Dependencies

Dependency has a special connotations for those non working ( I mean not working for money, outside home) women. Me being one of them, apart from" that" special kind of dependency, I am talking about being a nucleus family in the United states or anywhere else, away from where we have our extended family. Where just as a foursome or threesome, any family with children - have to depend on our friends one time or another for help, to take care of the children in some situations. When I lived back in India - for my aunts and uncles - baby sitting was never a problem. They had thier parent's homes or siblings homes to drop the children at moments notice to go somewhere or take a break from monotonous routine, even.

But here, when we have dependent children - not in school we have to look for baby sitters even to make a dentist appointment. I do not know about others. But, With two children aged 6 and 3, I am always looking for an impromptu baby sitters for my children. You know what comes naturally - getting the grandma over to help for simple things - always remains a wishful thought. My man had to undergo surgery two times. First when I had my little one inside (then I only had to make arrangement for my first one, then three yrs old).

The funny part is, First time I had enlisted a friends help to drive my husband home after the surgery. When were in the surgi center, the friend who was supposed to drive - had to rush his wife to labor & delivery. I ended up being the driver! Not that I didnt know driving. But being pregnant I was little nervous! But I managed. Now when having both the kids out - I feel completely dependent on friends. The timings did not work for the usual baby sitter. (she is only doing part time when her kids are at school) .

I feel so excruciatingly humiliated (just like a cockroach - this insect never feels obviously bad though - encroaching on your kitchen) when I have to ask a friend to take care of our daughter/son so very frequently. But then I am not blessed with a very quiet child either. She is a perfect little curious george. A loud one at that. We do not go on a date leaving the children behind. We are always in the urgent care or emergency or on a doc appointment. So, Apart from being in the hospital - on an average of 3 times a week, enlisting peopel to help - not that they grudge, feels so bad. I wish God never keeps me in a position to go ask for help - baby sitting help, I mean.