Sunday, May 3, 2020

Is Perfection the same for everyone?

How would you take a comment, "You are a perfectionist". As a compliment or complaint? Well, I look at it as a veiled complaint. And that's what happened on the May 1st Friday morning, when someone at work made that comment.

Does perfection mean doing it right? Or following instructions to the the dot? What is perfect to me may not look even close to well done for someone else. So what does it really mean when someone say I am a perfectionist? Am I putting them off in any way? Stepping on their toes? Do I consciously  strive for perfection? In my mind, I am trying to do it right to my satisfaction. Do I think my satisfaction means this is perfect? Nope! I know the same things I do can be done better, differently, and in a shorter/longer time to different results by other people! So it is not perfection I am looking at, it is the joy of doing it - weather its cleaning windows or cooking dinner or finishing up my work. That's the only thing that matters at the end!

Give your 100% effort to what you are doing, and enjoy the process of doing it. See if this makes you feel happy, accomplished, and/or satisfied. Know the feeling when we eat a meal you love? Do you feel like that after doing something? or do you feel drained or anxious, and look for acknowledgement, appreciation from others? I think when we look for perfection, we may look for appreciation, praise and acknowledgement from others. We may set up ourselves for judgement, feel anxious and resent it later. If perfection means all these, I do not want any of it!

So what exactly is this perfection? Where does it exist? Perfection, very similar to beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. Perfection is shaped by the individual experiences and expectations. Your perfection may not necessarily be the same for the one who is evaluating, looking, or experiencing your work of art, meal, reading your words or whatever it is you produce. And when you look for appreciation or acceptance, things may result in disappointment and resentment. Who needs that?

When I give my 100% in doing the things I enjoy, I am not aiming for perfection. I am doing it for the joy, the fun, the satisfaction of doing it - the result may be clean windows, a sumptuous meal, monthly paycheck, happy garden, etc. And all these things make me happy. Difference between perfection and personal satisfaction is very clear. From your lenses, if that looks like perfection, so be it. Life moves on!

Thursday, March 2, 2017

நினைவுகள்

காலம் வெல்லும் காதல் எல்லாம்
கனவாய் மட்டும் கலைந்திட்டாலும்
நினைவின் நிழலில் என்றும் வாழும்
கவிதை வடிவில் உயிராய் மீண்டும்

எத்தனை தூரம் எத்தனை காலம்
எங்கோ ஒதுங்கி  மறந்தாற்போல
திரிந்தபோதும் மின்னல்  பொழுதில்
நெஞ்சம் நிறைக்கும் சின்ன நினைவில்

கொஞ்சம் போல ஓரம் வந்து
நெஞ்சம் முழுதும் பொங்கி நிறைக்கும்
வந்த பொழுதில்  என்னை துரத்தும்
அந்த நினைவை என்ன சொல்ல?







Tuesday, October 25, 2016

The Wanderer

The blindfolded warrior wanders
Into the depths of despair
Farther and farthest unbeknown
Lost into the darkest tangled forest
Infested with slimy slithering
Knotted bumps of rocky bushes
And amidst the echo of scathing menace
Drowns his moaning fears..
Wanders the warrior.

Alone...and lost-until
The streaming sense of rays
Bathes the darkness in intermittent flashes
Able hands unbinds the blindfold
Revealing the reveling luscious path
Winding amongst the darkness
Illuminated by the dancing rays
Wanders the warrior back.





Monday, April 25, 2016

John Donne's Compass

Moments, minutes, hours and days
Gliding unfathomably away...
Looking so deeply with unseeing eyes
Into the acute distance...
Thinking of the 'compass and gold to airy thinness beat'
Intense bursts of momentary loneliness
Humming amidst the daily conundrum-
Fills this void with a deafening silence.
The temporary void feels like a chasm.
John Donne's lines ring in the distant bell
Rest assured compass.
Hold on tight hinge.
'The leg that travels far, makes a full circle
And returns to the base'. 

Friday, March 4, 2016

Finding Home

Toggling between hope and reality
Tossed around in relentless waves
Surviving in moments, losing them-
Yet another loss and yet another...

Compressed despair of a vagabond warrior
Desperately depleted of life's purpose
Wanders in hazy circles
In a hamsters wheel or so he thinks.

Beyond, just beyond the hamster wheel
Beckons the purpose.
Look. Walkaway. Live your life.
Toss the despair. Ride the waves. Smile at the sun. Find your home.



Saturday, November 28, 2015

Communications lesson on a weekend morning!

And so it started. The expectations. And the frustrations. Life revolves around a bunch of expectations. When we go to sleep, we expect to wake up. Sometimes it happens :) Start to drive to work expecting to arrive in 30 minutes. Many times this doesn't. We set our expectations around the norm. that limits the frustrations.

We can wake up at any time that works for us. But someone in the household builds an expectation on "your" wake up time. What happens next? Lets say your teenager expects you to wake up at 7 AM on a weekend for a pancake breakfast. And you wake up at 8. And ask your teenager to eat hot cereal instead. What happens?

Your teenager's expectations is not met. That builds frustrations in him. You, on the other hand, didn't know he had that expectation on a pancake breakfast. So keep doing what you usually do. This frustrated disappointed son just does not want to eat the cereal and throws a tantrum. You lose your cool. And the weekend begins.

If you and your son discussed the plan for breakfast the night before, you would have had a blissful weekend and a happy teenager this weekend. You didn't. So is it only you who needs to learn a lesson of asking before preparing breakfast lesson? Or your son needs to ask for what he wants before? May be you both didn't even discuss to communicate what you both had about breakfast in mind.

So what do you think would have made this day better? Communications. Communication as a mother and child. Communication within the family. We all live and work in today's world that exist as much connected and as much in silos. Thanks to technology. With all the social media, TV, cell phone, laptops and ipads blinking and glaring in a living room, communicating effectively and clearly with each other about the plans to tomorrow sets the expectations right. Keeps the frustrations at bay.

 

Sunday, November 1, 2015

The uninitiated

Would you rather wish being
Washed away in a tsunami
To this ceaseless moaning of
Endless splashing?

The far away cricket on a
Silent sleepless night
Constant gnawing of
Something forgotten on a long road trip...

Its your speed that determines
Death or destination on a
Mountain road with a lot of
Gentle turns .


You are in and yet you are not
It is there... but not really so
For the uninitiated - its all the same -
Tornados , hurricanes and a gentle breeze....