The distinct sounds and smells of Trichy haven't changed a lot, though Trichy has. For 10 years in the prime of life, Trichy had been my place, in 7 of which I woke up and looked at the Malaikkottai, everyday - everyday in an academic year that was. Oh how I loved this city - that had transformed me into who I am today, had taught, polished, gave a best friend, nurtured and hurt me a little in the process too...
To have lived away from home, in an all girls school/women's college and hostel for 7 years was at once a boon nad a bane. I loved and hated the initial years, but started loving it completely as I grew older. It was 1997 I came out of that city once and for all, after completing my education. Now revisitng, kindles so many sparks of memory. Many small stores that were are huge shops today. the streets I scaled so timidly as a school girl, walked in as a college student are kind of daunting. The crowd is the same, the Superbazaar parking is the same. Missed going to Magna's audios...and Dosa corner....
Walking down the memory lane and actually doing it does have a charm.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Sunday, July 26, 2009
On Reading
Ah...the pleasures of rediscovering old favourites.... I'm back in India for vacation and have lots of time to read to my hearts content. Really. Started of with Ponniyin Selvan, Kaviri Maindan. And now revelling on my fav Richard Bach, Daphane DuMaurier, Mitchell's Gone with the Wind, Henry James and Virginia Woolf. I love reading and re reading. Sometimes a new concept surprises me from a book I'm reading for 10th or so time. Especially I am revelling in the un disturbed eloquence of my books. Though I crave, I'm out of touch with the current in Literature. Eventually I should get back in touch with the new. Books gives me a giddy timeless pleasure!
Saturday, July 11, 2009
On Marriage
They say marriage is made in heaven. But marriages can sure be kept in heaven if the couple involved and people around follow few simple rules. From my experience, I wish I can tell my family and friends these when they enter the bond of matrimony.
For the Groom:
Remember You are taking the vow to walk with this girl for the rest of your life. She has had a completely different set up, being taken care of by parents until the day she entered your life. Her expectations may be high. You cannot satisfy all of her expectations but you will not loose anything by giving her a sympathetic ear and just listening to her or agreeing with her. This way you can reduce lot of misunderstandings early on. You'll also learn to agree on things you two disagree. When it comes to family's harmony learn to give in or give up gracefully. You might have dreams. Let your dreams unfold slowly into your life, with your wife.
For the Bride:
You are thrown into a completely new set up. The carefree young girl is going to be the woman of the house. your responsibilities are boundless. You of course cannot do everything right. No one expects it of you either. Just wait, listen and do whatever you have to do in your new family. You are not expected to blend into the family immediately. Take your time, one step at a time and learn to understand and respect the differences in the new family which eventually will become yours.
For Both:
These are your children. But these are two different grown individuals. You had brought them together. Let them figure out life together. if they come to you with complaints, please tell them its their life and they have to figure out. DO not start giving out unsolicited or solicited advices to your daughter or son. if you do, you are inadvertently causing a rift between. Because as the girl's or boys parents we will only sympathise with our child, no matter what they say. So our advices can get very subjective to the extent of hurting their life of togetherness. Stay away for the whole first year and you will see them happy and together for the rest of their lives.
For the Groom:
Remember You are taking the vow to walk with this girl for the rest of your life. She has had a completely different set up, being taken care of by parents until the day she entered your life. Her expectations may be high. You cannot satisfy all of her expectations but you will not loose anything by giving her a sympathetic ear and just listening to her or agreeing with her. This way you can reduce lot of misunderstandings early on. You'll also learn to agree on things you two disagree. When it comes to family's harmony learn to give in or give up gracefully. You might have dreams. Let your dreams unfold slowly into your life, with your wife.
For the Bride:
You are thrown into a completely new set up. The carefree young girl is going to be the woman of the house. your responsibilities are boundless. You of course cannot do everything right. No one expects it of you either. Just wait, listen and do whatever you have to do in your new family. You are not expected to blend into the family immediately. Take your time, one step at a time and learn to understand and respect the differences in the new family which eventually will become yours.
For Both:
- Always respect both the parents.
- Never complain about one set of parents between both of you.
- Whatever happens within the four walls of your house, stays with you. DO NOT SHARE YOUR PERSONAL DIFFERENCES, TINY FIGHTS WITH RESPECTIVE PARENTS. Because you both can forget it in next few days and continue normal life, but the information will be blown out of proportion by loving, possessive parents.
- You can share your happy moments with parents - to give them the satisfaction that you are living happy.
These are your children. But these are two different grown individuals. You had brought them together. Let them figure out life together. if they come to you with complaints, please tell them its their life and they have to figure out. DO not start giving out unsolicited or solicited advices to your daughter or son. if you do, you are inadvertently causing a rift between. Because as the girl's or boys parents we will only sympathise with our child, no matter what they say. So our advices can get very subjective to the extent of hurting their life of togetherness. Stay away for the whole first year and you will see them happy and together for the rest of their lives.
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