whatever. Its our reaction to the life. A friend motioned her chance encounter with her co worker. Her coworker always brought sunshine. And my friend had never had an opportunity to go beyond the casual "hi - bye". Yesterday, she had a little bit more time for chitchat. And found out the coworker has a born blind 13 year old child. She didn't complain about the child or God. She had accepted the fact as it is and living her life to the fullest. She is not sad, bitter and unhappy.
And here I am complaining and shouting at my blessings almost on an everyday basis. Why? Because I am looking at life from Eeyore's perspective. Looking for a happiness that is in my mind. Not looking at the happiness that is present- right in front of me!!!!! Oh the silly old pooh bear must have had a good laugh all these years.
Well this doesn't mean the reactions are going to be tailored and always pleasant and happy. But will definitely start trying!
I just looked at the ever present silly old yellow cuddly Pooh bear in that corner. What a beautiful symbolic reminder of happiness it is. Never once had I thought pooh bear in association with more deeper meanings of life!
Life comes in the same package for everyone. Colorful, morbid, scary, dangerous, funny, foolish, silly - whatever. Its our reaction to the life. A friend motioned her chance encounter with her co worker. Her coworker always brought sunshine. And my friend had never had an opportunity to go beyond the casual "hi - bye". Yesterday, she had a little bit more time for chitchat. And found out the coworker has a born blind 13 year old child. She didn't complain about the child or God. She had accepted the fact as it is and living her life to the fullest. She is not sad, bitter and unhappy.
And here I am complaining and shouting at my blessings almost on an everyday basis. Why? Because I am looking at life from Eeyore's perspective. Looking for a happiness that is in my mind. Not looking at the happiness that is present- right in front of me!!!!! Oh the silly old pooh bear must have had a good laugh all these years.
Well this doesn't mean the reactions are going to be tailored and always pleasant and happy. But will definitely start trying!
Friday, January 20, 2012
மழை மாலை
கரு சுமந்த மேகங்கள்
இருள் நிறைந்த அந்தி வேளை
தலை குளித்த மரம் நிறைந்த
கார் வண்ண நெடுஞ்சாலை -
கடந்து செல்ல நெடுந்தூரம்
துணையிருக்கும் மெல்லிசை
மழைகால மாலை கூட
சிலநேரம் சுகமாக ...
நினைவலையின் சாரலிலே
நனைந்தபடி மெதுவாக
நேரத்தை துரத்தாமல்
நிஜ நிழலில் ஒதுங்காமல்
சுகமான சிறு பயணம்!
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
இசை
எங்கோ பிறந்து
எதிலோ கலந்து
காற்றாய் நுழைந்து
பாட்டாய் கரைந்து
மனதை வருடி
இதயம் நிறைக்கும்
இசையின் வடிவம்
யாரோ அறிவார்?
காலம் வென்ற
காதல் சொல்லி
மரணம் என்ற
வலியும் சொல்லி
உறவின் அருமை
பிரிவில் சொல்லி
எல்லாம் சொல்லும்
இசையின் வலிமை
மனிதம் இருக்கும்
வரையில் இருக்கும்.
எதிலோ கலந்து
காற்றாய் நுழைந்து
பாட்டாய் கரைந்து
மனதை வருடி
இதயம் நிறைக்கும்
இசையின் வடிவம்
யாரோ அறிவார்?
காலம் வென்ற
காதல் சொல்லி
மரணம் என்ற
வலியும் சொல்லி
உறவின் அருமை
பிரிவில் சொல்லி
எல்லாம் சொல்லும்
இசையின் வலிமை
மனிதம் இருக்கும்
வரையில் இருக்கும்.
Friday, January 13, 2012
If you can -
Accept who you are
Understand your strengths
Know your weaknesses
Practice what you believe in
Fearless when it comes to truth
Agree each of us are different
Look beyond personal differences
Love yourself and never pretends
Do things to your highest level of satisfaction
Take criticism on your work positively
Ignore criticism on your genes
Just move on.
Keep going.
Don't stop for praises.
Don't ignore criticism.
Don't think about what you don't have.
Do what you can do to be beautiful from inside out.
Not the other way round.
It’s your life.
You have the right to live it.
Just don’t step on your neighbors toes :)
Understand your strengths
Know your weaknesses
Practice what you believe in
Fearless when it comes to truth
Agree each of us are different
Look beyond personal differences
Love yourself and never pretends
Do things to your highest level of satisfaction
Take criticism on your work positively
Ignore criticism on your genes
Just move on.
Keep going.
Don't stop for praises.
Don't ignore criticism.
Don't think about what you don't have.
Do what you can do to be beautiful from inside out.
Not the other way round.
It’s your life.
You have the right to live it.
Just don’t step on your neighbors toes :)
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