Socializing - A trick or a treat?

I got into an interesting discussion about my socializing habits! A friend was able to provide a critical point of view. "looks like you have friends or acquaintances in every street around here, thats why when we plan the week ends, you are always not able to join in". I was kind of preparing for a defensive argument, but my practical self pointed out - I dont have to defend my friendship and acquaintances to some one else. But can you let go a statement like that without airing your opinion? After all its about you isnt it? So I did not let go.

I am sure we all agree humans are essentially social animals. Especially after building a nest to roost in a country very far from where we are born, very far from where our families and childhood friendships live - we need to build a social circle. For us to talk, share and for the children to have an introduction to a family like settings and meet different people.

Initially Birds of a feather flocks together. After we are out and about - that essentially means, after becoming parents and kids start school, we get to meet people from other nationalities and get to know them. When the kids becomes friends, some simple getting to know evolves into good friendships. Our social circle develops. Essentially living in the bay area introduces us with a wonderful opportunity to meet with people from all around the world. Even since my first one started Pre School, I was lucky to know American, Indian, Korean, Vietnamese, Japanese, Mexican and British moms. Basically we are all moms. We had Wednesday play groups where our children played in a a park after Pizza lunch, and we exchanged food from all our different kitchens. The bonding was great and I understood, languages and culture can be poles apart - but the MOM feeling is the same, as well as the Woman feeling. I would say I gained a better perspective as a mom and a wife from my friends from this play group, rather than I lost "my"time.

Ofcourse when you are part of a group, and the kids are friends - some of your weekends are not yours. you have to attend Birthday parties - for your child's sake. Little compromises or if you want to call it sacrifices - are important part of making new friends. I am sure giving your child the opportunity to move in multi ethnic, multi cultural environment - gives them the comfrtability early on to deal with multi ethnic group of peers later on in their lives.

So when my friend told me I missed out (actually we did not "miss") on specific activities because I had other social events - like Birthday parties - I could not agree. For one - I want to give my kids all the experiences of living in bay area. So we do camping and other seasonal sports as a recreation - once or twice during the season. Numer two, I do not want to do it every week. Its as simple as that. Letting my son his friends in social events - sometimes specific to his own age group is also important to me.

And yes, instead of one best friend or whatever I have a few good friends. I cannot stand pretentious friendships. "Genuine" is what I look for and give to my friends. So when the wavelength match with a certain aquaintence - we let it develop to the next level - friendship. Its not like me or the friend involved do anything un natural and go over board to "create" a fiendship. On yeah, Friendships can never be created. They should happen. At the same time we need to nurture it with care. Its like a two way traffic. When all the communication is done by one person and the other person wants to keep quiet and take you for granted, I would not call it friendship. So with good friendship, though we loose some of "our" weekend times, we do gain poeple, genuine people to love and nurture and to be loved and nurtured in turn.

So I guess making a friendship and socializing a trick or treat is very much in our hands. What do you think?